Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2012): He wants to be married, yes. He wants to go on dating sites, yes. Pretty much everything in his life is about what he wants. He would fail you miserably as a husband. I think you probably know that. No one will ever be able to tell you any different. Dating sites uhhh! He`s not exactly first prize then is he?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2012): Of course he likes marriage - HIS version of marriage. Which is: he gets the security of being able to say he is married (most men past a certain age view it as a status symbol or a basic component of self worth to be able to say they have a wife and family). He gets the convenience of having someone do the cooking and cleaning for him. He likes being able to have someone available to "cuddle up to" (if you know what I mean) when he feels like it, someone who is familiar already so he doesn't have to expend energy going out to the bars to pick up strange women. if you also work and make as much money as him then he likes having access to more money and a higher lifestyle than he would if he were on his own. That's what he likes about marriage. It doesn't mean he actually cares about YOU. And his actions certainly show it. It's all about what benefits he will receive from being in a marriage, that's all.
Actions speak louder than words. if he claims he loves you but his actions clearly show otherwise, believe his actions not his words. Words mean nothing, if they come from a dishonest person.
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A
male
reader, somewhere_between  +, writes (11 December 2012):
 He (your boyfriend) is full of crap. He is pulling the wool over your eyes. He is cheating on you already via dating websites. He knows he is, and he knows he can.
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A
female
reader, Jeanette82 +, writes (11 December 2012):
 It looks like he is one of those who thinks that being on a dating site is harmless. If you was registered on one, then his view would change, I assure you of that. He has all the hallmarks of an abuser and a cheat.
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom +, writes (11 December 2012):
 Im finding it really hard to work out this guys motive for marrying you. It really doesnt sound like he loves you, and Im wondering if its because he would get more of a thrill from cheating if you were married because its 'naughtier' as some people get turnee on by that kind of thing. Either that or maybe he thinks he would be less likely to cheat If you were married. But either way, I wouldnt stay with this guy. If youve broken up so many times and he hasnt changed then it is not likely that he will anytime soon. By staying with him you are keeping your doors closed to other possibilities. I would leave him.
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom +, writes (11 December 2012):
Im finding it really hard to work out this guys motive for marrying you. It really doesnt sound like he loves you, and Im wondering if its because he would get more of a thrill from cheating if you were married because its 'naughtier' as some people get turnee on by that kind of thing. Either that or maybe he thinks he would be less likely to cheat If you were married. But either way, I wouldnt stay with this guy. If youve broken up so many times and he hasnt changed then it is not likely that he will anytime soon. By staying with him you are keeping your doors closed to other possibilities. I would leave him.
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A
male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (11 December 2012):
 He is not a very promising prospect. He has no respect for you or for women in general.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (11 December 2012):
 Hi
Why on earth would you want to be with a self confessed cheat who is still using Dating Sites?
Run a mile as he is not boyfriend material for any woman and he doesn't give a damn how he upsets you with his behaviour.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2012): He prefers to cheat.
He cheated on his wife. Who is to say he won't cheat on you or already has with the dating sites.
I wouldn't date such a man let alone marry him.
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A
female
reader, N joY +, writes (11 December 2012):
He is treating you like a fool and you allow him to. He is in a relationship with you, and also he is a member of a dating site? Did I hear you right? Why do you allow this to go on? He cheated in the past. Is there not enough red flags already?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (11 December 2012):
 This is a classic case of "talking the talk" but not "walking the walk".....
You don't need to put up with him and his shenanigans. YOU can do much better with a sincere and loyal boyfriend. I'd wager that you'll need not more than 10 days to find one (S + L boyfriend) if you set your mind to finding one!!!!
Good luck.....
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A
male
reader, SumGuy +, writes (11 December 2012):
He is cheating on you. What are dating sites for?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2012): I dont know if he just prefers being married or not. What you should be more bothered about is he prefers to be on dating sites and doesnt care that it hurts you. I dont know why you are even with him. Married to him? He cheated on his ex wife and he's "cheating" on "you" too. How do you know he does not meet any of them? Get someone worth marrying because he aint.
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A
female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (11 December 2012):
 He could be the type who needs the security of a committed relationship, while he fools around on the side.
What concerns me, though, is that you already know he has a history of being unfaithful, and yet you're still with him. There are some major red flags here, starting with the fact that he openly brags about cheating on his ex wife.
This man isn't a good catch for ANYONE - you should seriously reconsider your relationship with this person.
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