A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm 14 and I have one of those boyfriends that everyone says is a 'great guy'. And he is. He's generous, good-looking, absolutely adores me and has never betrayed my trust and I don't think ever wants to. I lost my virginity to him at 13 and we've been dating for seven months. I know that many people say that it is impossible to have a proper relationship at my age but I think it really depends and I would say that I love him (not IN love but LOVE). But I'd been feeling a little iffy about our relationship when this other guy came along. He's 19 and a lot more experienced in sex and life but all the same, he's really into me. He's much more of a bad boy - gets into loads of fights and has loads of sex but he is really nice and honest and everything feels really natural with him. Plus he has possibly the fittest body. He excites me and I certainly excite him and it took literally seconds on our third meeting for my top and bra to be off, my nipple to be in his mouth and our hands down each others pants. He knows exactly how to turn me on and because of his experience, he is really in control and sexy around me when I am usually the one in control in the bedroom with the boyfriend. But this boy has only ever had 2 girlfriends, he's not really boyfriend material, more of a 'f***buddy' and I know that I would really miss having someone who is all mine. Everything about this new guy is exciting and passionate but I know that even though I am being an adulterous bitch I will never have sex with him while in a relationship with someone else. Although I'm not sure how I can be sure of this since I have never felt so horny around one individual.But I really don't want to have to miss out on sex with him. So maybe I should split up with the boyfriend... But I do still really care about him and I know that I have the power to hurt him very badly (he confessed to me once post-sex that I was the only one who could ever really hurt him). They are both what I want - a stable, loving, gentle but slightly dangerous relationship and a fast moving, urgent, illicit, exciting affair. Do I have to give either one of them up?
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affair, bra , his ex, horny, lost my virginity, split up Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Mugzie69  +, writes (14 September 2010):
 I may be wrong about this, but those instructed in literary form and textual criticism will not be convinced that you are 14. What can I say?
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (13 September 2010):
 My oh my. At fourteen I didn't even know what a fuckbuddy was. How times have changed, I guess us agony aunts and uncles will have to accept that teens are more and more sexually charged these days, just hard to digest.
Yes, because at 14 you have vast experience in relationship. Darling you can't even drive yet, so how are you going to even go on a proper date? Mummy chauffeuring you around doesn't count. It takes years to learn what love really is, you've got a long way to go.
Let's weigh your options, like everyone has stated you are underage and if you engage in sexual acts with the 19 year old he will wind up in jail with statutory rape charges. What does a 19 year old want with a 14 year old? Easy sex. Now, you have your boyfriend who sounds promising although your much too young to engage in sex but you can't take that back. So your best option and legal one at that is to keep the young man you have and keep a lid on those hormones!
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A
female
reader, ShortNBlonde_25 +, writes (13 September 2010):
Stick with the one you have. The older one will just get you in trouble... And..It is very hard to find a guy that you can trust. Who cares about all that ****buddy stuff? It is #1 top priority to have a loving trusting boyfriend. Just because he is 19 doesnt make him "older" in live. 19 is your true party stage! So he will be the one breaking your heart. Then what are u stuck with? U have someone who loved you and YOU betrayed their trust. C'mon girl especially if they are good looking and care about you, and would never do anthing to hurt you. That's young to do that, but his momma taught him well. To treat girls with such respect. I know it's fun to have sex...especially with someone that is good that turns you on... but Take it from me.... Guys can tell u the world to lead u to believe that they are not a dog when they really are. But then again the sweet one's are too "weak" I know i was in your shoes.... and i chose the older sex freak... now to this day I'm still going through problems.... I'm engaged and just put a post up that I'm not getting attention anymore. Wich really sucks because i am a great pretty girl. Just take it from me....stick with the one who will always be there for you and love you.
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A
female
reader, ailemaaax  +, writes (12 September 2010):
This is a track you do not want to go down.
When I was 16 (not sure about you guys but that's the legal age here) I was in a relationship with a GREAT guy. Not really serious, obviously because we were so young, but he made me very happy and he was my best friend.
Then, one night I got really drunk at a party and went for "the older bad-boy", a 21 year old guy, experienced, totally into me, good-looking and 'dangerous'. The drunk idiot I was, I slept with him, and it just so happened that my whole year found out.
Although it was just one night, the worst night of my life, for the rest of my highschool years I never lived down that reputation as "easy" and "a slut". I lost my boyfriend, my friends disowned me and I sank into depression.
STOP what you are doing right now and THINK. The fact that you cannot control your urges is the reason that it is illegal for people your age to have sex in most nations. You do NOT want to end up with the reputation you are heading towards, trust me. It believe that what I did completely ruined my teenage/highschool years, and I will never get them back, and to people from my old highschool, I will always be "that cheating slut". Its amazing how much your future relationships can even be affected. What nice guy is going to take you seriously, when you're 20-21, looking for a stable relationship, when he finds out you were slutting around at 13?
Stop now, and maybe you can spare yourself some dignity. Cut ties with the older boy -- save ruining his life if you parents find out and he gets a criminal record for statutory rape. To be honest, I'd break up with the sweet boyfriend too. I honestly don't know how you can look him in the eyes and still pretend to be all loving and devoted to him after what you've done, but I guess that's just more indication of your emotional immaturity -- an inability to recognize guilt and the fact that you are really hurting somebody who cares a lot about you
"Do I have to give either one of them up?" -- this sentence indicates that you came on here asking for somebody to tell you that what you're doing is okay, and make you feel better about being an "adulterous bitch". It's not okay, no matter what your age is. I agree with mizz.butterflies. See the movie (although I believe it is THIRTEEN). It pretty much embodies what your life could turn into if you keep going down this track.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (12 September 2010):
 Oh dear... You know so much about love, and love caused you to have illegal sex at 13. Now you are bored, not even legal yet and your looking for someone different to have sex with. True love to you last about 7months. Now you want to go out with a older thug, who chances going to jail if he touches you. He has loads of sex, so he might even have an STD to provide you with something exciting. You only need to see a guy three times or more and your ready to open your legs and do the sex thing. I'm surprised you remained a virgin until you was 13.
Fuck buddy... mmmm.. ok... I understand, you are horny, you hate to miss out on sex with him.. it won't last, you get bored easily and worry about missing out on sex with someone else. Yep, you will eventually pick up a nasty disease to go with the nasty reputation you are building or yourself.
You don't realise how cheap and tacky you sound. Dosen't matter, you'll realise by the time your 16 and can't find a guy to date you or take you seriously. They have names for girls like you and it usually starts with "easy".
I think you should give them both up and stop having illegal sex and act like a normal 13year old. But what do I know.
Your life, your choices, please use condoms, I'm frightened that you are a HIV/Aids magnet, since you like sex so often and so much.
We don't often see teenagers nymphomaniacs, they are very rare, but you are definitely one, and you started very early. Start thinking about getting a regular cervical exam, your more at risk from cervical cancer. And watch yourself with the kissing and oral sex, your in danger of getting lifetime herpes as you go from man to man.
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A
female
reader, blahblahblahh +, writes (12 September 2010):
 Christ girl you are fourteen. I think you need to sit back a while and calm down. Your teenage hormones are everywhere at such a young age. You are far too young to be doing any of these things. You are being very very unfair to your boyfriend, but I feel the main point here is your age. You're acting upon your teenage sexual fantasies when you should still be having fun being a child.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (12 September 2010):
 you're too young to get into such a mess.perhaps u should watch the movie FOURTEEN. very helpful. u need to realize school is way more important at this time and relationships will not get u anywhere. its cool if u wanna have a very close guy friend who will be your "boyfriend" but u need to stop worrying about guys. when i was ur age i didnt have a boyfriend and now i dont know who to pick. dont think just because u dont start young you will feel inexperienced later.
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A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell +, writes (12 September 2010):
 Yes, as Jmtmj says, you do. It's not fair to your boyfriend to have gotten yourself into this position in the first place! You're FOURTEEN and already some guy you met a few times has his hands down your pants?? I know you're experiencing strong urges to be intimate with guys, we've all been there, but you have to learn to control yourself! You're attracted to the "bad boy" image because there's a sense of danger and adventure there, but you can only end up getting hurt. You said it yourself, he gets into fights, he's a lot older, and he goes around having lots of sex, yet he doesn't have a girlfriend? What makes you think you'll be any different to him than the other, older and probably more experienced girls he may or may not be seeing as well as he's groping you? Nine times out of ten the same thing happens, the good guy gets screwed over, the girl goes with the bad boy, he has sex with her and then dumps her and everyone gets hurt. Break the cycle and stick with your boyfriend, someone you can trust.
What would your parents say if they knew what their 14 year-old daughter had been doing with a 19 year old? He's over 16 and you're not, couldn't they press charges against him if they wanted to?
Why not talk to your boyfriend and try to make things more exciting between you. Go out and try new things together, (activites not just sex), be friends as well as boyfriend and girlfriend. To be completely honest, you've treated your boyfriend pretty crap so far, so if you're going to sell yourself short and go for the new guy, at least be honest and tell him why. Though why you'd want to get rid of a guy that adores you and that you love for a risky relationship that probably won't work out is beyond me.
And if you do pick the "bad boy" please use protection, you're too young to be having sex legally anyway, but if you're going to break the law at least be safe. If he's going around having lots of sex who knows what you could catch from him!
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (12 September 2010):
 Yeh, you do... unless you want to continue being, as you said, an "adulterous bitch".
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