A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok i am 15 and i've been dating my boyfriend 4 3 months now and he took my virginity about 4 days ago now that is not my problem my problem is now my friends think i am going to change and they say im not going 2 b around them as much they think that i will put my boyfriend before them.they wont me to stop being around my boyfriend so much and i just don't think i can do that i care about them as friends,but i love my boyfriend and don't won't to lose himwhat should i do??? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009): sit them down, tell them u love him and them and wont put any of them first
not going to say anything bout ur age but if u was happy to have sex at ur age its ok
just u gotta tell them, cuz if u and ur boi go wrong ur goin to need them more than ever
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni wont to thank u for being so helpful to my question...and your answer really put things in perspective for me!
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (1 January 2009):
 Dear Anon
This is a tough situation.
Regardless of what age you will be, you may face this dilema more than once.
Your friends may feel unhappy or second best because of the time you spend with him.
If you ignore boyfriend then he will feel second best and relationship may fail.
Let's suppose that you really go for this relationship and see your friends less and less each week, turn into monthly or less often. It can be great passion at the beginning but you cannot spend 24/7 together, you need to retain your private space.
Not saying that it will but let's imagine that something goes wrong and you break up. You may find yourself "billy no mates", as your friends felt reject and may abandon you.
Scenario 2 - is that you keep your friends happy and your boyfriend goes else to another with less baggage/issues. This situation would not keep you happy either as you may have your mates to keep you company but no partner to provide with love and intimacy.
The challenge here is to find the right balance.
It is very acceptable to see your friends say once a week to keep friendship site and to keep your own private space away from your partner.
If your friends are real friends worth keeping they will understand this and be happy for you.
Equally, if your boyfriend is the One, he will respect that you need to see your friends.
Neither side should control who you see or how often. Your friends may need some time to adjust to the change, you may wish to reassure them that is about choosing, they all have places in your heart. Keeping in touch with them at least once per week (couple of hours) is quite reasonable and should keep everyone happy, including yourself.
Having friends should be a happy experience, so do not allow anyone to stress you out.
Good luck and lots of hugs
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