A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have been going out for nearly two months now and we had our first proper argument the other day. At an inappropriate time I mentioned how sometimes she can be selfish in always doing the things she wants to do. We soon made up however but a day later she went to see a film with another couple that I really wanted to see and had delayed going to so we could go together. When she phoned to tell me what she'd been up to I ended the conversation abruptly. She knew I'd be upset about it but did it anyway. I haven't responded to her texts the day after even though she's knowingly trying to be nice. We're both quite inexperienced at long term relationships which can account for a degree of selfishness but I'm fed up going along with what she wants to do whilst ignoring what I want. I'm crazy about her and pretty sure she feels the same about me but she's more independent and used to doing things on her own. Am I in the wrong for being chilidish about it or do I have a point? All I know is it really hurt when she told me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009): Your feelings are valid - you just feel hurt that she left you out of something you wanted to share with her, that is understandable. What IS childish, though, is not communicating what your upsetness is about to her. Just ignoring her isn't going to fix your problem with her. You need to talk with her again about why you are upset. She may not fully understand what you are talking about yet. Communication is absolutely key in relationships - and it is tempting to want to run and hide when you are hurt, but you need to talk with her about it. Good luck!
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