A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello there,just need some maybe little advice or i dont know what others can call it. Here is the fact.I am asian and i was a singer. I am a singer. Thats my job since im 16. I did it for my living. Im not really that star, im just ordinary musician like singing in a hotel like sheraton, holiday inn, guesting some private parties, home and abroads etc. etc., That is my profession and i did it really professionaly. I was in orchestra, band, show, lightnings etc. What i mean is, i am used to people claps,lightnings, attention etc. But i never brag. I stay on my low profile and be simple as i am. The thing is. When i got married, i was force to stop. I am not really that mad. i start singing when i was young until i am 39. When i work in hotel i sing every night straight 18 years without any break except 4 days off in a month because i am under contract. So singing straight in that long years made me used to it. and its not easy for me to stop. When my husband told me to stop, i stop after 4 years of him trying to convince me. Im fine, i just think maybe its time for me also to relax. I experienced depression, sadness etc. and its really hard. i move to the country of my husband which is here in europe. Its a big adjustment for me. People from the same country were i was asking me what is my job before and when i told them they criticize me instantly and make a gossip out of me. They want me to prove it them. I dont understand. I just want a friend because i have no friends here at all i am so new here but they just laugh at me. i am trying to over come it. but its not easy. I miss working, but i dont know how to start. singing here in my new place is not that easy at all. company prepare a people to work in their kitchen, toilets etc. i dont mind the job but im not use to, i just need understanding. Im some kind of sad now, here is so cold, no friends, its totally opposite to where i am before and i need some advice from you guys thank you Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Corantien  +, writes (26 December 2012):
I was bullied a lot in school and I had no friends. I started writing letters to penpals I found on the internet. It helped me overcome my social fears. Talk with your husband and show him that you need a little help in the social department. Your life feels hard now, but it will get better. You just have to have patience and a good communication working. I think you're a great guy and I really admire your strength to move to a different country and give up your job. Never give up your music! You'll propably have to do things you don't like, but they will never take the music away from you. And when other people are mean to you, it's just because their jealous or they're just bad people who need to make other people look bad so nobody will notice that the real bad people is them. Keep that chin up!
A
female
reader, Lynlan.nhi  +, writes (26 December 2012):
I will not tell you "love conquers all". But you must really love your husband to give up to your passion. I don't know how passionate you are with music. But to stay with it for 20-some years, you are amazing. Anyway...finding friends is actually hard. It's easy to meet people and have acquaintanceship but to have a true friend, it takes time. You shouldn't waste your effort and energy with people who would judge you because of your past. If you are singer, you can't stop singing. It's a talent and a gift. If you're feeling foreign and alone. Talk to your husband, have him take the time to take you places. Meet his friends...and their wives. Go back to school and further your music interest or find another interest that you've always wished you'll learn, perhaps you can achieve something you've never expected. And no, i don't believe education has an age limit. If school isn't right then libraries, community centers. Find a job at a music stores. ect. Don't be sad.
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