A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a question as to what to do with or i guess i should say how to handle a situation that has come up in my relationship.The basics, i met her 6 months ago and it has been the best 6 months of my life, i love her more than i thought i could love someone. She has a 5 year son also(father not in the picture/criminal). I am 29, she is 26.Ok now the jist of my problem. We recently started discussing our future more seriously and i would marry her right now and try to be the best father i could to her son, however she is finishing up college and i am in no way in a position to support us as a family right now. I am worried that she thinks i wont be able to provide for us when we do get married and move in together because of multiple reasons.1) I had to have my name put on the mortgage of my moms house so its extremely difficult to get another one because i dont make alot of money.I like my job but its not going to be enough to support us.2) i have bad credit also due to my immaturity when i was 18 i.e. credit card debtShe knows my situation and i have not held anything back at all, i just dont know what to do. I think about this all the time, about getting a second job, somehow making it work. I try to tell her this but it just seems it doesnt help. any advice would greatly be appreciated!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): No, i did not want to garner sympathy, i just wanted to let her know what was going on with me at the start instead of having to explain later in the relationship. Thanks for the reply.
A
female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (3 June 2010):
 Ok - you have both had a tough row to hoe. Good for her for finishing up college and with a 5 year old! You seem like a sincere guy to me AND you have been honest - that is the biggest mother of them all - not kidding. You were and are honest with her -- not to garner sympathy - right? - but just to tell the truth. Keep doing that AND get that second job. What is stopping you? You may want to try credit relief or counseling as well. If you want her and to be a dad to that kid - then that is what you have to do. Ok?
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