A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has an abnormally big dick and it is physically too big for me?-I've sat on it lubed up and it would take alot of force to make it go in, were both still virgins but feel ready, how do i go about making this as less painful as possible?? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, daletom  +, writes (15 April 2013):
To answer the question directly, the procedure usually mentioned when either partner is a virgin - and especially if BOTH are - has been mentioned in quite a few old posts with the "virginity" tag. It is something like:
- Spend some time, at least several days to even months or more, learning about each other's bodies and sexual responses.
- They need to do what's necessary so the first intercourse can be done with natural, naked genitals. Contraception and STD's are VERY real problems and MUST be considered, but "condoms" is not the only solution. And, when one or both partners is a virgin they are often used incorrectly and don't provide the "protection" expected.
- To start first intercourse (regardless of which partner is virgin), the girl should help the boy to a climax. They should be familiar with how to do this. He should expect it and not hold back the orgasm. This "takes the edge off" for him and lets him have better control.
- While he is recovering he should help her to orgasm. This should make her as relaxed, open, and lubricated as she will ever be.
- If she is a virgin she should consider getting on top, straddling him to receive his erection. That way she can get the location and angle just right - there is no way he can accurately know how it feels for her! Think, "I am enveloping his erection.", rather than "He is sticking it into me.".
- It's no secret - most girls report something between "moderate discomfort" and "hurts like hell" from their first-time sex. Girls who have a hymen sometimes describe the breaking as similar to getting an ear pierced. Even without a hymen there may be some pain as his erection stretches your vaginal muscles open.
- Her discomfort may change to pleasure even before her first time ends. Or it may take several days and a dozen or more couplings before it's comfortable for her.
- Expect a virgin boy to finish quickly. If she is in discomfort, a gentleman will finish quickly. If her hymen was torn he should respectfully and lovingly help clean up any blood.
- Make sure you have plenty of time to spend together afterwards!
OK - there's your answer. But . . . give careful consideration to what "chigirl" wrote. The tone and wording of your question makes me wonder if this is really a relationship you want to add sex to. There are quite a few posts on this Forum from people, both guys and gals, who wish they had waited to start having sex, even if they don't really "regret" their first experience. And many folks have "retroactive jealousy" from their lover's previous partners. In contrast there are relatively few posts where somebody says "I wish I had started sex younger than I did.".
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 April 2013):
 I think it will be OK as LONG as you can relax and he can enter slowly and stop if needed.
Like some posters suggested, maybe start with gentle fingering, I'm not really a fan of you having to insert dildos, I don't think that is necessary at all. It's a peg and round hole after all, just go slow. And STOP if it hurt and slow down even more.
And don't have sex til you are ready. USE protection, be smart about it.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 April 2013):
 Maybe wait a few years and practice doing other things sexually. When you're dealing with a big member you need to take things sloooow and not jump straight for intercourse. You might want to warm up by getting used to fingering first, then maybe play with a dildo etc. before you attempt to take the actual penis inside you. It's just going to hurt you, and possibly cause you harm. There is little point in trying to force it in, because he wont be able to move (or of he does try to move it'll make you scream in pain). And then if you do "get it over with" it'll just hurt the next time you try to have sex as well. It's going to hurt quite a lot for quite a while.
So I say, it's not worth it. Go slow in the relationship, wait with intercourse. Do other things sexually. As you grow older it will be easier to handle this, as you'll have come up with ideas and figured out what would work for the two of you.
It's not worth to have intercourse right now because it wont be pleasurable for you at all, and if it's just going to cause you pain then there is no point in doing it. Sex is supposed to feel good for the BOTH of you. If it wont feel good then do not do it.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (14 April 2013):
No penis is too big to fit. A baby can fit through with a head the size of a melon! The issue is lube and relaxation. Without these no size penis will fit. You have a problem with the relaxation bit clearly, hence the question. You need to take it really slow, and if you don't understand the angle things enter your vagina then get a dildo and lube and play together and have fun discovering. Pointed at the right angle, and stiff enough, any penis will go in, small errors self correct, but if your 45 degrees off, which is possible, especially with the guy on top, it will never work. Best is for the two of you to play for quite a while and then you get on top and get hold of his penis and direct it slowly in the right direction whilst you control totally the pressure. It like riding a bike but more fun. PS I'm sure he's not that abnormal, thinking that doesn't help either! :-)
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A
male
reader, Glacier  +, writes (14 April 2013):
You may want to practise first with two fingers in there or a dildo so you get used to it. You will have to relax, very important.
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