A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so next year, I am scheduled to climb to the summit of Mt Everest, the worlds tallest mountain. This has been my dream ever since I was a little boy. I am taking up a particular route to the summit. Yesterday I was watching a video of an area one path to the summit, a very technical dangerous area I must climb over when heading to the summit of mt Everest. Anyways my girlfriend walked in while I was watching it, and began crying because she is afraid that I am going to fall into a crevasse and get killed, or Freeze to death, in an area (above 8000m) where there is so little oxygen, that you can easily fall asleep while climbing, and freeze to death, as the temperatures are so cold. She is freaking out scared of me climbing Everest, and is begging me not to go and cry like crazy. I know what I am doing, and I know the dangers. What should I do? Should I abandon my dream of reaching the roof top of the world so she can feel better. Or so I just tell her to live with it, (which seems kind of cruel.) Help!!!!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (25 April 2012):
 Maybe it's a sign. Think about the guy who was determined to go against the advise of his loved ones, and did perish. What if he would have listened. Never underestimate the power of a woman's intuition. I personally don't think you'll enjoy this trip now even if you do go. Sometimes at a certain age guys have to start thinking about those around them. It's not all about their adventure anymore.
A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (25 April 2012):
 The concept of fulfilling one's dreams is fine and dandy, but I am going to be realistic here. My first question is: are you an exceptionally experienced mt. climber, or are you going from a 6 to an 11? Are you going alone or in a group? If you're not very experienced, if you have not climbed difficult and dangerous mountains prior to this and if you intend to do it alone..... even I, a complete stranger on the internet, would be against such an endeavor. If your dreams have a very high potential to kill you, how worth it can they really be? Are you willing to die to maybe see he summit?
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (24 April 2012):
 You are lucky to have such a considerate and caring girlfriend. Not many people would be as concerned as her. She's a keeper OP.
What you can do is, sit her down and gently talk to her. Explain to her that climbing the Everest is undoubtedly dangerous, but if you are careful and have taken the necessary training, then there is nothing to be afraid of. Accidents can happen anywhere, not necessarily while climbing a mountain, does that mean one would never step out of the house? That's not the solution, is it?
Tell her that this is something that has been a dream of yours and its very difficult for you to even think of giving it up. Her love, support and encouragement will make the task easier for you and convince her that there is nothing to worry about. You will be doing it next year, so you have a whole year to try and get her to accept it and I'm sure she will. I bet her reaction was an impulsive one and she freaked out watching that video. Talk to her about the training process, focus on the positives and I'm sure she will turn around.
As for you OP, all the best. Train hard and be mentally strong.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (24 April 2012):
 It is your dream, and you will resent her if she stops you from achieving it. So you need to go ahead and do this, just make sure you are the most prepared you possibly can be.
Perhaps try and find some videos of people reaching the summit that dont show too much danger (I know thats tough!), maybe videos of people getting back to base camp and talking about how amazing the experience was. This should calm her nerves a bit - the more success stories she sees the more she will realise that this is something achievable and while there are dangers, they can be overcome.
Make sure she sees how much you are training and how hard you are working, to prove that you are taking this seriously and you will be in prime physical condition in time for next year.
And whilst showing her success stories and showing her your training is a good thing - talking about it too much and allowing her to get involved too much is going to scare her more. So try and only show her the good bits - and leave the tricky, dangerous bits to when you are on your own and can watch these kinds of videos when she is not around.
She obviously loves her and just wants you to be safe, there is nothing wrong with that - but she cant stifle you and stop you from achieving your dreams either. Try and reassure her as much as you can, keep her calm and keep quiet about the climb until closer to the time. If you are constantly talking about it already and are spending time with her doing/watching climb related things, it will build up to fever pitch by next year. There are still many months to go before you do the climb so keep her involvement in it low until closer to the time.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2012): A mans gotta do what a mans gotta do..Is there a way you can get together with the other climbers and their partners or close family, let your girl meet them. She may feel better if she talks to them.
Never let anyone stop you following your dreams
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 April 2012):
 First of all, you have to go. It's dangerous, it's pretty reckless, but then again, so is tornado chasing or hang gliding or even downhill skiing. You have your entire life to be there for others once you get married and have kids, if you so choose.
Second, tell her that you have to go, plain and simple. Tell her that you understand and love her for her concern, but that if you don't go, you will resent her for the rest of your life, and it will be a lifelong dream discarded. Your dream predates her, and you must go.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2012): I agree that you girlfriend is being rather selfish. No one should stand in the way of other peoples dreams even if it is because she's worried for you. Tell her that you've planned this way before you even knew her and you are grateful she cares but you will go away the best prepared you can be and that is all that you can do. Why not involve her and show her the safety precautions in place to put her mind at ease, maybe if she understands better she will not panic. I would also suggest she is a bit more positive, if all you hear is "you'll die, you'll get hurt" etc... Then you won't be mentally prepared, if she encourages you and tells you how proud she'll be ( which she should be doing mt Everest is an amazing accomplishment!) then you will be able to leave and feel confident.
Good luck with the climb!!
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A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (24 April 2012):
Follow your dream. I'm sure you will be with others who are highly experienced as well. If you have the chance to reach the summit then you really must go for it, if that's what you have always wanted. I'm sure your gf is upset but it's selfish of her to try and get in the way (in my opinion). She's not your wife, and also I'm assuming that you don't have children to care for. As long as you are aware of the risks, then take this amazing chance.
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