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I can't tell if the guy I fancy is gay or straight! I want to know, but don't want to offend him - advice?

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Question - (19 December 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 20 December 2006)
A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

i have a problem, theres this guy at work who i really fancy, but the problem is i cant tell whether he is gay or not. We are both very touchy feely together, we talk loads and get along really well but i fancy him and want more then that. All his friends are girls i am really worried his gay. The other day though he said to me u know u want me..and i thought if he was gay he wouldnt say that?

How can i tell whether he is gay or not without offending him and ruining our friendship i need to know now bec i finish work next week for good...

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A male reader, lboy United Kingdom +, writes (20 December 2006):

lboy agony auntdear reader,

i think that you do have a few options on this situation, but you may also be misinterperating what he meant by 'you know you want me', because i'm gay and often say that kind of thing to my female friends for a joke but he may have said it for different reasons. but anyway your options would be to either ask his other friends and see if they know, ask him out and let him know that it would be more than a friendly get together, or you could ask him straight up if he is gay, but don't get your hopes up just because of what he said on one occasion, you should always be prepared for the worst. well that's all the advice i have on the situation.

good luck

lboy

xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2006):

I think you should let this guy ask you out instead of the other way around, you could just mention that the two of you ought to meet sometime out of work for a cocktail or coffee and see if he goes for it...if not he probably is not intersted in you and just having some fun. If he is Gay, he will probably let you know that sooner than later, the fact that he hasn't means he is not out yet, or is not Gay.

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A female reader, hiddenspace United Kingdom +, writes (19 December 2006):

hiddenspace agony auntYou have a few options.. you could ask him out on a date, making it clear it's more than that just two friends going out, and that you'd like more.

You could ask some of his other friends, see if they know.

You could ask him who his ideal celebrity to spend the night with would be and why? And his answer might help you gauge his sexuality.

Or you could ask him out right if he's gay, however that may cause more problems than it solves.

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