A
female
age
36-40,
*allerina
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now. Before we met he was married, but his marriage broke up when he was caught cheating with a girl in his work. He claims he was unhappy in his marriage however and this led to the affair.In the early stages of our relationship I caught him texting the same girl that broke up his marriage. Since then everything has been fine until last night when another girl from his work text him at midnight! He claims they have been friends for ages but he has hardly ever spoken about her?! I am so angry! I don't know whether to work at this or just let him go.Am i rite to be so upset? Or am I punishing him for what has happened in his previous relationships?
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affair, broke up, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ballerina +, writes (11 March 2010):
Ballerina is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the help I appreciate the advice. He hasnt even been in touch since we argued about it so no I cant say I have been reassured at all but belittled...yes! I dont want to punish him for his previous mistakes as we have all done stupid things when in relationships we are unhappy with but I truly believed we were happy which is why I am so confused?!
A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (11 March 2010):
 Sorry to say but if a man cheats on his wife he will cheat on anybody.
Yes your right to be upset!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2010): I dont know about being upset, but you are right to question it given his history.
It may have been nothing, but its up to him to reassure you that it is nothing. If it were me, I would have shown you the text right away to put your mind at rest.
Because you know his history, you are always going to suspect things when they appear similar to things he has done in the past. Its just the way it happens. Thats why you need to talk to him and he needs to reassure you. If he cant give you that reassurances or belittles you because you question these things, then in my opinion he is up to something.
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