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Does she really care more about him than me?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 May 2009) 7 Answers - (Newest, 28 May 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Basically, my girlfriend of nearly eight months has been talking to this guy over the internet for about four years. She says they used to be, sort of together, long distance but then she broke with him (she says). Thing is, she always wants to speak to him. Even after we woke up together today from a nap, she went straight onto her msn to see if he was online. At the end of every conversation with him she says "Love you xx", even when I'm there.

I know nothing about this guy really, except that he loves her loads, lives on the other side of the country, phones her a lot, and would do anything to get with her.

Everytime I try to talk to her about it, she gives really short answers back and changes the subject or just gets really annoyed and starts saying that I'm ruining her life. She has actually said quite a few times "why can't you be more like him?"

She claims that she finds it really annoying when he gets all lovey dovey with her over msn, and whenever I'm there she always just signs out, but I think she may say the same things when I'm not there.

She is actually an Aunt on this site and it says on her information that she is in a longterm relationship with a guy over the internet but there is an age difference. There is nothing about me even though we've been together nearly eight months.

He has this website diary thing with loads of stuff on it dedicated to her and she always asks him to update it. She seems to care what he does more than me. At one point he got really badly injured and she was crying all through her school day. He always seems to be able to cheer her up...

I just want to know what to do. Should I trust her and see if I get my heart broken? Confront her about it and be told more lies? Break up with her? I just don't know. Any help would be great. Thanks.

View related questions: long distance, msn, the internet

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A female reader, iSmil3y United States +, writes (28 May 2009):

I think you should end this relationship because it seems to me, she's using you. Let him have her, let them talk online and you can go out and get a girlfriend that's better than that. Someone who respects you, doesn't go around flirting/cheating with other guys and loves you. You can do better.

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A female reader, Fairy_Lu United Kingdom +, writes (27 May 2009):

Fairy_Lu agony auntTo be honest i think the best option is just to get rid of her, she says she loves him and says she wishes you were more like him? Thats just wrong this is not a real relationship she is just using you for what ever reason. I think you should leave her so she can be with her internet guy, that way you can find someone to love you and she can spend her nights online to a guy she thinks is better then you.

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A male reader, simpleguy_26 Hong Kong +, writes (27 May 2009):

just cut the ties completely and move on...you deserve better...find someone who can understand you and treat you well.

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A female reader, LOML United States +, writes (27 May 2009):

LOML agony auntSeems to me that she don't even wanna be bother with you and why would you wanna stay around while she's into this other guy?? Its obvious she's more into him anytime she says"Why can't you be like him" if she really liked you then this other guy wouldn't even be in the picture at all point blank!

I say leave her...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2009):

she is clearly disrespecting you by doing what she is doing! She definitely has a connection with this guy even if it's just online.

Move on and find someone who can really, truly love you for who you are. If she loved you, she wouldn't be putting you through this.

Please don't let yourself be a doormat...she is playing both of you for her own ego!

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A female reader, niki20 United States +, writes (27 May 2009):

niki20 agony auntdear your young. i think you should say goodbye to her. although shes not pyshically cheating she is emotionally cheating on you. you deserve better what shes doing is absolutely rude and disrespectful. i say go find yourself a nice girl that will spend time with you versus the internet. are you just there for her to have someone there with her??

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2009):

Why are you even in this relationship? Let him have her, don't be a doormat. She can live this online fantasy relationship and you can move on to a real one, someone that is fully available to you and doesn't treat you like some left over.

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