A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My man and I want to make love but I don't want to lose my virginity yet. He has convinced me that if we have anal sex then this will be possible. Is this true?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2008): No it isn't true, and he is just saying that so you give in to him. He doesn't love you. And anal sex is foul, degrading & very painful. The only reason men like it is b/c it's a "new hole" other than your vagina & they want something "new" No, don't do this, and run like hell from this a**hole. Pun intended.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (6 March 2008):
 You had wonderful advice from all of the Aunts. I agree with them all - this boyfriend of yours doesn't sound very considerate. Anal sex hurts a LOT LOT LOT more than vaginal sex, and will not be nearly as enjoyable for you. Don't let your boyfriend "convince" you to do anything you're not comfortable with.
And, as to whether or not you'll be losing your virginity, everyone may think differently about that. I don't know, it's hard to say. I've always considered anal sex the proverbial "FIFTH" base. I'd say that if you had butt sex that you would not be a virgin anymore - not in the traditional way, but nonetheless.
I hope you are happy with the decision you make with your boyfriend. Anal sex does not rule out STD's, in fact it heightens the likeliness of contracting them. SO STILL BE SAFE, go VERY VERY VERY slowly (it probably won't work the first couple of times), and if it hurts AT ALL stop. Let your body be your guide.
Good luck, sweetness!
xx India
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): Also wanted to add as others have said here, penetration is penetration and you will have lost your virginity if you have anal sex....and not a very pleasant first time sexual experience I would say for you....you may resent your boyfriend for convincing you to do this...
Virginity is sort of a religous thing as well, I think it is rather Victorian, but I also think losing your virginity should be at a very adult age in the context of a loving committed relationship, not necessarily marriage, so ask yourself this, why is keeping your virginity important to you? That is the question you need to answer for yourself first.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): This question just makes me sad, you say my man and I want to make love......
I don't want to lose my virginity yet
My boyfriend has convinced me that we can have anal sex and I will still be a virgin.
First off, if you want to make love, then make love, have vaginal intercourse and all that goes with it, that is making love.
Secondly, being a virgin would indicate that your hymen is not broken, but the broken hymen does not make you a non virgin....I was a virgin the first time I had sex, but my hymen was already broken possibly due to a childhood treatment for a yeast infection, or could be because I rode horses, not really sure, but I was a virgin the first time I had sex.
Thirdly, you boyfriend is not being very loving towards you to convince you of anything concerning sex and your own body.....and to make you think that for his pleasure you ought to give it up anally....that is not making love in my estimation.
Are you sure this boyfriend really loves you?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): Anal SEX. The sex bit implies you lose your virginity. Lol.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): In gods eyes, anal sex is worse than vaginal sex before marriage, because its not natural and its not meant to be, or thats what my religious friends believe.
In my eyes, its worse because it hurts like hell, and its not natural and its gross and not loving and sensual at all, but really degrading.
And from a legal perspective sex is " the pnetration of the vagina, mouth or anus with a penis" so, really, no youre not a virgin if you have anal sex, sorry!!
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A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (6 March 2008):
 I class anal sex, as sex. If your age right, then you should know this. If your boyfreind can't wait then maybe it's time to end the relationship? and you won't enjoy the anal sex either
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): Yes, but why cant you wait? what is the hurry? Anal sex is not for everyone and you may find you hate it, then what?
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (6 March 2008):
 HEY!!
Yes your hymen will be still intact as that will only be broken through vaginal sex. But in most minds, anal sex is still classified as sex..
Feel free to mail me at any time x x x
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A
female
reader, red1982 +, writes (6 March 2008):
First I would like to ask you why you don't feel ready to lose your virginity.
If you have anal sex then your hymen would still be intact, but in your mind (and to most other people's minds) you would not still be a virgin. And I would imagine that it causes the same emotional turmoil as losing your virginity vaginally. Penetration is penetration at the end of the day whatever officice it is.
Anal sex is a far bigger step then losing your virginity, it is far more painful and only pleasurable if you have complete trust in your partner to do exacly as you ask so that it is not too painful. That means that they have to listen and do what you ask of them, and you have to be confident enough to tell them what to do and how to do it.
If you do not feel ready to lose your virginity then your boyfriend will have to wait.
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (6 March 2008):
 yes. your vaginal virginity will still be intact.however your sphincter well be far for virginal.#1 don't let him pressure you into it if you don't want it.#2 its gonna get Really stinky and messy.and for the love of god and all that is holy use a gallon or 2 of lube and brace for the G's.
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A
female
reader, nicola_r +, writes (6 March 2008):
It depends what you think virginity is. having anal sex is still having sex and it's not a very pleasant experience for all females either. It can be painful and not pleasurable at all. If your man loves you he'll be prepared to wait and not be selfish by pressuring you into anal sex
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