A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:We were engaged to be married soon after a whirlwind romance and something terrible happened in my life and I turned to him for support. I was very hurt when he wouldn't talk it or offer me comfort or help. I foolishly called off the wedding and moved out just over a month ago. A week later i begged him to come home and he said no it is over. I drove 12 hours to see him 3 weeks ago and we were intimate but he still stubbornly insists that it's over. I poured my heart out in texts 2 weeks ago, telling him I was sorry I understand what went wrong and I won't hurt him again. I reminded him all couples struggle and not to give up. He didn't even answer any of them. I haven't contacted him or heard from him in two weeks. The only thing I have left to talk to him about is moving my stuff out but I don't want to! I just want to be back at home with him. If anyone has any advice on how to get through his barrier please help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): Thank you for taking the time to respond. I think my head knows you are right it's just that breakups are painful. He is a good man in so many ways but yes he did come across as unemotional. I am the type of person who needs intimacy. It seemed to be there in the beginning but perhaps I was just seeing what I wanted to see. I will take your advice and move on-thanks for helping :)
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 December 2010):
I'm not so sure you're as foolish as you think you are. This man comes across as really cold, and it seems like he never wanted to really get married and used this as an escape.
You had every right to turn to him for support, and he cruelly turned you away. In a flash decision, you called the wedding off. But it's not like he fought to stop you leaving. He didn't fight at all. He just let you do it. Then when you came back to try and sort the mess out, he was determined that it was over. Yet he was happily intimate with you.
My gut is telling me that you had a narrow escape to be honest. I think you should text him again, explaining that you need to pick you stuff up, and then go and do that. But don't try to get back with him again. He didn't care about you when you were upset. He didn't fight for you when you left. He isn't fighting now. He's not worth your time.
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