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I felt an attraction, but he was just leading me on

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 September 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 3 September 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

This may sound really silly but i like the guy so much I have to ask. I met a really beautiful guy, James, while out the other night, and saw him again another night. He seemed really pleased to see me again and ran up hugging me. We got on so well had so much in common and were together all night laughing and dancing. He kept saying I was beautiful and he wanted to get to know me and was being really genuine. My exs friend, who was at the club, tried to stir up trouble by telling James I was a slut and James told me what he had said. I was a bit upset, he said "well if its true I'll still like you and if it's not i'll like you even more." I said " When you get to know me you'll see it's not true." It was all fine but as I was upset I went off into the bathroom of the club. When I came out he was dancing close with some other girl. Everytime he came over to me I was saying I wasnt interested and walking away, pissed off but he kept following. He rang me when I got in saying sorry and he's serious about us, explaining the connection between us I also felt and that he's spent the last hour looking for me and saying how much he liked me to his friend and would i like to go out on a date with him on tuesday? I said yes. We spoke the next day (sunday) and it was all good. Then two days later on Tuesday he never called me, I called him later on asking if he still wanted to go out. There were lots of people in the back ground and he went "No Im busy, Im busy." Sounding quite rude. I said "Dont be like that with me, if your not interested say so don't act like you are." Then he said "Nah im not interested at all Iv got a girlfriend." I dont know what could have happened within that one day to make him change so much? Surely if he had a girlfriend he wouldnt have led me on in the first place. Either he didnt like what that nasty boy said about me or he had a girlfriend all along and suddenly felt guilty?I dont know what could have happened. I wouldnt be wondering about it but I havnt felt an attraction or connection with someone that strong in years it felt so right. Any ideas?

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A female reader, Phoebe Halliwell United Kingdom +, writes (3 September 2010):

Phoebe Halliwell agony auntThe guy's an idiot. He was probably playing with you from the beginning to show off to his friends that he can get any girl he wants to. He may have been beautiful, but he's no good for you! Find someone who makes you happy, not the idiot with a girlfriend who treats you with disrespect. Have to feel sorry for his girlfriend a bit though don't you? Being with a guy like that? As soon as you turned around he was wrapped around another girl, and you guys weren't even a couple! Poor girlfriend.

I have a guy like that, beautiful, and the connection was amazing, such a strong pulling energy. He told me I was beautiful. When his friends weren't around he'd say the sweetest things and make me feel so special. Turned out he didn't even like me that way and was keeping me hanging on as a last resort! (and to make himself feel good, 'I can't be that bad-looking because I've got this girl who still wants to be with me' etc)

Move on, forget about him. He's an idiot and you deserve better! xxx

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