A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I really love this girl and I've waited for her for 2 years plus already because she is in a relationship. Actually she felt the same way as me while with her guy. She has hurt me many times because of her guy. She told me to move on and her bf told her to send me harsh text messages. Actually she had on and off feeling towards me. It has been a month or so that I last talked about me still having feelings for her. I still do have feelings for her but I'm not showing towards her but I show signs that I still care for her. Her relationship is a unhealthy one. Recently, she had a big conflict with her bf. She's thinking of ending her relationship of 5 years being with him. A week back, I was surprised, she wished me for my birhday right on the dot, at 12 midnight. And is a sweet one. Sometimes I'm confused, does she still has feelings for me? And should I be there for her when she managed to break up? I still do want her in my life, but I don't know about her. Should I give her space after she broke up or in the midst of braking up. I can't see her go through this. What am I supposed to do for her at the moment??
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (9 June 2010):
 Give her space, if she wants you then she'll come to you. Just know that if she comes to you wanting to be comforted, don't read too much into it. Be a friend first and if I were you I'd stop confessing your feelings to her, she already knows you like her... If she has feelings for you, she'll let you know.
Best of luck :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): At the moment, if she is going through some conflicts with her boyfriend, then as hard as it may be I think it might be best to give her some space to sort out what is happening. She might not break up with her boyfriend, they might sort things out. Or maybe they will break up. But either way, I think it is something that only they can sort out.
If she does break up with him, again, I think it would be best to give her space to deal with it. I'm not saying that you should leave her alone and not be there for her. She would probably appreciate a friend, and your support could be really helpful for her. But what I mean is, don't expect that she will leave her boyfriend and jump into a relationship with you. It might happen, I don't know. But it might also be too much pressure on her. She will probably need time after the break up to come to terms with things. After all, she has been with her boyfriend for a long time. So as long as you just be there for her as a friend, I think it should be fine to stay beside her.
As for the situation in general...you say you have been waiting for this girl for two years. That is a very long time. I could be wrong, but I can't help but think that if she was going to give things a try with you, she would have done so by now, especially if her relationship is as bad as you say. So I'm not certain that things will change here. You could continue waiting for a very long time, with no guarantee of being with her.
Like I said before though, I think if you care about this girl, then that is great. But are you friends with her because you genuinely like being friends with her, or because you are hoping she will be with you some day? I think there is a big difference in those two things. If you are comfortable with how things are though, then that is fine. But if it is painful in any way, then I think it might be time to try and continue to move forward with your life, rather than put it on hold waiting for this girl. Sure, still be friends with her, but don't neglect your own life, and don't let opportunities pass you by because of being set on having this girl.
I hope that made sense, and that none of it sounded judgemental or negative in any way. It must be a tricky situation, and difficult to know what to do. I hope things work out well though. Good luck. x
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