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I think my parents are treating me unfairly for shoplifting

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 August 2019) 11 Answers - (Newest, 19 August 2019)
A female United Kingdom age 18-21, *oolkelly1234 writes:

do you think I desrve to be punished this severely for shoplifting ? 3 days ago I got caught shoplifting,as the shopkeeper knows my mum he called her instead of the police he told her he expected me to be punished, my mum promished the shopkeeper I would pay for my crime with punishment,my parents said they don't want me to go to jail for they are going to make my punishment as close to prison life as possible its HORRIBLE, I have been sentenced to 5 days imprisonment, I will be confined to my room and my bedroom door will be locked with a key at ALL times,my prison day.

7am up in the shower and dressed ( school shirt and navy skirt )

730am breakfast in room then LOCKED IN

12am unlocked for half an hours exercise in the garden

1230 pm LOCKED UP BACK IN MY BEDROOM

1 pm lunch in room

after lunch PUNISHMENT ESSAYS I have to write two 4 page essays per day, tomorrows essays are WHY ITS WRONG TO STEAL and another essay on UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVOUIR AND PUNISHMENTS,

5 pm dinner in room

530pm LOCKED IN BEDROOM FOR THE NIGHT,

9pm lights out and bed,

PRISON RULES,

no tv, no phone, no stereo, no pc no entertainment of anykind,

I am NOT allowed to wear my own clothes I have to wear my school clothes, white school shirt and navy skirt,

if I need the bathroom I am escorted there and back then LOCKED back in, when confined to my room my bedroom door will remain locked with a key at ALL times,

privileges I am allowed 2 hours per day on the internet subject to behaviour, that's why I am it now,

my parents have sentenced me to 7 days lockdown punishment, but said it could be cut to 5 if I behave well and do my essays properly, I have only just been locked in and I am REALLY miserable its the school holidays and all my friends are out having fun while I am SHUT away in my room

View related questions: escort, navy, the internet

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A female reader, KeW United Kingdom +, writes (19 August 2019):

KeW agony auntHello Kelly.

I understand that you are bored this summer, like last summer, but this is wasting nice people’s time. We all volunteer for this and aren’t for entertainment.

If you genuinely have shoplifted, do your time and don’t do it again. It’s taking money right out of the shop employee/owner’s pocket. Next time, you’d deserve community service and a fine that you’d have to work to pay off because you’re old enough to know better.

However, as you posted about this “prison” last year too, perhaps you should join a creative writing class or volunteer to help people/animals. Whether you are a teenager or older, you can do better things with your time than this.

Please don’t shoplift or waste kind people’s time.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (18 August 2019):

Honeypie agony auntJust block the posts? Obviously not written my a 23 year old in need of advice...

Mods?

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom +, writes (18 August 2019):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntI think you should find yourself something better to do than sending in the same silly posts.

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/are-my-parents-right-to-punish-me-with.html

Nobody is amused and nobody believes you. You are just being tiresome.

Go away.

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A female reader, koolkelly1234 United Kingdom +, writes (17 August 2019):

koolkelly1234 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i have spent all of today Saturday LOCKED UP in my bedroom, it has been VERY VERY boring and miserable, today has been warm and sunny and I have been shut away in my room while my friends are out having fun, I have completed two 4 page punishment essays, for this reason I am allowed 2 hours on the internet as a privilege, in an hours time LIGHTS OUT and bed, tomorrow I will spend locked in my room and have to copy out the punishment essays, I have to serve a full week of this home prison and I HATE IT do you really think I should have to suffer being punished like this ?

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (17 August 2019):

CindyCares agony aunt I had just the same feeling as YCBS , but I was too lazy to do the search, lol. Nothing like a little masochistic fantasy about chastisement to spice up a boring summer, right ? ...And let's hope that at least you ARE a young teenager. Because every now and then we get posts about super stern parents and humiliating punishments etc... , which , to me at least, sound definitely like written by adult trolls- which is so, so creepy !

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A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (17 August 2019):

You’re supposed to feel miserable. That’s why it’s a punishment. It’s also supposed to give you time to reflect on your actions.

Shoplifting is not a victimless crime. When you steal, you are not just stealing an item you want. You are stealing money too – the money that the shopkeeper would have made if that item were purchased honestly. You may as well have gone into the shopkeeper’s bag or draws and pinched the cash. That’s why your parents want you to write essays on why you shouldn’t do it. They want you to think about how your actions can harm other people and make them feel.

You didn’t think of the suffering that you might be causing the shopkeeper, from the potential los of money to the stress of having to take time out to call your mum and deal with your actions. You just took something because you wanted it. You didn’t think either about how disappointed and upset your parents would feel either, or if you did, you didn’t care enough to let it stop you doing the wrong thing.

IT’s only 5 days. It’s going to be miserable, boring and difficult. What I would say to you is not to waste this time. You could act like a sulky kid and complain about how harsh it is, or you could accept that you did wrong and are getting punished for it. You could use this time to really think about the impact of your actions on other people, and why we all have to obey certain laws and live by certain moral principles, including not taking what’s not rightfully ours. Your parents don’t want you to suffer. I’m sure they are taking no pleasure in this at all, but they want you to learn that all actions have consequences. You could make them proud again by willingly accepting your punishment, doing what you’ve been asked and perhaps offering to write a proper apology to the shopkeeper.

Everyone makes mistakes. What matters is whether we learn from them and how we put them right. Do your time, say you’re sorry and make amends.

I wish you all the very best.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom +, writes (17 August 2019):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntI had a feeling I had read your post before so did a quick search and guess what? Virtually identical post LAST summer holidays.

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/are-my-parents-right-to-punish-me-with.html

If you are bored during your holidays, perhaps you could volunteer at a local charity or get a part time job, rather than posting silly posts on forums?

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom +, writes (17 August 2019):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntWhat fantastic parents you have. If only more parents loved their children enough to take this "tough love" approach, we would not be seeing reports of feral youths running wild and terrorizing communities. Every respect to your parents.

As for you "Kool Kelly", shoplifting is NOT cool. WHY were you shoplifting? Because you CAN? Because your friends also do? Because you were dared? I understand the strength of pier pressure but, honestly sweetheart, your friends will not be there to look after you when you get locked up for real. REAL "cool" is being able to say "no" to your friends and knowing what is right and wrong and acting accordingly.

To be honest, I think your parents have been far too easy on you (possibly because this is your first offence). If you were MY daughter, you would have bee on lock-down for the rest of the holidays and you would most certainly not be getting unsupervised access to the internet. Count yourself lucky.

Nowhere in your post do I see a shred of remorse or regret. You need to think about your behaviour before you get a shopkeeper who DOES call the police. Have you apologized to your parents for putting them through this shame? Have you apologized to the shop keeper and thanked him for not calling the police? Both things would be a great way to show your parents they are raising a daughter who has just temporarily lost her way and who is not going to turn into a career criminal and a drain on tax payers' money.

Grow up, young lady. Accept your punishment with good grace. You were caught committing a CRIME. A criminal record will make it so much more difficult for you to get a decent job in the future. Is that what you want?

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (17 August 2019):

Ivyblue agony aunt I really enjoyed reading this post. Are you kidding? Nobody likes a thief. Consider yourself extremely lucky. If you hate it so much perhaps its time you thought about just what its like in juvenile detention- FOR REAL- ya know the place where not only do you get locked up, have rules but also get picked on or beaten up by other girls. Your parents are fantastic in their approach and so is the store owner for choosing to take the path of your parents and not the police. You may not realised it because you are acting like an entitled princess but your parents LOVE you very much. Should be more parents just like yours. Instead of whinging maybe give them a hug for which they both deserve and say thank you.

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (17 August 2019):

Ivyblue agony aunt I really enjoyed reading this post. Are you kidding? Nobody likes a thief. Consider yourself extremely lucky. If you hate it so much perhaps its time you thought about just what its like in juvenile detention- FOR REAL- ya know the place where not only do you get locked up, have rules but also get picked on or beaten up by other girls. Your parents are fantastic in their approach and so is the store owner for choosing to take the path of your parents and not the police. You may not realised it because you are acting like an entitled princess but your parents LOVE you very much. Should be more parents just like yours. Instead of whinging maybe give them a hug for which they both deserve and say thank you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (17 August 2019):

Honeypie agony auntWell, the answer is easy.

Don't do CRIME if you can't do the time.

Yes, I think it's MORE than fair punishment. I mean since when is stealing OK? And how stupid are you to STEAL from someone who is a family friend and expect to get away with it?

Shame on you.

I hope this will TEACH you a lesson that shoplifting isn't OK EVER.

You want stuff? Get a part time job or do extra chores for extra money, save up and BUY what you you would like.

YOU are the reason other DECENT folks have to pay extra.

Time to grow up.!

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