A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:okok so ive been chatting online for 2 weeks with a lovely girl - shes 26..gorgeous. funny. intelligent. etc... after a week, she confided that she had a bf.. i was super chilled. said wow he must be awesome. i hope he appreciates what he has... she started droppin hints that all was not bliss at Camelot.. we chat everyday at work - and have for the last week. (I let her contact me first so im not bein too eager..)last week she said her boss was around, so i took that as a fun invitation to ask for her cell, so we could use sms - she sort of dk'd me (not a no. but just didnt reply the rest of that final hour before closing time) (ok. it happens) - two days like that (second day tho she was still drunk at work from a latttte night out) so third day, i sent a email that morning sayin 'hey, didnt mean to be aggressive. just was more thinking like a school kid it would be 'fun to pass notes' etc (you know.. make light of it) (no pressure)..she replied quickly saying she wasnt offended at all n stuff.. and we started chattin again that day.this week, we chatted monday. i didnt chase her tues - just chilled , but didnt see her online all day, so at closing -send her a 'hows it goin - didnt see u round today' email.today wed - she came on, and sparked up a chat with me. and told me she broke up with her bf. she also told me that she usually has someone else lined up in situations like this but doesnt right now. and we proceeded to (again) get on like a house on fire.i was gonna ask her today 'hey so ..is that why you didnt give me your number last week..' -- but i decided to GO SLOW . i did NOT ask that.question for the room :are these the positive signs im reading them as?(i could interperate the no phone last week, as not much interest. or being 'loyal' to her 'then bf' - at which point -given the rapport thats building again, plus the things shes said-- maybe i should ask again?(today we talked about sports and as well as her giving me her email. she suggested we do go skiing together sometime soon)...
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at work, broke up, drunk, spark Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2011): Does she know your age? Because you do not sound like a man in the 41-50 age group at all.
And why do you think it's OK to talk sexually when you know she has a BF? I just don't understand you line of thinking, it comes off as a little creepy.
Seems to me that you assume if you talk well enough she will eventually be mad with desire to met you, and she on the other hand talk to you because she loves the attention.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionso update:
a week has gone by... we have gotten very very close with our daily , all day chats..!! even talking and flirting sexually now...
friday she said she would not see me tho this weekend as they are taking one final weekend to think about what they each want etc...(he wants to try again. shes unsure what she feels etc)
i said ''awww well i hope it works out then, he is a lucky guy and i hope he lets you know that. and that his attitude improves and that he SHOWS you how much you mean to him vs just SAYing it''
she said 'i love talking to you , you make me feel special'
i said , and i wont be afraid to tell you myself if he doesnt..
we did a lot of banter after that, and i eentually asked do you wanna do something this weekend. she said 'ill just answer by saying 'it wouldnt be right'
i understand - i replied.
am glad you do she said. and also think of him, he would not like it if...
i simply said, thats cool in fact its awesome - ive gotten to know alot about you these past weeks, but in the past 5min, ive learned soemthign that i think is the most valuable... the kind of thing that would allow me to sleep peacefully at nite - even ifyou wer out with your girlfriends painting the town red....
she was floored.
i said - thats why i didnt push for your fone number earlier too.. out of respect..
i added 'if and when... well thats another story. but this just confirms a number of attractive things about you and sets a foundation that is worth something..
tomorrow i shall purposefully be absent from chat (busy day) - so for tues, i should have something to share..
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (1 December 2011):
 I think you are being played and are wasting your time.
You are a "fantasy" for her and she isn't interested in you in "that" way, sorry.
The fact that she claim she normally has a "replacement" "lined up" sounds absolutely skanky.
If you are jsut looking for a quick shag in the hay, she might be your girl. Specially if she gets something out of it..
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (1 December 2011):
 Hi,
You are a nice guy, I like the fact that you are not too aggressive, give her space, and specially after knowing that she had a bf, you were very respectful.
Nobody knows the real reason why she didn't give you her number? To me, I think she was being respecful to her now ex-bf. Doesn't matter, what matters is that she's still talking to you... So far, you are doing everything right...
My suggestion is to continue talking to her, whatever way is convenient for her. Do not pressure her, because she just broke up with her bf. Like you said; keep it light. But, I think she might have some interest in you.. Her behavior makes me believe so...
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (1 December 2011):
Seems like she is looking for a man to take care of her seeing as she didn't have someone lined up already.She seems like a party girl. Manipulative. A user who is using sex appeal to take advantage of the next willing man she's lined up......which, your question seems to indicate, seems to be you.I wonder, what is your number in line? How many men before you? Not that it matters to her. Just proceed with extreme caution, if you proceed at all. I have a strong feeling that if you decide to proceed with her, you won't be the last man standing. She is not ready to commit to anything. She is the kind of woman who is only thinking of herself. This is how she is. She has a boyfriend, but USUALLY has another guy waiting. At least she was kind enough to let you know that she uses men before you pursue her.
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