A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i used to work with this guy over a year ago we got on great but he had a girlfriend. I met him out on Halloween night and we ended up kissing. We were both quite drunk but he did say he had always fancied me and now he's single. Since then we've been talking pretty much all day everyday and a few nights after Halloween he asked if I wanted to do something that Saturday. I agreed and he said to come to his and we'd get food and watch a movie. I went over to his quite late ( close to 9pm) and we did as he said but we also slept together. I know that lads will be lads and will always try it on and I don't regret it but I wondered if he expected it to happen instead of just being lucky i was up for it. After that we still spent all day everyday talking and obviously at times it would be sexual and flirtatious and others just normal chat and he asked me again the following week to go over to his and we had round 2. He's quite shy with girls and I know his ex lived a long way away so it was quite infrequent that they got to see each other and I know he's not the kind of person to take me out on romantic dinners etc and that's fine with me! But I don't know if it's just sex to him? When I'm with him we've such a good time and he's so affectionate and attentive and we personality wise we get on great but I just don't know if I'm barking up the wrong tree
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drunk, flirt, his ex, kissing, shy Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Garbo  +, writes (26 November 2015):
 Before you ask whether you are just sex to him, you need to answer to yourself: what is he to you and what do you want him to be?
In your post, you do mention that you "fancy" him but that is insufficient of a description to explain what you want him to be to you: exclusive BF, someone you just have sex with when you meet up, a passing affair...?
I think you should stop having sex with him until you sort out, inside you, where you want to go with this guy. My hunch is that you want him to be your exclusive BF, but that does not mean that he wants to ...in which case the sex you are having is pointless or worse, you end up being his FWB and a meaningless booty-call.
So stop having sex with him, decide what your objectives are with him, then meet up with him and talk with him to see how he sees his future with you. If what he sees you as in the future makes you happy, then take a period of time to both work on it. Sex will come all on its own thereafter.
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