A
male
age
41-50,
*ooldude1
writes:I'm married and I have a baby. I'm also very happy in my marriage and my wife is good looking etc. Yes, I've gone to prostitutes for a few years now, but only to get a physical release to substitute porn. Though, in recent years I've for some reason don't find this exciting.... I find chasing a single girl and dumping her gives me an ego and especially I get my kicks. Basically, I have no interest to do anything with these women like having sex or any of that. I'll go as far as pretending to be their boyfriend and a little physical but don't really have desire to have sex with them, simply because porn has kind of messed up my ability to get excited by normal people. I just want to get women all excited and interested (eg. I act perfect, pretend I'm awesome, I buy them expensive gifts, I buy them expensive dinners, I tell them everything to make them happy and think I'm the perfect bf/husband) and when they are in love with me, I get enjoyment in dumping them or just disappearing to crush their feelings etc. Its like I get excited by seeing other women get hurt... maybe because I was embarrassingly dumped 10 years ago by my ex-gf who crushed me publicly in front of everyone. I really don't know, but I'm probably screwed up mentally from it.Do I have a serious mental issue? OR do some guys actually do this? I really want to control this and stop it, but I don't know how to without getting professional help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2012): Everyone has pretty much told it like it is....but even worse, there is a child involved...that poor child having to grow up having a father behaving like this...so incredibly sad. When your wife finds out about this, you will soon be considered a sperm donor. Please go get some professional help, you really need it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2012): You are definitely not happy in your marriage.If you were you wouldn't be going to prostitutes
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (15 May 2012):
 "I really want to control this and stop it, but I don't know how to without getting professional help."
They're called professionals for a reason. They're the best at what they do and in the best position to personally help you in whatever it is that you feel you need help with.
Pay the pro's if you actually want results.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 May 2012):
 Is this a real post?
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (15 May 2012):
 You know ultimatly that you are in a bad place, or you wouldn't have come here. What you are doing is seeking out things to boost your ego, and make you feel "bigger" than women and relationships, because of a negative experience in the past. But you know this is actually unfulfilling and destructive. What you are doing gives you a superficial high, but deep down it is killing you. You are not really happy.
Yes what you are doing is potentially harmful to these people, the women, your wife and your children, but at the end of the day, they are good people who are doing no wrong, so when and if they discover your actions and realise how you have deceived them, they will eventually get over it and come out stronger, knowing that you are in the wrong. That is what I hope for them anyway.
You are the one who is losing here. Acting like this you will lose everyone who has ever cared about you. Even if they never find out you are living a lie, that will eat you up inside. You will never be truely happy behaving like this.
Also, "normal" people, aka, not porn stars, are reality, porn is fantasy. You have confused the line if you can only become excited by porn. That is not healthy. Porn is not better than real sex. That's like saying you'd rather live in virtual reality than actually go out there and experience real emotions. That is no way to live.
I am sorry for you that you were humiliated, but you have to realize that your ex was in the wrong! You have to accept that sometimes people do hurtful things, and choose not to repeat these patterns. You have to move on or you will be a very lonely, unfulfilled man down the line. I am not thinking about the women you use for a boost, I am warning you. What you are doing will not lead to happiness for yourself. Be a better person and you will find true happiness.
Seek therapy.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot  +, writes (15 May 2012):
 "Do I have a serious mental issue? OR do some guys actually do this? "
I am not sure if this would be classified under serious mental issues, but yes, you're are rather twisted and overall a shitty person if you engage in such behavior. Do I think men do this? Yes, but it would be a small minority. Most men and women don't do what you describe. It's not the norm by any means. People may lie and deceive, but not the extent that you're taking it.
If you want to stop, then you will need professional help, unless you can stop engaging other women outside of your marriage.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2012): "Do I have a serious mental issue? OR do some guys actually do this?"
The answer to both your questions is the same, "Yes".
It is an indication of serious and underlying self worth issues. You are seeking reaffirmation of your own attractiveness, and in essence taking revenge on the innocent, in an attempt to take revenge upon those who hurt you, due to your prior humiliation.
Seek professional counseling, work to stop this, because one fine day it will lead to your own self destruction, and indeed it is self destructive behavior that causes pain to others, yet it is really and truly self destructive.
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A
female
reader, tinkxxx1 +, writes (14 May 2012):
Definitely agree you need to seek some kind of advice/therapy/doctor. And you obviously want to change else you wouldn't of posted this. If you recognize and understand what your doing is wrong, then why are you still doing them. Like other aunts have saidyou are cheating on your wife, betraying your children,hurting innocent people, risking yours and your wifes health by sleeping with prostitutes ( wich quiet frankly is disgusting as they are 9 times out 10 dirty, diseased drug addicts. Sit back and ask your self how you would feel if your lovely wife came home and told you this, told you that your not good enough so she like to sleep with other men, not just other men but dirty men, for money? how would you feel? if she found out i bet shed be disgusted. And as for seeing other women just to crush them :/ yeah thats fucked up. and using '' its happend to me'' is a bullshit excuse to back it up.How can you come home to your wife and chidlren and look them in the eyes and not feel guilty or bad about this,if your wife finds out im sure she WILL leav you,and if you dont want this to happen you need to see a doctor or psycholoigst some kind of therapy.Your poor babies, i bet your children idealise you, and imagine if this does come out and you do carry on and your wife finds out, when they are old enough to understand, they will hate you for what your doing. Seek medical help as soon as possible before you destroy your life and your families.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (14 May 2012):
 For the next scene in this movie, read about Tiger Woods.
"Do I have a serious mental issue? OR do some guys actually do this?"
Yes, and yes.
Buy some stock in companies who are working on the HIV vaccine and STD treatments. You'll be in the market for those soon, so you may as well leave something for your family.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (14 May 2012):
 Three aunts have said you need therapy...I'm going to be the fourth...
This isn't just cheating to get off, this is pre meditated destruction of other human beings for revenge!!
You need serious long term therapy, you have a serious sociopathic problem that could lead to actual bodily harm.
My sympathies to your wife.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (14 May 2012):
 There is no mention of how happy your wife is. You are happy but I am sure your wife is not. You are aware that you are different from other people but you don't really feel what you do is wrong. The first step to getting help is acknowledging what you are doing is wrong, it is hurtful, and your past, porn do not justify your actions now. You being dumped could be a reason but not a cause. We have all been dumped and if we all seek revenge what kind of world would we be in? Do you enjoy hurting your wife too?
You are a womanizer and an attention whore. You present your best self but deep down inside you don't feel worthy of anything real. You get a high from women liking you but this sensation does not last long until you get your next fix. It is addiction and you succumb to temptation to seek the next best woman because the withdrawal is so bad but you realize you want to stop it. A therapist can help you with this part.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (14 May 2012):
 Look you are doing more than simply leading women on and dumping them, you are also cheating on your wife and destroying your family. Imagine if your kids grow up oneday and find out that dad has pretend girlfriends on the side who he spends all his money on? Imagine how devastated they will be when they find out that dad is a liar and cheat, and messes around with other women. Imagine how your goodlooking wife would feel if she knew you got your sex from prostitues and spent all your time and money with other women?
I think you have a LOT of psychological issues that you need professional help with. You are destroying all the good things in your life because of your behaviour. If you are not careful you will loose your wife and children, and you will be left with nothing.
Seeing prostitutes is a massive problem and is putting your wife at risk from STD's amongst other things. Then the addiction to porn is also another problem that needs professional help. Then you have the other women on the side that you enjoy dumping - all of this adds up to one massive problem you have with sex and women. All probably stemming from your ex.
If you dont want to lose your wife and child you need to seek professional help NOW - you have a number of serious mental issues and I very much doubt there is any other men on this planet that would stoop as low as you have done.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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