A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I think i know the answer to this but would love some advice anyway.Ive been friends on facebook with this guy for a while, i actually went to juniour school wkth him. Hes actually now a minor celebrity- he has his own television series. Thats not why i like him- i have liked him for a long time.He is very handsome and outgoing and charming.I would actually probably prefer if he wasnt on television.Anyway, i recently asked if he would like to go for a coffee. He said he would love to. I felt that the date went really really well. However, i text first after the date. He responded saying hed had a great time.that was that.A week later he drove 2 hours to see me and took me out for a drink. We had a great time again, he went to drop me off at home and we kissed for the first time. We are both going abroad for the next 3 months so i know i wont see him, so i said, lets go for a drive and kiss more. We ended up doing things (didnt have full sex) he dropped me at home. I text first again saying thanks for a great night... he replied saying ' i very much enjoyed it...to be continued..x" now i cant get him out of my head. The thing is we are both busy for thr next 3 months. Hes 35, im 28. Im sure he gets a LOT of female attention. But i thought he must have liked me to drive 2 hours? On the otherhand he hasnt text me at all since. He is very busy with work etc, but i guess the question is, if he did like me would he be texting me more? Is it because we are both going away for 3 months? I literally cant get him out of my head :(ICmwyc
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2017): You can't judge people or their feelings by the number of times they text you. A psycho might text you 100 times or more a day; just because they have a lot of time on their hands. Or, they're totally obsessed!
You're casually-dating. Sex doesn't obligate anyone to care for you; and it will complicate things if it comes into the picture too soon.
Don't allow yourself to become too quickly attached. Which is usually fueled by loneliness, or rushed by desperation. Take it easy!
He might be quite fond of you; but you can't use sex as an incentive. Nor should you let your crush on him prematurely turn a couple of dates into a relationship. The length of a drive shows effort, but it doesn't prove anything.
Stay fully-aware that he may be showing fake-interest or being polite; only because he thinks sex is available in exchange for his attention.
Your timing comes after you both had previously-scheduled travel; so you might not hear from him that much. It was all planned before you met. He may have other interests pending; and you came along unexpectedly.
For now, no sex. Not even close. If he voluntarily contacts you during your travels; then that is demonstration he doesn't want to lose your interest. If he calls, that's a good sign. He actually wants to hear your voice, and doesn't want to lose touch. Don't sit around waiting, or shooting him streams of messages to provoke responses.
You should expect actual calls, not two or three-word phrases followed by stupid emojis; just to keep your engine running.
If you want to scare a guy off, show him you're too eager for a relationship. Not that he doesn't want one too; but it shows you have little control of your feelings. Falling too soon or infatuation, is a sign that a person may be driven recklessly by their impulses and over-taken by neediness.
You have to suppress it so it isn't too obvious. Players look for these weaknesses in women.
If a guy's not that into you, your eagerness is of no consequence anyway.
Feelings shouldn't attach until you know who you like so much, and why. Good-looks automatically catch attention; but you have to wait to see what a person is really like, and reciprocates the feelings you have for them. Like you said, he is used to fans. Don't be treated like one.
!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (20 June 2017):
 Personally, I'd say people are getting more dating inept as they rely way too much on tech to keep in touch. I'd say he would want to CALL you to hear your voice if he was really keen on you - but... I'm old fashioned.
If I were you I'd stop pursuing him, pull back and see what happens. LIVE life, BE busy. If he wants you in his life he WILL find a way.
From what you write I wouldn't guess he was overly into you. However, it could also be that he IS used to women "throwing" themselves at him because of his work and he isn't 100% sure if you are into him or him because he is an actor.
Also, I'd like to point out that saying to "wish" he wasn't on TV seems a bit ridiculous because THAT is obviously something he has WORKED for and WANTS/LOVES to do, it's part of WHO he is - so maybe if that is a thing you don't like he isn't for you? Like saying I really like this guy but he is an accountant! I wish he wasn't... Not realistic. The accountant has chosen that path for whatever reason and shouldn't change it for a potential woman/partner. Same goes for an actor. If the possibility of him making it BIG is something you don't like, skip him before you get more involved.
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