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I found his latest sext offensive!

Tagged as: Dating, Long distance, Online dating, Sex, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 July 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 8 July 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *nowey55 writes:

Hi, me and my LDR boyfriend have recently started sexting which I started (weve been together 7 months and started having sex after 4). I recently received a text saying how(this has been edited) he "can't wait to p***d a vi****** into you and hear your p****y juice squelch its turning me on thinking about it"

I found this offensive what do you think?

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A female reader, meme1 United States +, writes (8 July 2012):

Just talk to him about boundaries I'm sure he'll be fine with it, if not then just stop the whole thing completely

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A female reader, BondGirl72 United States +, writes (8 July 2012):

BondGirl72 agony auntI would not tell him anything as it could discourage him from expressing himself in the future. He will wonder if everything he says to you is offensive and may hold back. I would simply turn the conversation around to what you would like him to do to you, or just end by saying "Yes, baby, I can't wait to see you!" The language he is using is just how he experiences the sex and the bottom line is he is telling you how much he wants you. As long as things stay the same in the bedroom and he is not offensive or aggressive there, sexting is just an outlet to be as dirty as you can be.

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A female reader, uroboros United Kingdom +, writes (8 July 2012):

"sexting" is ment to be dirty! if you feel uncomfortable with it tell him, but i wouldn't read too much into it if i were you, those are just words, not actions.

take care!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012):

What did you expect OP, it's sexting? It was just a graphic description of a sexual act, if it goes too far just tell him where the line is but to get offended doesn't make sense. You started this.

Just tell him to remember you're a woman not a porn star and you don't find the idea of pounding and squelching sexy. But remember he does because he's a guy and frankly squelching is one of the sensations we enjoy in sex and pounding can be fun too. Just tell him what you do and don't like to hear but this can't all be on your terms either, sexting is a means of mutually getting off on dirty texts. It gets pretty boring after a while if it's only a means for you to fulfil your fantasies of being caressed with a rose and kissing your neck, he likes the sounds, smells and feeling of the act itself. Try and find a middle ground, I never use crass language or describe the sights and sounds of pounding my girlfriend because that doesn't turn her on, but she does describe those things for me because those are the things that turn me on. If you can't find a middle ground and get offended by the idea that he enjoys different things abut sex than you do then stop doing it.

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A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (8 July 2012):

It is a very dirty text, that’s for sure. But then isn’t that the point of “sexting?” You text explicit comments to turn each other on. Explain to him that you didn’t like the graphic nature of that particular text. Like real sex, there are no set rules about what is and isn’t acceptable, the boundaries are discussed between the couple. So it should be with your sexts: if you like something, give each other encouragement to do it more, if not, just say so. Alternatively, if you think this is going to make things too complicated, stop the sexting altogether, and accept that it’s something you experimented with but it didn’t work out for you as a couple.

I wish you all the very best.

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A female reader, Battista United Kingdom +, writes (8 July 2012):

Well, it depends on what the rest of them are like. Is this particularly different from the other ones?

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