A
male
age
41-50,
*azz1
writes:hi all, hope someone can help.it has been two years since a have fallen for a work collegue. we could not be any more different. im 33 and she is 48. i am white and she is black. and here is the big bomb shell...... she is married.anyway, i tell her all the time how i feel about her and that i think about her alot. she seems to like that and in the last 7/8 months she has been telling me the same. we went out on a few dates and i bought her some gifts and meal etc etc. she said she would like to see pics of me naked which i sent her a few and she says that i make her hot whenever she thinks about me.we have kissed alot and she has touched me in a few places but wont let me touch her.she has had a few relationships while being married before and she says that if she met me two years earlier we could of had something but she is not interested in anything more than just friendship.the way she acts with me do you think thats friendship?not many people at work talk to her so even though she tells me that she thinks about me all the time and thinks about us making love together would i be right to think that she does not mean what she says and that she is just saying that to keep me as a friend? or does anyone else think that she is telling the truth that she really likes me?we work together everyday and i just dont know what to do about this.my mind is messed up and i just cant stop thinking about her and i hope that she is telling me the truth and not saying these things to string me along.i hope for some help and opinions on here.thanks in advance
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at work, married woman Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2010): You are being used. I am sorry to say that I have been used twice by the same woman. The first time ended my marriage, and then she told me that her husband changed. Then 10 years later she found me through someone else and I fell for it again. This time it was the voids that her husband left. Now, well, he is filling those voids himself. I am ashamed that I actually fell in love with this woman and allowed myself to be used, not once, but twice. And yet, a certain honor still exists that I can never betray her to her own husband. Dont walk, but run away as fast as you can.
A
male
reader, kazz1 +, writes (4 August 2010):
kazz1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question hi everyone.
would just like to let you all know that i have taken your advice and have completly backed off. she does not seem to be the slightest bit bothered about it which tells me that she does not have any real or meaninfull feelings for me.
its been 3 days now and am finding it tough as im so attracted to her but i know its the right thing to do.
you have been a real insparation to me with your thoughts and words and i have read them everyday since posting my issue on here.
i just wish to say many thanks to you all.
take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010): Please! Let her go. What are you thinking! She is married and cheating on her husband with you. Even if she divorced for you, she would cheat on with someone else! She is in middle life crisis and likes your attention. She IS stringing you along, by having an emotional affair on her husband. She is older and more experience and as you said this not her first time to cheat on her husband so you are not SPECIAL (sorry but I want you to get it). If she wants to be with you she would deal with her marital problems/her unhappiness before starting anything with you. Don't be part of it, it will create an unhealthy work atmosphere for both of you. Find yourself a single girl with no such baggage, don't waste your life on this.
Think before hard before you get involved with this unstable person.
Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010): Get out of this unhealthy relationship! She is using you for free meals, gifts and for the adventure! She is not your friend! A "friend" would not do this to you!! Think about that!! When you are at work, you have to behave/act professional. She is your work colleague so leave that way. I know that it'll be difficult for you to end this so called friendship with this person but you should.
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A
female
reader, myworld2010  +, writes (30 July 2010):
It seems that she doesn't want you in that manner. She probably just enjoys your company (something she's not getting from her husband). A lot of times women who have been married for a while still get attracted to different people and tend to want some affection from someone other than their spouse. You probably are that somebody at work to keep it fun (but safe). It's not a black or white issue. I don't think she gonna give you the draws because she would have by now. She already messed up by kissing you. Why not go all the way. You seem to have deep feelings for this lady and you might want to just break it off. You can still be friends but no touching. That's a no-no. Save your heart.
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A
female
reader, WhateverMovesThee +, writes (30 July 2010):
 Well, she's married and that's a red flag from the first. I think she's attracted to you and enjoys the attention but is playing at being coy by telling you she wants friendship and then blatantly flirting with you. I wouldn't pursue a relationship with her, again, she's married and affairs almost never end up well. You wouldn't be the first affair she's had either and that sort of indicates that she's just playing the field behind her husband's back. She may truly like you, but the fact that she's married would ruin anything that comes from this. You could end up getting seriously hurt. Back away, date available women who can give you more than she can. You deserve that.
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A
female
reader, saskatchewanna +, writes (30 July 2010):
My advice is that you end whatever it is that is going on between you. For one, she is married. If she wasn't happy in her marriage, she would have left, already, so the chances of you two ever actually being together are not so much in your favour. As well as that, there is the obvious fact that there is another person to consider- her husband. I think it's honestly in your best interest to end this and find someone who is available and who will give you the kind of relationship you're looking for. Otherwise, things will continue with this woman, as they are, and you could seriously get hurt when the relationship doesn't go in the direction you're hoping for. You also deserve more than that! Believe it and get it.
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