A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Just over 2 years ago, I met this guy at a party and for just over a year after that we were seeing each other on and off but the whole thing was really strange and there were always things stopping us being together and we wouldn't speak for months. The longest time we didn't speak was about 5 months. The last time I saw him was last year on Valentines day when he took me out and acted like he wanted to be with me etc. The morning after our date, I logged onto facebook to find that he'd deleted me and all my close friends. i tried texting him but he didn't reply and we haven't spoken since; I never did find out the reason why he deleted me. Anyhow, this guy was my first love and i still think about him to this day even though i have a boyfriend whom i completely love and adore since this other guy was always "the one who got away" for me, and lately i've been really tempted to read him on facebook, not even to talk to him. i just want to show him what he's missed out on, like my boyfriend is far better looking than he is and i've lost loads of weight, i just don't want to come across as stalkerish. I've dreamt about him several times recently of how it would have been if we started a relationship and i've found myself going onto a friend's facebook just to look at his profile..i feel ridiculously sad and pathetic as it's been over 2 years now. i'd just love to chat to him and know how he's doing, despite the fact i'm happy with my boyfriend who's definitely the best thing that's ever happened to me..help anyone? x
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female
reader, CuppenZeCake  +, writes (27 March 2011):
 Well it's natural to want to reconnect :) It also has been a long time and if you want to, go for it! He might be unwilling and you don't know what his situation is or know why he cut you out of his life, but kudos for moving on! :D
A
female
reader, FiveoJen +, writes (26 March 2011):
Okay.. My policy is brutal honesty, so here it is. First and foremost, this dude wasn't and isn't your ex. He played you. PERIOD. When you meet up with a guy, and then don't talk for months..and then bam he's back in the picture..HELLO-NEED I SPELL IT OUT? You were a BOOTY CALL. Not a girlfriend. Whether or not it be for actual sex, at some point in time, something you did was gratifying for him and satisfied some crave he had. When his "fix" was met, he bounced. The reason your obsessing, and YES it IS obsessing, is because of the fact that he DOESN'T want you. That is why you are still hung up on him. You dont need to facebook him, call, text, chat, whatever. You need to hang it up and move on. He doesn't care, he doesn't love you, doesn't want you, doesn't need you. And how I know this is because if he did, you would not have gone 5 months without talking. And after your "date" where he "acted" like he wanted to be with you... (Got what he wanted)...he bounced, and has been gone ever since. That honey, is NOT a relationship. If you have been fortunate enough to snag a guy that treats you right, and makes you happy-then you need to do yourself a favor and stick with him. And if you still down the road find yourself obsessing over the dirtbag...well, I guess then my next piece of advise would be to tell your current boyfriend how hung up you are over the other one. Don't ruin it for the rest of us females and destroy a good relationship based on some infatuation with a dirtbag. Because then months down the road, your current "awesome" boyfriend will have been hurt and probably turn into a douchebag himself.
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