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female
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anonymous
writes: I fall in love too easily and when I do I don't know if I love them as a friend or more.I've told him I love him and he has told me the same. He has even said that he would like to be serious when were older.I feel the same, however I'm still confused if I just love him as a friend or more.What should I do?I really want to love him more than just friends, but I feel the same way about a lot of people at first and I haven't seen him in over a year! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2006): Hey
From a personal experience I had I had an ex who had the same problem. She would easily fall in love or develop feelings towards guys, even while she was with guys sometimes. It turns out it started to bother her after she had been in situations that went really bad for her.
After seeking a professional opinion towards why she was the way she was a doctor found out she had a lot of issues in terms of her father being absent in her life and her having resentment towards him for her parents divorce. Her father issues created a situation in which she started to feel the need for male approval or strong male figures in her life and left her prone to seeking out the attention of guys. Her feelings of need that came from the unresolved issues she had manifested themselves into cases of "instant attraction".
I don't know if this is at all like your situation but I thought I'd mention it in the off chance it was. She has recognized her problem and has since been fine in terms of her relationships.
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (6 February 2006):
 Stay friends, if it develops into real love (and there will be no mistaking that feeling) then fine, but it does sound like you have strong friendship feelings which is fine as we can love our frinds without the physical love side.
He sounds just as confused as you about what you are both feeling and were you are heading, so just relax and enjoy the frienship.
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