A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone. I am currently 15 years old and I will turn 16 this middle of January. I have a real problem right now so I think of asking about my love problem.It all started in August of 2010 when my best friend and me were sending something to the Teachers' Lounge. On our way to the classroom upstairs, we passed through male teachers' toilet and at that time my friend decided to sing her favourite song. We heard someone just got out from the toilet and much to our embarrassment, he was right there, in front of the toilet. I didn't remember much I think he do look at us. We ran away to our classroom as fast as possible because it was embarrassing if he heard her singing.Since that day, I couldn't look into his face anymore. He taught the other classes and I always look at the outside to see him walking by the corridor when it was his period (yes, I shamelessly looked at my friend's timetable just to see how many days in a week he taught the class). I felt nervous whenever I saw him walking so close to me. There was once when he was sitting VERY CLOSE and to hide my embarrassment, I started to talk with my friends nearby. You might think it is weird for me to have a crush on him after the somewhat hilarious incident but I haven't mention that he resembles a celebrity whom I admire, do I? I compare their looks and heck, they look almost the same about 75%. I don't know how old he is but I'm guessing our age gap is probably 20 years. For your information too, he has two little kids whom he sometimes bring along to school. I felt kind of heartbroken knowing he was already married and furthermore, having children but I couldn't stop thinking about him. The problem right now is he's teaching me Maths and tomorrow I will have to face him. Obviously, I can't look into his face so how can I concentrate during his lesson!? Does any kind soul out there is willing to help me? I will appreciate any advice so please! I dunno for how long I can stay like this. I want to focus on my study too but when I see him, my mind's blank. How am I going to understand what he's teaching then?Please reply to this question as soon as possible.
View related questions:
best friend, crush, heartbroken, period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Arose  +, writes (16 January 2011):
Hey,
I know its hard but try not to think about him, else you'll end up like me, 5 years on and his still on your mind every day, and you can't do anything about it. x
A
male
reader, RU2BreakThurMe  +, writes (15 January 2011):
It can be hard to focus when the heart is involved. If you cannot avoid the teacher, then look for another distraction. the feeling may not goaway, but you can find another person to grab your emotions and help cope with the present. I would love to chat with you some time. [email address blocked]
...............................
A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell +, writes (10 January 2011):
 Don't worry about it! It'll pass.
Right now, you're used to watching guys in films and on TV and it's fine to look and fancy them a bit. Younger girls are mostly drawn to older guys because of the maturity they have compared to teenage boys. It could also be that, as a teacher, he's in a powerful position and gets respect from your peers. This could also be an attractive quality to you. And of course it doesn't help that he looks like your Celeb Crush... but all you can do is listen in class, keep your head down and do the work. If he doesn't think you're paying attention because you're trying not to look at him, he's likely to call you up on it, and then you're going to have to talk to him.
Try to act as normal as you can, it won't last forever (even though I know at the time it does feel like that!)
You're a student, he doesn't look at you in a romantic way. It would be unprofessional and could cost him his job. He's already taken. It's fine to look at him and fancy him, as long as you don't act on it!
Good luck! xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, auntieloulou +, writes (10 January 2011):
 everyone in the world has had a dilemma like this! wether it be fancying a teacher of theirs, someone they work with, a family frind...etc. it's natural, and your young and you have an infactuation. at least you seem to be mature enough to be concerned about your studies. i understand completely that your studies will be affected if he carries on teaching you. see if it is possible to see your head teacher and ask to be moved to another maths class. if she wants a reason, you can make one up, for example you could say that certain people in class make it difficult for you to concentrate. your head teacher will keep this information confidental. in the mean time focus on guys your age, maybe theres a guy at school you like? try to shift your crush elsewhere (easier said than done i know!) these desires usually burn out in no time so dont panic too much. if there are no other guys you like, shift your focus onto school work and your friends. school is the best days of your life so enjoy every moment!
...............................
A
female
reader, Noopanceedancee +, writes (10 January 2011):
It's very hard to deal with and alot of girls go through it. I think that all of us know that we can never have them, and that just makes us want them even more... It ends up being somthing that we feed on throughout the day and somthing that we don't tell other people so it ends up being all bottled up inside. I think that if you come to terms with the fact that your crush is not going to become a relationship, and if you find a boy your own age you will be able to face him in class. Trust me I know this is hard to deal with ( I'm going through the same thing) but the more you focus on other things the less you will focus on him.
Good luck!
...............................
A
male
reader, lovecrazy2008 +, writes (10 January 2011):
A little advice, I believe you maybe a little to young for this teacher. Please do not tempt this married guy, because he will probably fall for you, but in the long run, someone will probably find out about you guys relationship and bad news travel fast.
If I was you, I would stick to someone that near your age, maybe nice football players or baseball player around your age.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): It is very common and normal to have crushes on teachers at your age. Think of it as part of growing up. He looks like a personality you already admire. So you have passed the crush on to the teacher. It is only based in a sort of fantasy in your head. Try on to let it bother you. Just accept it. Nothing is going to happen with this teacher, it's impossible. Once your accept that you'll be fine.
...............................
A
female
reader, pink90 +, writes (10 January 2011):
 I know what its like having a crush, especially on a teacher... trust me it happens a lot.it is hard especially when they teach you because all you want to do is look at them all the time, i have been there!
Yes, it does affect your concentration because you know what you want, but you also know that it can never happen.
It is hard ( to tell you the truth I am going through the exact same thing, except the one I like is single and has no kids)
Just act normal around him, don't give him a reason to suspect something is wrong! otherwise he will think too much of the situation
Good Luck :)
...............................
A
female
reader, Willow88 +, writes (10 January 2011):
Lovie I feel your pain!!
I fancied a teacher sooo bad at school. He was my maths teacher and of course that meant trouble because I was bad at maths anyway and had no chance of passing if I fancied my tutor!! I eventually had to get a maths tutor outside of school to help me pass my GCSE's!!
One thing I want to say is that you're not alone. It happens to a lot of gils your age. I've been there and know how confusing it all is when you're body is going through a lot of changes.
But remember you are still a young girl - and that is how he sees you on an everyday basis. If he's sitting close to you - I'm sure he doesn't mean anything by it, he's just getting on with his day.
As you said he has a wife and kids - so please don't get heartbroken over it!! Appreciate also that you never thought this way about him until something silly happened. It's just a little crush and you'll pass through it :)
Just be careful it doesn't affect your concentration too much or your work will suffer.
Being 16 is such an important age to get your grades for your future. So don't worry about your teacher, try to ignore it if you can - it will pass.
Besides - wouldn't you prefer a boyfriend your own age who likes to do the things you do too? Not go golfing or something?!!
Hang in there - you're perfectly normal. :)
...............................
|
