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female
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anonymous
writes: how do I know that i'm ready and if he's definately the one? I ask that but i am pretty sure, well as sure as I can be that my boyfriend is the one, I dream of being with him forever. We live together, renting at the moment and we're looking into buying very soon. Its just that he has been hinting at marriage, which I would love, but why do I find it so scary??!I think one of the reasons is because my ex, who I was engaged to left me for another woman with a child. (I may not be able to have kids) Also, I've had an engagement party with m ex, should I do it again if my man does propose? I feel that I'd be embarressed to have all my family see me getting engaged again, but i also feel its bad to deny my man of things man couples go thru.is so diffiult!! x
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male
reader, spignise  +, writes (20 November 2009):
Our past is just that our past we learn what we can but we dont live there. Because now your marrying your ex as well. Marry him if its in your heart all we can do is go on our faith and do our part as a partner and pray for the best. Dont let him suffer for your ex its your time to shine.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): I believe he is in Love with you or he wouldn't "hint" around about marriage, so tell him whenever he hints again, that the thought is intriguing, but you're afraid because youve been hurt in the past (give details so he understands why), and see what he says from there. You are very blessed to have a gentle man who loves you, and he really does, so he will understand, and think of ways to ease your fears. Love isn't just a feeling. It's action. To love is to commit to that person on a daily basis, accept them as they are, love unconditionally, and Love Yourself First, or you won't be able to give that away. Remember Whitney Houston's song, "The Greatest Love of All"? God Bless Sweetie, I have a good feeling about this.
Carol
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): I'm sorry I don't have a real answer for you. I only can say I understand where you are coming from. You're not alone!I'm engaged and love my fiancée, but I also am very scared to take the big step. I was even scared to say yes when he asked and cried for hours. I knew it was coming and even gave the suttle ok, but when it really happend, I felt pushed and on the spot. We live together and are saving for a home and for the wedding that we decided to wait two years for. The time is flying by and the more scared I get!
He is so perfect for me, but what is stopping me? The biggest thing that hit me is the first reply you got when she stated, you may have to take care of some things first before you feel fully ready. I know I need to put my bad relationships in the past and maybe get some closure with others I thought were "possibilities". Tie up the loose knots before you tie the knot! :) Just think about your every move when going about this, so you don't let your emotions completely take over and regret it later.
Of course express your feeling to your boyfriend! I did and he made me feel a lot better about it then before. Maybe your feeling like there's a lot of things you could do or be without that commitment or relationship and what good comes of marriage that you don't already have? I know I feel that way sometimes. Find the answers to that and that will help. I'm having some trouble with that... Maybe things like safety, future family, the wedding itself, the "any time" boody, lol, knowing someone is showing there undying love for you and you to him.?
My parents have a great relationship of 35 years and my mom said she was very scared at first, but my dad helped her through it and she is very happy with her choice. If she went with her other "interests" she would have been on the streets or a drunk. Think of your self first, without the thought of hurting anyone. What do YOU really want? Look at other happy relationships and ask what they felt before they married and how they "just knew" and of course pray about it. I hope this helps somewhat.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2006): You just know. It never made sense to me, either, when I was dating someone who I loved and first thinking of marriage. Luckily I listened to what everyone kept telling me - you just know - and I realized I was still unsure. So I went on, and eventually, I found a new guy, and suddenly I knew exactly how every happily married woman I'd met had always described feeling. I just knew. There's no other way to describe it. He had his character flaws and his annoying habits, like anyone else in the world. But I no longer wondered what else might be out there; I no longer felt like I'd be sacrificing anything. I just knew.Hold out for that. Many of my happily married friends found that feeling with someone they'd initially had doubts about, sometimes after a few months of separation. So if you don't feel it now, it doesn't mean this isn't the guy (thought it might - it did for me). What it does mean is that there's something else you need to attend to before you tie the knot. Take the time to figure out what that is, and your marriage will be a much happier one.
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female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (8 February 2006):
 Comunicate with him, tell him you love him but find the idea of marriage scarrey and give the reasons, remember this man is not the man who hurt you, this is a different person and with any relationship we take a gamble.
Some pay off some dont but you should not let that spoil what you two have together.
Ask your bloke if he wants a party and if he does go for it, if not fine at least your not left trying to guess whats best.
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