A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I know this sounds like another dumb girl asking a birth control question but I can't find any relevant information on this. I've tried the pill. I've tried Nuva Ring. Hormonal birth control makes me gain weight and kills my sex drive. Plus the possible side effects scare the heck out of me. No boyfriend wants to wear condoms and, thruthfully, I don't like them either. For the past few months, I've been using the Today sponge along with having him pull out. It seems like a reasonable compromise. Shouldn't the spermicide in the sponge kill any sperm in the pre-cum? He's not ejaculating inside me. Is there anyone in the health care field who can comment? I can't find any info about the effectiveness of these two methods together. If this is fairly reliable, I'd like to stick with it.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 April 2017):
 No boyfriend wants to wear condoms? You won't be saying that when you end up with some nasty STI. Honestly the only thing that can protect you from catching diseases is condoms. Yes your methods may prevent you from getting pregnant, but it could still be possible that both methods will fail. I think you should talk to your own doctor.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 April 2017):
 Do you have a steady cycle? If so, then charting your ovulation would benefit you, but I do agree with other user here, don't get me wrong. You should use other contraception in addition. By him pulling out, or by using spermicide, you would decrease the chances of getting pregnant by as much as using a condom would. Especially if you have a long cycle (more safe days). If you have a short cycle, such as I do (only 23 days on average), then half the cycle is considered fertile. So in my case that would mean needing condoms half the time. But if you have a cycle of 30 or so days, then you'd only need condoms for 1/3 of the cycle.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2017): Sperm can live for 5-7 days inside you, so say you have been charting your fertility and know you're due to ovulate on the 14th of next month you should avoid any unprotected intercourse from the 7th. Once you ovulate the egg will generally be ready for fertilisation for 24 hours before that window of opportunity closes. So it can be 8-9 days out of a month where you either have no intercourse or use condoms for that time.
I WOULD NOT recommend at your age (18-21) relying on charting your fertility and not having a back up method of contraception. Have a coil inserted, or try different pills as they all affect each woman differently and there are many types with many slight adjustments in dosage that could work for you.
I got fed up of taking a pill, but only stopped taking it when an unplanned pregnancy would not have been a concern for me and my husband. At your age you want a few more years to know yourself better and know your relationship is secure before bringing a child into the world.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (22 April 2017):
Spermicide and pulling out should do the trick. Im surprised though, can't you find the statistics and information online?
You can talk to your doctor about this, they will know what is the best option for you. There are just so many factors to include also, you know. Such as your fertility. If you're a super fertile woman, and he is a super fertile man, then it might not be enough protection. It's not 100%. The only thing that is 100% is to not have sex. Honestly. But if you have low fertility, or even just average, it might be plenty!
I would recommend you start to chart your cycle, to find out how long your cycle is and when you ovulate. This will allow you to learn about your own fertility, and when your fertile window is. Then on those fertile days you can use a condom in addition, and then for the remaining days you use spermicide and pulling out. Get a thermometer and start charting. There's free sites such as fertilityfriend.com that you can use, or just make your own chart. Read up about ovulation and finding out when you ovulate. It's not only of benefit for those trying to get pregnant, but also for those trying to avoid it! I wish someone had taught me about this sooner, really... Because I too dislike hormonal birth control and condoms.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (22 April 2017):
 No boyfriend wants to wear condoms? Does said boyfriend want to be a parent and take on the financial, physical and emotional responsibility of having a child?
You don't like them either? Do you like the thought of getting pregnant?
Seriously, "liking" should not come into it. Condoms are still one of the best methods of birth control available, with no side effects (unless you are unlucky enough to be allergic to them which you don't say you are) and also provide the best protection against STIs. I smiled that you veer away from certain contraceptives because of the possible side effects but don't seem to have the same worries about picking up STIs.
I don't know if anyone on this forum is an expert in birth control (I certainly am not!) but nobody knows your medical history so, even if they knew what they were talking about in terms of the birth control, they could miss something vital not knowing anything about YOU. This is something you should be discussing with an EXPERT - not looking on the internet where you will get different information on different sites and be left confused.
For the record, the only people I have known who have used the withdrawal method as a contraceptive, are all now . . . yes, you guessed it - PARENTS.
This is something which could affect your health and/or your whole future, not to mention the life of a child. DIY birth control - unless it is basic and reliable, like condoms - is not for untrained amateurs. You really need to get professional advice if you are hell bent on not using condoms.
Just my advice as someone much older than you who would not like to see you ruin your life because you are dabbling in birth control like it is a pick-&-mix sweetie counter.
Stay safe.
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (22 April 2017):
 If you want the math on your odds, according to Planned Parenthood 9-12 out of every 100 women who use ONLY the sponge as a contraceptive for one year will become pregnant. And approximately 27 out of every 100 women who use ONLY the withdrawal method will become pregnant. In your case, you'd need both methods to fail during the same encounter in order to become pregnant. So mathematically the odds of a pregnancy in one year of using both together would range from .09 x .27 (.03, or 3 percent) to .12 x .27 (.033, or 3.3 percent). Not terrible, but also not worry-free, because if you're one of those 3 or 4 out of 100 women you either end up having a baby or having an abortion, and neither of the methods you're currently using offers you any protection from STIs. Again, I'd strongly suggest talking to your GYN about what some of your other options might be. Hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (22 April 2017):
Just a friendly reminder that a boyfriend not liking condoms doesn't entitle him to have sex with you without one.
Now that that's out of the way... if you're looking for a reliable way to prevent pregnancy, using two semi-reliable methods together will definitely drop the risk lower than it would be using either method all by itself. But what you're counting on doesn't just take commitment from you, it takes commitment from your partner to pull out every time BEFORE he ejaculates. Otherwise you're effectively back to relying on a method that doesn't have a great track record as a standalone method of BC. If your boyfriend isn't mature enough to entertain the notion of also having some responsibility when it comes to contraception (i.e. wearing condoms even though he doesn't like them because being a parent before he's ready would be worse) then I'd hesitate to trust that he will pull out properly each time when it feels so much better not to. Be cautious relying on that.
If STIs are genuinely not a concern in the relationship I'd suggest looking into a non-hormonal (copper) IUD, which has a much lower failure rate than either of the methods you're combining and can be effective for up to 10 years. But honestly, the best person to consult about this would be your regular gynecologist, because he or she solves these things for a living AND knows all your personal health history.
Good luck and best wishes!
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