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Boyfriend expects me to have sex with him he's 14 I'm 15!

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 September 2010) 15 Answers - (Newest, 1 October 2010)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Im 15 years old,and im having problems with my boyfriend last night he asked me what my bases are and i told him and now he wants to have sex with me! he is a year younger than me too! I love him and i dont want to break up with him cause that will make me cry for years but i have no idea what to do PLEASE HELP!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks, You guys are awesome for helping me out my friends didnt even know what to do thank you so much:)

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (1 October 2010):

Honeypie agony auntHe is not "sad" - he is pissed off and trying to pull the routine of a 3 year old... You know, the one where the child either looks really sad or cries to get what they want?

It's called EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL. It mean he doesn't really respect what you said. You said no, but he "heard" a maybe yes....

Stick to your guns. Respect yourself and your own feelings and wishes.

Sounds like he ISN'T the One....

Good luck !

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (1 October 2010):

Jmtmj agony aunt"i told him no and he walked away from me all sad"

Sounds like more emotional black mail to me...

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (30 September 2010):

dirtball agony auntFollow my cardnal rule. Never do anything you aren't comfortable doing. If he walks away, then he's not worth it. A good guy would not be putting so much pressure on you.

It's natural to have crazy hormones at your age. It's natural to be sexually curious. That doesn't mean you should be having sex or sexual contact if you don't feel ready.

Take your time. I think this boy is only after one thing so I wouldn't get too attached if I were you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you guys sooo freacken much i talked to him bout this and he said 'ok we wont have sex til were like older' i said thank you so much for not forcing me but NOW!!! all he wants to do is touch my.... ya i think you know but i told him no and he walked away from me all sad what do i do bout that i know i wont let him ya but how do i deall with this:S

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010):

basically what everybody's saying is DON'T DO It he's using you... don't have sexuntil you're married. sex makes break ups worse... saving yourself until marriage saves you from this kind of crap! I know you'll ignore this comment and have sex with somebody, but whatever you do, don't have sex with a horny teenager thinking with his head in your pants

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A female reader, dmartin89 United Kingdom +, writes (29 September 2010):

dmartin89 agony auntHe is trying to emotionally blackmail you!!

Dont have sex with him. Wait until you are atleast of legal age and you are with someone who respects you and your decisions.

Dont let this guy bully you into doing something you arnt totally sure about.

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (29 September 2010):

Jmtmj agony auntI agree with what birdynumnums said...

"This is sexual blackmail. Not love."

If you're in love with somebody, you don't sexually blackmail them... ever.

He's thinking with his johnson, not with his heart and I think you'll be so disappointed with yourself if you sleep with him simply because you're afraid to lose him... but I think you already know that.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (29 September 2010):

Honeypie agony auntTell him no. It's really simple even if it may seem hard to do. You are not ready, and THAT is OK!

If he then breaks up with you for telling him no, you know he really didn't love you or care for you. When you LOVE &CARE for someone you respect them, you don't try and force them to do stuff they aren't really ready or willing to do.

If you DO go ahead and have sex to please him, you will regret it and honestly, honey, there is NO guaranty that he will stay with you after you have had sex. And you will begin a cycle of letting people WALK all over you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010):

I don't think you should give into him. Its just not right. When I was 16 my ex boyfriend want to have sex but I kept say no and no. Then one day I gave it and we did, it hurt and I didn't enjoy it at all. Well the next day he broke up with, saying that he need a break. I should of kept saying no and not gave it out. Because now I can't get it back and I wish I could. So take your time and don't give into him. Wait to your ready, and if he likes you, he will wait for you. Trust me and don't give it out to just anyone. Make sure you love him and he loves you.

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A male reader, Riddled United States +, writes (29 September 2010):

You'll regret it if you do it

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A female reader, followtheblackrabbit Cayman Islands +, writes (29 September 2010):

followtheblackrabbit agony auntListen hon, he's fourteen. His hormones (like yours) are raging and he's putting pressure on you to experience sex.You are both too young. At fourteen with my bf we were out biking, hitting the movies, and being HUGE goofballs. Not to say that we never wanted sex because that's normal, everyone feels those urges when they kiss someone special. But, we held back. He was ready, I wasn't and he understood that. Someone who truly loves you will never try to push you into something you're not ready for. Tell him you luv him but aren't ready. If he gets angry or tries to pressure you, he does not love you and only wants sex. In which case, you will cry for years if you let him have his way and he didn't care. Hon, don't EVER let anyone force you to do what you feel isn't right. Sex is serious. It's not a game. You are trusting once you lose your virginity, you will NEVER get it back. Trust me, it will be so much more wonderful when you are ready. If he breaks you with you over this, he's not your love.

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A female reader, deejuliet United States +, writes (29 September 2010):

deejuliet agony auntThat's easy. You just tell him that you care about him, but you are not ready for sex. If he actually cares about you in return that will be just fine with him. Chances are this is exactly what will happen. Just because he asked for sex does not mean he actually expects it. He may figure that it doesnt hurt to try.

If it isnt ok with him then he is a scumbag and a jerk who is just using you and doesnt give a crap about you. Do not fall for the idiotic line, "well, if you loved me you would have sex with me". Just turn the tables in that case and say, "well, if YOU loved ME, you would not pressure me to have sex when I am not ready!!"

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (29 September 2010):

birdynumnums agony auntTell your Mom. This guy is being to sexually aggressive. Guys will push for sex, and girls think that they will love them in return. What often happens is the guys GETS the sex, and breaks up with you. Not really worth the heartache at your age. This is sexual blackmail. Not love.

You think you will cry for years, but you won't. Your true love is probably years away into your future. Consider saving yourself for someone who will truly love you...

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (29 September 2010):

dirtball agony auntIf you don't want to have sex, then DON'T have sex. I actually suggest you not have sex regardless due to your age.

If he breaks up with you because you won't have sex with him, he was nothing but a jerk who was trying to use you and you're better off without him.

How long have you been dating? Please drop the drama. You won't "cry for years" if you break up. I know you're at a point in your life where you feel things at a very intense level, but try and give yourself a little perspective here too.

NEVER NEVER NEVER RUSH INTO SEX IF YOU AREN'T READY!!!

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