A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok... know a lot of you will disagree with my view on this but oh well...I'm 13, and I have a boyfriend of 8 months, we really get along and we have almost everything in common, he told me he loved me and I told him I loved him too but then i felt weird because everyone always says it never lasts and that 13 year olds are too young to love so I just figured it was "puppy love" he says that he'll try everything in his power to make sure we last as long as possible, and I want it to last too. Can somebody please tell me the likeliness of 13 years olds lasting (maybe even marriage?) I know its happened before but still... Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Madeinamerica +, writes (9 September 2012):
I have been with my boyfriend since we were 12. Now we're 18(me) and 19(him). No one thought we would last...including our parents... but we have all the way through high school and now in college.
If its meant to be y'all will last.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 March 2012):
 My grandparents met in the orphanage when they were 10 and 12…. This was the early 1900s… they married over 20 years later and were married 67 years till my grandpa died…. Sure it happens but not often….
Why is it so important to you that it be the one and only at 13???
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 March 2012):
 Beat the odds? I would stop worrying about the future and enjoy the here and now. If it lasts forever, good for you two, if not, I'm sure you both will carry away a lot of fond memories and experiences.
Live life and enjoy life!
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (14 March 2012):
 Nothing is impossible and miracles do happen. If both of you really love each other and want to be with each other, nothing can stop you and I mean nothing. Dont ever listen to people who say it cant survive, who's to say that it cant happen?
Be prepared for the journey to be very difficult though, at 13 you might think you have the world at your feet and you can take on every challenge thrown your way, but as you grow older you will realize that its getting tougher. You might have to be in a different place away from him for studies, you might end up getting a job in a different city. Your priorities change with time, you will make new friends, your interests might change as might your outlook. But at the end of the day, if you realize that no matter how high you soar, you have to eventually come home to the person you cant live without, then nothing can ever separate you.
Its all in your hands. It's either the most complicated thing in the world or the most simple thing, its how you look at it. If you think you want to make it work, it will.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2012): I met my ex-girlfriend when I was 14 and we stayed together for four years, parting our ways last summer as our lives began to take very different courses and we started university. So yes, in short it is possible but as the cliche goes, maintaing any relationship is a process which requires the input and participation of both partners and a certain level of maturity. By 13 I was quite grown up in many ways (the result of a series of events that had shaped my life) as was my ex. If you are still very 'young' then there is less chance that your relationship will be long term.
That said, I wouldn't worry about your relationship being long term. Live in the present and enjoy every moment you spend together :)
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (14 March 2012):
 The odds are totally against you, Op, but, at 13, what do you care ?
Only a person in maybe a million wins the lottery, but if you don't even buy the ticket to begin with, then you are sure you are not going to win. Buy your ticket now, and don't fret about the future. If you've got the winning ticket it's fantastic, if you don't... you'll get over it like all the other thousands of people who did not win anything.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2012): I agree with the others OP. I will just add that worrying about the future of a relationship can spoil the fun of the relationship, so stop worrying about it. He could be hit by a bus tomorrow or the sun may explode and destroy us all. OP none of us know what's going to happen in life. I'm in a relationship of 7 years which could very well end tomorrow. I love her with all my heart and she does me, I'm pretty sure we'll last a long time but there is every chance no matter how small that she may not be mine tomorrow; through death, I may find out she's cheated, she may not be in love with me and may tell me tomorrow she doesn't want to be with me etc. All of these things are possible but how can I enjoy being with her today if I'm worried she won't be mine tomorrow? I wouldn't be able to so I don't worry about it, I just enjoy today and I deal with whatever life brings me tomorrow. That way I'm happy today and most likely will continue to be happy.
Life's too short to worry about stuff that might never happen.
...............................
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (14 March 2012):
 Normally, I'm all about knowing the likelihood of things working out (I'm a numbers guy; I like statistics), but in this case? I don't think it does any good to worry about it. If you really want to know, I don't think it'll work out, but the real answer is that it doesn't hurt to try.
Just run with it. If it works out forever, great; if not, you won't be the first to survive it. This is one of those "the journey is more important than the goal" things.
...............................
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (14 March 2012):
 Of course it can happen, its just really really rare. Here's some of the main reasons why;
Who you are now could be wildly different from who you'll be when you're 18, who you are when you're 18 could be wildly different from who you are when you're 21... and the same goes for your partner. Whether you'll both be compatible when you're older... its just the luck of the draw. There's just so much life and so much change ahead of you- much of which you just can't plan for. You may not like what your partner becomes and vice versa... and that's "IF" you make it through these rocky periods of change... nobody makes a mistake, does something stupid...etc.
Secondly- the amount of romantic stereotypes that society has pelted at people from every angle... even as kids... its no wonder that as soon as puberty hits that teens rush to invest wholeheartedly in their "first love". Finding "the one" is such a wildly used romantic notion in films, advertising, music etc. one can't help but get swept up in all these doors that suddenly swing open once you find someone who you adore. In a way- planning a future is half the fun... "being in love with being in love" as it were... but ultimately its as useless as tits on a bull.
Thirdly- Well... you really can't be told that your love isn't real, because there's a chance that it is indeed real... also, nobody listens anyways. I certainly remember the butterflies I'd get whenever I saw my first girlfriend around school... seemed as real as anything to me. But as much as I tried to make it last and thought that it would- it eventually crumbled.
I'm not the only one who looks back on their first love and laughs at how naive and innocent it all was. There are many many people out there much much older than you- who still can't find love... not because they're hideous or not meeting people, but because its incredibly hard to find "the one". If your school has say 200 people in it- you'd be incredibly lucky to have found "the one" from such a small pool of people... astronomically lucky. Yeah people win the lotto... but the vast majority don't... that's just impossible.
At the end of the day- if I was to give a tip on how I think a teen romance COULD possibly last- I'd say- Live for the moment. By that I mean- don't get caught up in making plans for the future, marriage, kids names, etc. etc. Just focus on each day as it comes! Have fun for god sake! If you take things one day at a time and you avoid all the added pressures that planning for the future brings then MAYBE... just maybe.. you'll both evolve in step with each other and if you're both very lucky... you could make it.
Anyhoo... that's my rather sentimental opinion.
...............................
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (14 March 2012):
 To be honest it is unlikely but not impossible at all. I don't have any personal evidence that it can happen but I do believe that it can in some cases. You just have to take it day by day and see where it takes you. That way even if it does end you can look back and be happy for what you two had.
It's not that you don't know what love is because I don't think you can define love at any age. The biggest factor that is going to play in the relationship is what you are looking for in a guy. Right now he seems right for you but in a few years your thoughts may change and that is a good thing. Dating people in different stages of your life is all part of growing up. Like I said though take it day by day. Statistics say that it won't last but that is no reason why you shouldn't love him and be happy with him for as long as you can. Just remember that if you aren't happy with him, no matter when it happens that you aren't tied down to him.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2012): Who knows, sweetie?
To me, it's one of those things that doesn't have a yes or no
and I don't think that anyone guessing the likelihood of whether or not a relationship will last is fair at all. I believe that a relationship is a relationship, regardless of age.
If your relationship with your boyfriend is good and the two of you or happy then who cares what other people say?
Just appreciate the times that you two share together
and just wait and see what happens
If it lasts then great! If it doesn't then take it in stride because the two of you are still young and have plenty of time for new love.
...............................
|
