A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my bf for 2 years. Lately, as in the last year I have felt distant from him, and it gets worse everyday. When I try to sit down and talk to him he either gets mad and says he hears it all the time or he'll laugh and say he's tired and doesn't feel like talking since he does all day at work. I told him I feel completely distant from him and he says how when I see him everyday. He gets annoyed at anything I say... We see each other less and less everyday cause he works a lot but when I tell him I miss him or don't get to see him as much he just laughs. I know that's he's cheating on me, not physically but definitely emotionally because I snooped and seen texts to unregistered numbers 2 or 3 of them where he texts them good morning sweetie but doesn't have time to text me in the morning? I ask him if he wants to break up he says no because he loves me, when I told him that I don't I'm in love anymore he looked like he was going to cry and told him I hurt his feelings. I honestly don't understand him. He doesn't want to listen to me speak, we have no intimacy, I'm lucky if he even gives me a kiss. He denies talking to other girls but his phone is glued to him. But yet he wants to be with me and he "loves me?". If I bring anything up at all about the relationship he tells me all I do is complain and then threatens me by saying that I won't be seeing him at all if I keep it up. I don't know what I can do, say to him anymore. I've never been more hurt or confused and I just go on day to day. It's like he's my friend not boyfriend :(. How can I get him to listen and want to talk things out?
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female
reader, raschica  +, writes (20 December 2011):
I totally agree with iAmHereToHelpYou. What is he doing texting other women? You need to move on. Stop wasting your time with someone who clearly doesn't respect you.
A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (20 December 2011):
I'm sorry to say this, but your relationship is abusive. Maybe not in the physical sense, but when he refuses to speak to you while texting sweet messages to other girls, and threatens to leave if you do so much as ask him to talk about your relationship, that's emotional abuse.
It seems that the relationship isn't really worth salvaging either; I honestly can't grasp why you haven't left him altogether. He's emotionally cheating on you, laughs at you or threatens you with leaving when you bring up concerns, and rarely even hugs or kisses you. You should be gone.
That's the only thing I think I can recommend; leave. He seems to be unwilling to talk or reason, and he doesn't seem to care. I honestly don't think he deserves much of an explanation either.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011): You are dating a possible narcissist/serial cheater/charmer.You are the only one in your relationship that upholds monogamy, faithfulness, and knows what it is to be honest, fair, loving.That you remain loyal to a man that doesn't listen to you, doesn't validate you, and then doesn't even spend time with you and laughs off your concerns and woes- he only does this because you STAY and ALLOW him to do so.He only wants to use your attention and affection when he wants. This is NOT a loving, healthy dynamic. This is what narcissistic people do. They use people. They cheat. He is NOT a Healthy Person so STOP expecting him to see reason let alone start living honestly. He's incapable of it. He would need to admit he has a problem, serial cheating/addict. THEN he would have to seek counselling and STAY in counselling. Which most narcissists dont do, especially if they cannot charm over the Therapist.I say get yourself to a COUNSELLOR immediately to assess why you would invest another moment in this neglectful, abusive relationship.Get strong in mind and heart and get healthier and you will see with New Eyes that this man, is not worth your time, energy, let alone love.*hugs*http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/2008/10/charmer-abusers-and-their-prey.htmlhttp://www.escapeabuse.com/?p=116http://www.dearcupid.org/question/internet-cheating----harder-to-get.html http://www.getfrank.co.nz/dating-romance-relationships/relationship-advice/seven-signs-of-a-serial-cheater-part
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