A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is my first year at college, and I never realized how horrible I am at making friends. This wasnt my top choice and I had no intention of making friends here because I thought they werent my "type" of people. But now that Im in my second semester, I see that there are people that I'd like to be friends with, and Im kicking myself for not engaging earlier on.I had a lot of really good friends back in high school, and was essentially friends with most people at my school. But I have horrible, horrible social anxiety so if I ever want to actually make new friends.. alcohol is necessary. And thats not particularly helpful at times. I seriously dont understand social etiquette. I cant speak to people I dont know. I get incredibly red/flustered whenever someone singles me out in class. I have one friend here: my roommate. She doesnt have any other friends either really and I think that has added to my problem. We only hang out with each other and sometimes our suitemate. My roommate is pretty boring it seems and never wants to do anything except go out to eat and she always wants to go home. My high school friends go to school by me so sometimes I'll go there. My school is a city college though so its a bit more difficult to just make friends. Everyone is all settled in and made friends and then there is me. I really dont know what to do. Im not sure what kind of advice Im looking for, just generally from any experience.. how to put yourself out there and start conversation/lead into hanging out?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2010): Get involved with clubs or other group functions on your campus. The more you put yourself out there, the more people you will meet. Getting a job on campus also helps to surround yourself with meeting new people. It takes time to build a friendship so patience is also key. If you're still feeling lonely and lost, see your health center and talk to counselors there- it sometimes helps to just vent your frustrations. There also may be group meetings with other students who feel the same way you do.
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (9 February 2010):
 ooops MY COMPUTER LEFT WITHOUT ME!
Continued...
You must choose with knowledge that THIS WILL AFFECT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Some people really aren't always the best friends. Seek friendships that will bring you joy and good times, but at the same time keeping you safe and happy. Believe that any real true friend would never try to cause you any harm and WILL ACCEPT YOU JUST AS YOU ARE! Don't think that if you go along with the gang that you will always be thought of as the greatest friend. Just learn to BE YOURSELF!.
Now to give you the scoop. I have sang in bars, I have never drank,nor done drugs. I don't leave with anyone unless I am with someone. I am not perfect. But my friends accept me as I am! I love music, I sing. Those who are better than I, who are my true friends think I sound great! I'm a designated driver and times when I was in trouble and needed help,I have had food, and shelter. Friends are one of the richest blessings from GOD. Seek Him and His infinante wisdom and HE WILL help you to make good decisions and not bad ones. HE WILL help you make and keep the best of friendships that can carry you thru good times and bad....even when your friend isn't perfect either. Who is? GOD can work things out. Just be smart enought to be open and honest about who you are and what you will or won't accept. Make wise choices and enjoy your new friendships. Perhaps you can carry some of them with you for the rest of your life as I have. At 53 I still retain many friends from my childhood and beyond. My best to you always~ :)
God bless,
Blue_Angel0316
^(**)^
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (9 February 2010):
I wonder if you are either shy or if you have a low self esteem problem. Bonding with new friends can be a task but when you look around you can see more and more prospects. Don't necessarly include nor disclude someone from the rigid first appearance thoughts.
I really have to say this! NO NO NO~~~~ DON'T EVER think you have to do ANYTHING TO MAKE OR KEEP FRIENDS~~ FRIENDS SHOULD BE ADAPTABLE ENOUGH TO ACCEPT YOU AS YOU ARE! This involves, caring,appreciation, respect and a much more!!! First off you need to realize that you shouldnever do something you aren't comfortable with! Don't let peer pressure bring you more pain. Make concise and firm decisions on what is acceptable to you and CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS with CARE, accordingly.
From someone who knows,whenever alcohol or drugs,sex is involved you must choose with knowledge that
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A
male
reader, goodguy11 +, writes (9 February 2010):
When you have an upcoming test make a study group. Ask the people around you if they want to get together and help each other study. Study with them talk with them. It's a good way to break the ice. After studying ask them if they want to go eat somewhere and get to know some of them.
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