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Is there any harm in his posting my picture on his wall with the caption "smitten"?

Tagged as: Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 January 2012) 7 Answers - (Newest, 18 January 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have met this guy once in person before, and we are supposed to be going on a date this week. He has posted my photo on his facebook wall without my permission. You can share photos on facebook. He wrote a comment underneath saying " smitten ! ". Do you think there is any harm in him doing that ?. I'd still like to meet up with him, but it seems funny that he has done that when he hardly knows me. His friend also sent me a message saying that this guy cant wait to see me and said he thinks he is in love. We have been intouch on facebook for a couple of weeks now, since we first met.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2012):

I didnt write back to his friend or add him,as i was still wondering whether i should, and i've just noticed that he has cancelled his friend request.I hope that wont put the other guy off meeting me.He hasnt called me yet either,and we are supposed to be meeting tomorrow.I'm getting worried. He is moving house tomorrow though too.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (18 January 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntHe's SMITTEN.... he will probably be a bit over the top in trying to get you to commit to him..

advice: meet only in public places until you feel safer with him.

make sure all friends know when and where you are meeting and have a pre-arranged set time to check in and make sure he knows it.

facebook makes people braver than in real life... hence the friend's friend request...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2012):

That's very creepy OP. It sounds like he's a bit of an over bearing weirdo, or he could just be so inept and inexperienced that he thinks this kind of thing is cool.

I don't see it as a reason to back off but I would call him out on being so public and forward about his affections. Tell him to calm down OP. If he is a nice guy then you wouldn't want to lose out on him based on this kind of inexperienced idiocy.

Look I don't see any danger here really, the worst scenario here is that this guy has developed strong feelings for you too soon and is just not very good when it comes to women. That's not necessarily a bad thing OP because a lot of guys like that will tone it down and relax a bit if you tell them to. You seem to be interested so give it a go. It's always a risk but I see no deal breakers here OP.

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A male reader, SonOfMan Christmas Island +, writes (18 January 2012):

SonOfMan agony auntI think we need to unplug from the matrix of facebook and get back to the real world.

If you are uncomfortable with your picture there then report it and have it removed, or ask him to remove it and tell him how you feel. Or you can take it as a compliment that you have made such an impression on a guy first time.

Personally, I think he either wants to show you off to his friends, make himself feel better or just try to win some extra points from you because he thinks you might appreciate the attention.

If you don't know the friend then there's no reason to add him. Get to know the guy before taking it any further and see what he's like and if you are compatible to carry on with a relationship. Be honest with yourself about what you want and talk about it.

If you get bad feelings let it go and don't rely too much on facebook.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2012):

I also want to add that his friend has also sent me a friend request but i'm not sure whether to add him.Maybe i should just add him after i have been on the date with this guy ?

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A female reader, Lexie88 Australia +, writes (18 January 2012):

Lexie88 agony auntI wouldn't call this 'normal' behaviour but perhaps this is his way of showing his excitement about your date? How old is he? This sort of thing doesn't strike me as coming from someone mature.

I don't want to jump the gun but be careful of guys who seem 'in love' with you before they even know you. They usually burn out very fast.

If you have no problem with your photo being on his page, then let it go and see how the date pans out. Take it slow and don't expect much from him just yet.

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A female reader, katiekate United States +, writes (18 January 2012):

katiekate agony auntThis guy sounds kinda creepy to me. Guys who are that forward are a huge turn-off for me, and in my experience, they continue to be way too clingy and possessive. Maybe be friends with the guy, but it is way too soon for him to be pulling stunts like that.

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