A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years now from opposite sides of the world. We are both 18 and we have not seen each other within the last 3 years. Everything is great except for the fact that he watches perverted things like women showing off their bodies and porn like materials on websites. I know that guys do at this age watch these kinds of things but it makes me feel uncomfortable because I feel like im not good enough for him. I feel like im not pretty enough and thats why he watches these types of things. I have confronted him about this but yet he still continues to watch porn. I'm honestly disgusted by guys like that and he knows that but yet it didnt stop him. He lets me log onto his facebook and youtube account and thats great but the thing is im still unable to deal with him being a pervert. In addition to this, he has many friends (mostly girls) who he has known for many years. They hang out every single day which also makes me feel insecure about myself. I feel like him hanging out with his friends and me finding out that he watches porn like videos is driving us apart. I want to be with him very badly but my own self confidence is starting to get lower and lower each day. What should i do?? do i let him continue to do what he is doing or should i step in and say something again? i really love him very much.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2012): I think you need to be careful of equating the enjoyment of adult entertainment with being 'perverted' or 'disgusting'. You're casting a pretty big slice of the male population as being perverts.
Lets tabulate your ideal conditions for this relationship for the here and now of today:
1. a boyfriend who chooses to have zero exposure to pornography
2. a boyfriend who declines the invitation to hang out with his friends because of the risk it poses for your self esteem.
3. a boyfriend who is on the other side of the world
4. a boyfriend who is OK with not seeing you in 3 years
These conditions sound absurd.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2012): At least you know, a lot of women are unaware their boyfriend is using porn.
If you tell someone you don't like their behaviour and they continue they are not the right person.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (13 December 2012):
 The porn isn't the issue here, the issue is that you are "in a relationship" but you haven't been in a relationship in 3 years! You aren't even visiting. You either need to make plans to be together, or break up because this just isn't sustainable.
To be honest, if you have a problem with him watching porn it's probably best to break up because getting together is unlikely to make him stop.
Also this whole porn vs. cheating thing is not an actual choice. Porn doesn't prevent men from cheating.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 December 2012):
 You have not seen a teen boy/man in three years and you are expecting him to NOT watch porn at all?
If the fact that he watches porn instead of dating local girls bothers you that much, why haven’t you moved to be with him and relieve the sexual tension I’m sure he’s feeling?
I’m sorry to say this to you but you have a fantasy relationship:
You have not seen him in 3 years.
He lives on the opposite side of the world
When do you plan to see each other?
What’s the plan to end the distance?
What would you have him do instead of watch porn? Sleep with some of his girl friends?
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (12 December 2012):
 You said you were in a long distance relationship, so hes not getting any sexual attention. So he could watch porn, or he could sleep with someone else, which would you prefer? I also gave a similar answer to another asker last night - any guy who expects girls to all look like porn stars and and for sex to be like it is in porn Films is very sheltered and experienced but most guys arent like this. If he has female friends, it would be unfair for you to drive a wedge between them, because a friend is a friend. Its normal for guys to Watch porn, so i think you should calm down a bit. If it makes you so insecure, wny dont you send him some sexy pictures of yourself and see what he thinks!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2012): Well I know it's upsetting but it's no where near as upsetting as the ones that are doing it when they see their girlfriend nearly everyday. I saw my ex 4 times a week, we did stuff nearly everytime and guess what the next morning.... porn on a 40 inch hd screen set on full screen. I thought I was the only one he was looking at.
They don't stop the first time you tell them you don't like it, it takes at least 3 - 12 weeks
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