A
male
age
51-59,
*r.Worry
writes: Is it normal for a relationship to start to change after just 3 months? What I mean is less phone calls, fewer texts and fewer "I love you's".I should start by telling you that I have self-esteem issues,i'm overly sensitive,abandonment issues and I think all the time,why would she want me when she has much better choices.I used to be a bodybuilder and now I'm disabled.My right arm is paralized and my legs are screwed up:torn ligaments,lack of ankles,not much bending and some metal.I can still walk,I just have a bad limp.Now that she rarely wants to talk on the phone,fewer texts and less"I love you's".Does a relationship just get to this point or should I be worried?My therapist has told me not to listen to my gut because I always expect the worse no matter what.Has my needness made her regret being with me?Is she talking to someone else?Is my distrust going to push her to someone else?I feel hurt,lost and regected.I love her and never want to lose her.Please,someone help me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Mr.Worry +, writes (23 March 2008):
Mr.Worry is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat's a really good ideal!I'm always available.Being that way probably makes her take me for granted even if she doesn't realize it.Thx for the advice:)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): I understand where u are coming from. I have known my boyfriend for 11 years and been dating for almost 2 years now. I do believe relationship change within time. the romance has decreased and sometimes i feel that he doesn't love me enough. we barely kiss or give each other hugs...but he does tell me he loves me all the time. also we live about 4 hours away. so when we do see each other it feels like we are married. I am trying to change my ways since i know he loves me very much because if he didn't he would have left. try not to think so negative (thats my biggest problem and he can sense it) Find things to do that doesn't involve her all the time. try not to be so available. i notice that when i don't call my boyf he doesn't stop calling me.....but when i do...i get barely any calls
hang in there i am sure you will figure it out. even when u are not busy make urself seem busy...trust me it works...
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A
female
reader, LIERIN +, writes (7 March 2008):
I found my solmate .. and he told me he loves me after two months of dating ... so its not true, that you can't find it right the way ... it happens!
We have been together for a year now .. and its still every day phone calls, text's 100s of I LOVE YOU'S and we see each other pretty much every single day!
Our love is actually growing much stronger, even tho we started as lovers pretty much right the way after meeting each other ...
Just cause she doesn't say it that often anymore, doesnt mean she doesnt love you! Im sure she does!!! Dont put yourself down, just cause you are disabled. She met you like this ... its not cause of that!!
And the truth is ... 3months are the "lust" moths .. than the real love and relationship starts kicking in ...
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Mr.Worry +, writes (7 March 2008):
Mr.Worry is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThere's something very important I failed to mention.We did not just meet 3 months ago,we've been talking off and on for 2 years as friends and it grew into a relationship.Thx for the advice.
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (7 March 2008):
HEY!!
If it starts off with all the love etc straight away then yea it can decrease.. but that doesnt necesarily mean she doesn love you still.. just isnt telling you as much..
GOOD LUCK :)!! Feel free to mail me about anything x x
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (7 March 2008):
It is possible she is pulling back if you are smothering her with your concerns. Can you just give her space and realize that giving someone space is the kindest thing you can do for them. It shows them that you trust them and that you love. Many women want their men to have other interests besides them. Do you go out and have friends outside of this relationship?
If you recognize that you are needy, then you need to work on it or yes, it is possible she is feeling very smothered.
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