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female
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*luffy
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for 10 years, we have only lived together for 3 years. Over the las couple of years the passion seems to have gone out our relationship, he says he is still happy and that he loves me, but he doesnt seems to show it, although he has never been the romantic type! Just lately things have started to get worse, mainly with the way he speaks to me, its not what he says but the ways he says it, like he has got no patience with me, i'm getting to the stage that i feel that it is best not ot even talk to has it seems that every conversation he either snaps at me or we end up arguing. the only time he ever shows me any affection (if you can call it affection) is when he wants sex, but by then i'm upset and i've put my barriers up that i cant forget hpow he speaks to me, and a little voice in my head says why should I. I just dont know what to do i cnat go on with the way he speaks to me, whenever i confront him he always says thet it is in my head. I just want to feel in love like we use to be and i dont know how to get that feeling back, and to stop feeling emotionally dead inside. please help? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2006): hey i have the same problem except that i don't even get sex from my partner and he used to be really soft and quite romantic. anyway back to you. i agree that counselling could work but before you do, see if you can find out why he has changed. when my partner wouldn't talk i sent him an email
A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (29 January 2006):
 You need relationship counselling to kick start your relationship. Start with a heart to heart and tell your guy how you really feels when he treats you poorly and let down your barriers. Then if the two of you feel that your relationship is worth saving suggest therapy. It may just work.
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (28 January 2006):
 I know I reccomend his a lot but I can definitely see a need for some couples therapy here. Relationships are hard, as you know, and sometimes we get to a place that we can't seem to get out of on our own. With 10 years under your belt I doubt that you want to just call it quits so I really feel like you need to develop some new communication methods as a couple, this will help him to learn how he hurts you with the way he says things and help you to distinguish between him actually trying to be hurtful and him just having a bad day and a therapist can help you do that. Good luck.
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