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I'm willing to try a relationship despite distance and the age difference

Tagged as: Age differences, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 August 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 15 August 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, *acy.lou writes:

I met this guy the first day of my freshman year and he was a senior.. I was interested right away, but my friend told me he had a gf so I eventually just gave up. His gf and him broke up before graduation.

Later that summer we started talking on facebook because he coached my brothers hockey team. I quickly fell in love with talking to him and we talked all the time. He helped me through a lot that summer until eventually he had to leave for college 2 hours away. We continued to talk for quite a while, but eventually we stopped because we became too busy. We still talked every once in a while at least for about a week at least once a month.

I just started to get over him, then he came back for the summer and coached me in tennis and we started talking and I quickly felt all the feelings come back and grow. We've talked everyday since and I've found myself abousolutely in love with him. I haven't told him because i'm scared he won't feel the same because of our age.. we've brought it up, but he's never really said how he feels about me. He only said that he really cares about me, but feels the age difference (me being a junior in high school and him a sophomore in college)and distance would make it hard to be serious. I understand that it will be hard, but I just know i'm willing to try with skype and phone calls and visits every once in a while until I graduate.

I'm at the point now where he leaves in a week. He's promised he'll make a better effort and we'll keep talking. I'm just scared it'll be like last year.

Should I tell him how I feel? Is it even possible he feels the same? Should I just try to move on? (Even though it might kill me to see him with anyone else, or I can't even imagine being with someone else?)Any advice?

View related questions: broke up, facebook, fell in love, move on

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A female reader, Blue_Angel0316 United States +, writes (15 August 2011):

Blue_Angel0316 agony auntLong distance relationships can be very hard to cope with. It's lots of time spent apart often with longing for that person which could lead to stress or depression on the part of one or both parties. Since you don't know how he actually feels except that he does care for you in some way, I would say that is the thing you can to look for most.

Give this friendship time to blossom into the relationship it is intended to be. Don't rush things. Someone older often has different experiences and somehow feels they may not be an appropriate suitor for a much younger person. I am sure you are both focused on your education as you should be. Since you can use Skype and phone calls or text for communication just continue to do so until you feel more comfortable with persuing something more.

You must allow yourself time to grow and giving your guy friend time to get the feeling he needs to know what he wants. If it's meant to be believe me it will! What you can ultimately conclude is that if you give things time, the relationship status will begin to reveal itself.Unraveling it's self one step at the time. The first step for you is to focus on you and your specific needs and wants. Don't press the guy. Allow him to come to you!I know that's a hard one sometimes. :-)

Find things that will keep you busy and not over zealous over this guy! Men tend to run usually when they feel too much pressure from a potential mate. Remember that he is going to have friends, male and female.......but that if he has a special feeling for you that in time IT WILL SURFACE!

Take your time and let the relationship develope one day at the time into the relationship that God has created for you! Best wishes!

God bless,

Blue_Angel

^(**)^

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A female reader, Blue_Angel0316 United States +, writes (15 August 2011):

Blue_Angel0316 agony auntLong distance relationships can be very hard to cope with. It's lots of time spent apart often with longing for that person which could lead to stress or depression on the part of one or both parties. Since you don't know how he actually feels except that he does care for you in some way, I would say that is the thing you can to look for most.

Give this friendship time to blossum into the relationship it is intended to be. Don't rush things. Someone older often has different experiences and somehow feels they may not be an appropriate suitor for a much younger person. I am sure you are both focused on your education as you should be. Since you can use Skype and phone calls or text for communication just continue to do so until you feel more comfortable with persuing something more.

You must allow yourself time to grow and giving your guy friend time to get the feeling he needs to know what he wants. If it's meant to be believe me it will! What you can ultimately conclude is that if you give things time, the relationship status will begin to reveal itself.Unraveling it's self one step at the time. The first step for you is to focus on you and your specific needs and wants. Don't press the guy. Allow him to come to you!I know that's a hard one sometimes. :-)

Find things that will keep you busy and not over zealous over this guy! Men tend to run usually when they feel too much pressure from a potentioal mate. Remember that he is going to have friends, male and female.......but that if he has a special feeling for you that in time IT WILL SURFACE!

Take your time and let the relationship develope one day at the time into the relatiolnshp that God has created for you! Best wishes!

God bless,

Blue_Angel

^(**)^

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