A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hellooooo there!Okay well, bear with me here, it's sort of long! : My ex's is W. My current boyfriend is R. Okay? Here it goes.When I was dating W, we planned to go to the same college together, which happened to be very far away from where I live but very close to where he lives. It was a good idea to me at the time, and I told my friends about it. Shortly after paying for my acceptance fee into that college, W broke up with me. He said he just didn't love me anymore, etc.. After fighting for our relationship, and thinking that he was just doing that to protect me from moving out there to be with him, etc, I find out that he's been telling everyone and his family how annoying I was and how he was tired of being with me.I have/had two friends that encouraged me to go to Iowa and decided that they wanted to go too. I did NOT even persuade them to apply, that just did it and wanted to go to college together with me. During the time we were packing up to go to that faraway college, R came into my life.R was the one that got away. He's handsome, he's perfect, he's smart. And I have never felt so strongly about one person than I do with him. I'm young, I know this, but if I want to experience love with anyone, it's with R. I'm certain of that. R's arrival into my life was very surprising because we had left on a very bad note, so I felt like in some way it was fated. I honestly feel that way. We hadn't talked for two years prior, then when I'm about to move off to college, he comes back asking for us to try again.Well.. I decided to go to college where I live. It's cheaper, and it's a great school. Both of the colleges I got into were amazing. But my two friends were very upset. I explained to them since W wasn't with me anymore and he was the main reason I was going to go, I didn't want to go that far to pay out of state tuition and be around someone that thought I was incredibly annoying. They 'said' they forgave me and that its ok and we didn't talk much after that.Now skip forward a few months to NOW. I'm disgustingly happy with R right now. He makes every day feel like a blessing and I can't express how happy I am.I got a message from my two friends about how they met W (they never met him before, I didn't get to introduce them) and how good looking/smart/funny/buff/nice he is. And it's just like.. Are they saying this out to spite me? I was torn up about W's break up with me and how he thought I was annoying. That hurt incredibly, especially when I was going to go be with him in the first place. And they keep updating me about how I'm missing out, how my ex is soooo amazing, and etc. They even make comments that I led them on and flaked out.So a few questions here.1. Are they even my friends to have done those things?2. What do I do the next time they make comments like that again?3. I just want to be with R and not have to hear the two talk about how I'm 'missing' out by choosing one guy to spend my time and hopefully life with. I don't regret my decision. I don't want to just tell them to go away either because they make me mad. I do value them as friends when they DID live here.. so how do I keep our friendship without hearing them talk about my ex?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2011): In my opinion, these two girls are not your friends. It is just plain mean to tell you all sorts of wonderful things about the ex-boyfriend. The two of you broke up. He supposedly said unflattering things about you. You are enjoying a nice relationship with a new guy and there is no reason for your two "friends" to go on and on about your "missed opportunity". You didn't miss an opportunity. The ex was not right for you for whatever reason and that's that. I think you should, in a polite way, tell your friends that you'd rather not hear about your ex, that you are blissfully happy in your new relationship, and if they have opportunity to see him, hang out with him, talk with him, whatever, you don't need to know about it. Friends should understand and abide by your wishes. If they cannot or will not do that, they are simply not your friends and you should cut ties with them as well.
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