A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I were together five years, living together for three of those years. He broke up with me four months ago! I still love him and I can't move on. In my heart I think he does still love me but I think he is happier single. When we meet he is unable look me the eye, and I feel this is because he still cares. We do keep in contact via text message, and he often still refers to me using pet names and signing off with kisses. A few weeks back, we kissed. We spoke of getting back and sorting everything out. It was great, although it felt like nothing bad had ever happened and we had never split up. The next day he rang and said he is still uncertain bout our future and worried that the same thing would happen all over again. I know in my heart that we're meant to be together.It's so hard because we're getting on so well as friends. Do you think there is a chance he still loves me?? Will we get back?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): You ask if he still loves you and will you get back together, well, he still has feelings for you, but no, its seems unlikely you'll get back together. You were together for a good while so it is only natural that both of you are finding it hard to move on. I would talk to him and make it clear that you can't take any suggestions that you might get back together if, in fact, its over. It's cruel to keep you hoping. If this is the case you need to try and see as little of him as possible, so you can come to terms with things. Do not contact him, and yes even avoid him until you are stronger emotionally.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): "Do you think there is a chance he still loves me?"
Yes but not in the way you want.
"Will we get back?"
Maybe but you'd just break up again.
"I know in my heart that we're meant to be together."
Well stop thinking with your heart then because it's wrong. Start thinking with your head. If you were meant to be together you wouldn't have broken up in the first place.
"The next day he rang and said he is still uncertain bout our future and worried that the same thing would happen all over again" You should listen to him he's right. He broke up with you, he knows the reasons he broke up with you are still valid so while he may still have feelings for you he knows he can't get back together with you. You getting together recently was just his old feelings messing with his head.
"It was great, although it felt like nothing bad had ever happened and we had never split up." Well it did happen and what you were feeling was just an illusion, the hope that you could be together again.
"It's so hard because we're getting on so well as friends"
Yes getting on well as friends but not lovers. Look your not going to get over him while you two are still friends. A five year relationship is exceptionally tough to get over, magnify that by 100 if you still love the person and by 1000 if you're still friends.
As long as remain in contact with him you will feel this way, you will not move on because you won't be able to and while you don't want to because you want him back. He doesn't want that. He's tried and realized it's not going to work.
I would give you advice but you won't listen nor do it, so I'll just wish you luck. It's going to be a long hard road for you of misery and false hope, you might try again and it will fail again, you'll probably kiss again and talk about getting back together again but ti's juts not going to work. All the while you'll be still friends and you'll still be pining for a guy you can't have. Until eventually he finds another girl and you'll be crushed.
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