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He's going away for 6 weeks and I can't survive without him!

Tagged as: Dating, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 August 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 17 August 2009)
A female Australia, anonymous writes:

My bf is going away for a long time- 6 weeks overseas. I wont get to talk to him much, because hes not taking a phone due to how expensive it would be. He said he will try to find a internet cafe when he can, but hes not sure how often he will be able to get one. I am sooooo anxious and worried. I cant sleep at night. I dont know how to survive 6 weeks without him. I cant go on feeling like this. I am in tears every day, almost every day long. What do I do?

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A female reader, Fairy_Lu United Kingdom +, writes (17 August 2009):

Fairy_Lu agony auntHuni you just cope dont ask me how but you do, my other half if in the army and has been in afghanistan since march and is not home till the end of september, i have seen him for little over a week since he has been away when he came back for leave. I have been kept up at night knowing where he is and whats going on, i have gone 3 weeks with no contact at all, it kills me but i know he loves me and we both know our love is strong enough to survive anything.

6 weeks will fly by as long as you keep your self busy go out see your friends, write him letters, you know he will be safe be greatful that he is not in the forces, you miss someone when you know there on vacation imagine missing someone when there in a warzone.

You will be fine the time will go faster then you mayb think and imagine how could it will feel when he is back and you can be together.

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A female reader, taysha1 Australia +, writes (17 August 2009):

hey there,

i know how you are feeling. My boyfriend and i will be separated for 4 months - its 7 weeks in and i havnt spoken on the phone to him for 3 weeks, emails come sporadically and its driving my nuts. BUT i know he loves me and i know that in a few weeks time, i'll be homeward bound. I think the first half of the separation is hardest. My boy didnt take a phone either and he's in small towns in france having a great time while i'm stuck here jut going through the motions of uni life.

I've realised that i need to allow him some space too. It sucks to not send him emails all the time and to not hear from him, because he's by best friend and i want to know what he's doing, but i know i'll smother him if i keep doing what i'm doing, and that'll push him away.

If you want anyone to talk to, let me know as it's nice to talk to people in a similar situation - it'd be useful for me to chat too so go right ahead! Just try to keep busy, even when you dont want to go out, just do it. it'll make time pass faster.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009):

Wow, you don't tell us how young (or old) you are. I hope that you're on the young side, as that will temper my suggestons. If you're young and this is the first time that your BF is going away on an extended trip you need to loosen your grip a bit- seems as if you're living your life through him and that's NOT healthy. You need to develop your own sense of identity and to be able to survive on your own. Sleepless nights, tears and drama are not good, and it indicates that you may be more dependant on him than is healthy. Do soem research on co-dependency and see if you may have a bit of that - it's not fatal, and you can easily address it...

Now if you're over your early 20's, for God sakes get a therapist and really work hard on this... this kind of situation in your mid to late 20's or beyond is not healthy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009):

It's really hard, but you can survive it! The time will pass :) My bf has been overseas for 10 weeks and 2 days now (not that I'm counting lol) and he'll be back in 5 weeks and 4 days, woohoo!!!!! :) It gets very hard at times, and you cry a lot, but it's also really exciting when it gets close to when he'll be back :) Just make the most of whatever time you have with him before he goes and know that while he's gone, he'll be thinking about you just as much as you are about him! Try not to let yourself go too crazy checking your email constantly, staring at your computer screen and hoping to hear from him. My guy went 8 days once without being able to email me and I got myself into a really bad state, even though I kept trying to tell myself he just couldn't get to a computer right now. So try not to stress about hearing from him too much, try to keep yourself busy too, like go out with your friends a lot more often or even go to a few dance classes or something, it will help take your mind off things and make the time pass so much faster. You can survive though!! My good friend's boyfriend went overseas for 6 months (awful hey) and she was used to seeing him every day and talking every night for hours, and she is someone who gets jealous very easily which would make it even harder, and their relationship survived :) you can do it, just be strong!

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A female reader, pooky. United States +, writes (17 August 2009):

pooky. agony auntthere is nothing you can do..

believe me i kno how it feels..

thinking everyday how he is doing.. when will you get to talk to him.. when is he going to come back..

there is like millions of things going through your head..

bt theres not much you can do..

u'll more than likely be anxious everyday.. jst thinking if he called.. or if he is going to call..

u'll be crying alot.. bcuz ur missing him nd u cant wait til he comes back so you can hold him in ur amrs again..

all there is left to do.. is that when he gets the change to talk to you.. tell him how you feel about him.. remind him that you love him, and that you miss him..

dont argue with him.. that will jst make this worst..

jst tell him how you really feel about him. it will make him feel alot better...

nd he will be jst as anxious to be back with you!

good luck.. nd if u need anything im here..!

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