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Is 5 sex partners by age 21 ok?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 October 2012) 8 Answers - (Newest, 23 January 2013)
A age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi. I am curious whether it is ok/normal for a 21 year old boy to have slept with 5 girls. I am a 20 year old virgin and my boyfriend admitted he slept with 5 girls previously. I shouldn't have asked about his past, but I was curious and didn't want to be with someone who had been around too much. One of the girls was his long time girlfriend, but the other 4 were not. Before we met, he had a more wild past (it was his freshman year in college). Please let me know what you think. I know still being a virgin at my age is not the norm and I don't expect that from others I date, I've just waited until I find someone I think I can share that connection with. Thanks everyone :-)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2013):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for the help, aunts. We broke up because he lied about this and many other things. Quite a ladies man unfortunately. On to bigger and better things for me!

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (31 October 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI personally don't think it's bad... I think when I married my first husband at 21 I had had 9 or 10....

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A female reader, adamantine Australia +, writes (31 October 2012):

adamantine agony auntI was in the same boat as you. I was my boyfriends 5th and he was my first (same ages as you too). I think its pretty normal.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks everyone! We have a very solid relationship and I trust him a lot. I KNOW he isn't using me just for sex, just wanted to know if 5 was a bad number. I appreciate all of your help so much!

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A male reader, TomWilkinson United Kingdom +, writes (30 October 2012):

TomWilkinson agony aunt5 girls at 17 is reasonable here in the UK, so considering he's been to University, where even the "late bloomers" over here have "fun", I certainly wouldn't worry about it. I'd be glad he was honest more than anything, that's way more important than how many notches are on the bedpost.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2012):

The average American has something around 4-8 partners in their whole lifetime.

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A male reader, Hennessy1989 United Kingdom +, writes (29 October 2012):

Hennessy1989 agony auntIf he's telling the truth then 5 isn't that bad, I wouldn't worry too much

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A female reader, Staceily United States +, writes (29 October 2012):

Staceily agony auntIt is very hard to say what is normal/ok. Some guys are still virgins at 21, some have had only one partner, some 20+. "Normal" isn't a term one can define. What you need to do is decide if it is okay for you, does it bother you, does it seem like too many for you? Does he care deeply about you or are you worried he only wants sex because of his past? Everyone is different and what people would be able to handle is different. I can tell you I would be able to deal with it if he was a good guy and I knew he truly cared about me, but that's just me. I couldn't do a 21 year old with more than 10 partners. But if you do stay with him don't ask anything else about his sexual past. Knowing the number of partners is fine but you don't want details, it will only hurt you. And if you decide to have sex with him make sure you wait until you are ready, not because he asks/wants it. It is the only way to know if he wants you as someone serious and not just another roll in the hay.

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