A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:HelloI have been 'seeing' this lovely guy. He is caring, considerate, kind and all the things you could wish for in a guy. He calls and texts everyday. The only problem is I feel no chemistry with him. I should do as he is so lovely. I enjoy his company and we have kissed twice but I don't feel anything when we do. I have been seeing him for a little over a month in the hope maybe something may change. Can chemistry grow? Any advice on anyone that has been here?
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female
reader, mizz.butterflies  +, writes (17 April 2011):
 i think u cant feel chemistry with him because he makes himself way too available for you. thats kinda what im going through right now.i have so much fun with my date,but he calls and texts almost everyday,as if we are already a couple.this makes me get my defenses up.i say,give it time.
A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell +, writes (17 April 2011):
 Hey, it depends what you're looking for in this relationship. I believe Chemistry is a more instant thing, a spark you feel with someone at that moment, and it won't grow over time, it's either there or it's not. Love is different though, I'm pretty sure you can grow closer to someone romantically over time and become more attracted to them, that's usually how friends end up becoming something more, it blossoms over time. If you kiss him and feel nothing, you may be with him only because on paper, he's perfect for you but in reality, something's not right and you really want it to work between you just because he's so lovely. It would be easier if there was romance there. I get the feeling that when you say "nothing" you mean no fireworks, no spark. It's useful to have that in a relationship.Just take a minute and ask yourself why you're with him? Do you want to be with him because you feel it could go somewhere? Or, do you want to like him because he is so kind and considerate and so obviously boyfriend material?you deserve to have someone as kind and wonderful and caring as this guy, but if there's no feelings there at all, is it fair to lead him on? Or if you feel something, a small attraction, be patient and see if it blooms, he's obviously into you if he calls/texts so often! xxxx
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A
male
reader, Partyboy123  +, writes (17 April 2011):
 I do believe that people grow on you, thus saying that yes, i think that you can obtain some good chemistry with him... and kissing isn't really an exciting thing, unless its your first kiss (my first kiss went like this - my heart pounded hard, and i got all nervous, then i looked her in the eyes, grabbed her neck and pulled her in, not knowing how to kiss at all, it was just magic)... I think the more time you spend with him, the more you will begin to like him...if you do not want to spend more time with him because you do not want to wait for the feelings to come etc. i would re-evaluate what you are doing, do you like him? do you want to be with him? is he kind, and gentle? does he understand you? he is CLEARLY a guy that is a keeper, that would be a great companion for life, he sounds very similar to the way i am, i wake up in the morning, and text my girlfriend first before i do anything, then when i get to school, i go and i find her and give her a big hug and tell her i love her, then at lunch i go and find her and walk around with her, then at the end of the day before she gets on her bus to go home, i quickly gather my belongings and run to her locker... isn't that cute? (yea, and when i don't do those things she gets mad and thinks something is wrong, when yet the whole time i was just waiting to see if she would put some effort in and text me or go and find me, but she didn't :S)ALSO: i had a friend, we weren't close or anything, but she was a nice girl, and we sat beside each other in a class, i didn't really find her to be attractive or a loving person, but over the few months of school, i began to notice that she was a great friend and loving person whom i could easily see myself with... but she had a boyfriend, and my current girlfriend was in that class, but i couldn't talk to her because i was shy and she was shy, and i thought i would just screw up bad..hope i helped, stick with it i think you will find that he might be the one you are looking for.:)
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