A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How can I gain the confidence to let guys touch me?Don't get me wrong, I have let them before, but I havent liked it much and been uncomfortable.I've never had to confidence to touch them either, they are always making the first move and I usually feel as though im being pushed although its perfectly natural. For me, it's always "too soon" and I'm always wriggling away and coming up with excuses. This would all be understandable if my relationships were rushed but my last was 6months and I still found it hard.I feel stupid compared to my friends who are all not virgins and tend to be singled out.I know you shouldn't be pressured but when you're mates do childish things such as "put your hand up if you're a virgin" and you cant help but feel different.please help
View related questions:
confidence Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, skye +, writes (19 August 2007):
 Try to relax in your relationships. Become comfortable with your partner before you rush in there. Take things slowly. If your partner cares for you, he will be understanding and will wait until you are ready.
Stop concerning yourself over virginity. Everyone is different. You will know when the time is right for you for it will come naturally. Dont ever feel forced into anything or you will regret it. Either admit your virginity with pride to your friends or refuse to comment at all. Dont feel different for there are other girls of your age in the same position as you who simply havent met a guy they feel completely at ease with yet.
Given some time, patience and the right person, things will come naturally to you. I promise.
Best wishes,
Skye
A
male
reader, Charlie84  +, writes (19 August 2007):
First of all if your friends are doing this then maybe you need to find some new friends.
Is there something in your past that is bothering you to the point that you cant accept another person in close? Possibly someone you trust violated the boundaries and its left an ever lasting mark on you that you need to get past?
You need to evaluate yourself and don't care to be judged by others. Its your life, not theirs. When you're ready and comfortable it WILL happen. But again most importantly don't feel rushed into it just because others are doing it or may tease you for it. In the end I'm sure they're just jealous you don't give in so easily to the temptations/pressuring of the boys.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2007): Hi!
First, you are very young to enter into sexual relationships. I don't know what's getting into young people these days, but feeling stupid because you are a virgin at 17 should not be happening at all.
Perhaps you don't feel comfortable because you know that the guys you are with are not looking for a wife, but rather to experiment and respond to their hormones. Women are not wired for NSA relationships, as what we want is a man who will love us and protect us and make us feel like a princess.
If you don't feel comfortable letting a guy touch you, then don't. Don't do anything just for the sake of losing your virginity. Sex should be a precious thing that seals the relationship between two people who love each other. If you just go along so that you don't count yourself as a virgin, then the whole thing will be made cheaper and you will hate it. When, later, you come to know the man of your life, you will have some emotional baggage to deal with, and you don't want that.
When you meet the right person, everything will be so right that you won't have a problem allowing whatever to happen.
In the meantime, just keep truthful to your heart, and don't allow anyone to ridiculize you. All of your friends who just did whatever simply to not be counted as virgins anymore don't have enough self respect and have just cheapened themselves.
Don't loose heart, it's not worth it. Take care x
...............................
|
