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... Send *SAddict a private message | | | *SAddict's profile:I'm 18, live in SC. I have depression and that holds me back sometimes. I love this site and love to give advice though I rarely follow my own. I hope my advice helps someone and if it does, I'm happy. If not, at least I can say I tried. If you ever want to talk send me a message. I'm always here :). |
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Why is my cousin so judgmental about the men that I date?
Q. Hello Cupid! I met a 28-year-old distant cousin at a family reunion two years ago and we instantly clicked. At the time she was living in NY, and we would talk on average 3 to 4 times a week, sometimes more. And the majority of the conversation...
A. 22 July 2011: Then don't follow her advice. She's probly thinking that she's helping and that you two have the same desires when looking for a man. But since you don't like this, tell her how you feel. It's not her right to judge who you date based on what her ... (read in full...)
Can I tell from her poonani if she's sleeping with other men??
Q. I am 25 years ols and very healthy.I am dating a female who is 35 years old and mother of two.I have sex with her twice a month.She is seperated fom her husband.Our sexual relationship is going fine.I am planning to settle with her.I sometimes feel ...
A. 22 July 2011: Checking her underwear won't get you anywhere. This seems like you're trying to control her. This is worse than just asking her. Don't check her underwear. It's an invasion of privacy and just a creepy thing to do to someone else's underwear. If you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't take me out because I don't drink!
Q. Hello, is this justified? I can't drink, and I have a very good memory. So if someone does something stupid, I would remember it for a very long time. Because of this, my boyfriend doesn't take me along when he goes drinking with his friends (bot...
A. 22 July 2011: Your boyfriend is unjustified. People have certain preferences on everything and he can't exclude you because they don't go along with his. There are plenty of reasons why you two are together and you care for one another. Just because you don't ... (read in full...)
I made a mistake and our relationship has never recovered, should I give up or keep trying?
Q. i am in relationship in about 4 yrs and 5 months now,but my bf is different now,he is not like before i know i had made a mistake with him,becus last dec,2010 i had sex with a black man ,(but he know about it becus i met that person in internet ...
A. 22 July 2011: Well you can't expect for your relationship to be the same after what you did. Don't try to force him to trust you. He needs to heal and recover in his own time. He's still with you after what you did, so this isn't something to be complaining ... (read in full...)
Is this the end of things between us?
Q. I've been dating my girlfriend for almost 2 years now,but I've just realised that its a one way relationship in the sense that she is not committed,she gets angry/defensive when I confront her about her wrong doings.Now we are always in arguments ...
A. 22 July 2011: If she's not willing to put any effort into the relationship, then it's time you end things. Talk to her and ask her what she wants from this relationship and if she's willing to work on it. Things are going to stay the same unless you both talk ... (read in full...)
Would you remain friends with an ex who was unfaithful and disrespectful towards you?
Q. I broke up with my girlfriend about 3 months ago because I felt she was not loyal to me. She wanted to spend a lot of time with her three times ex boyfriend whom she claimed they are just friends. She was also spending a lot of time with another ...
A. 22 July 2011: Since you still have feelings for her, it really wouldn't be the best idea to hang out with her. If she had no respect and love for you as an ex, what makes you think she'll be a good friend? Some people like that can manage to be friends with their ... (read in full...)
Partner is gender confused. Am I doing the right thing by staying with him? Need some help!
Q. I feel im in a real dilema. I just really dont know what to do for the best. My partner i have been with now for over 2 years told me after about a year of being with him that wearing womens clothes is something he has always wanted to do from a ...
A. 21 July 2011: I don't have much experience on this subject but I'll try if you allow. Do you accept his behavior or have you just learned to tolerate it? It seems like this isn't something that settles with you and you need to tell your boyfriend.
Of course ther... (read in full...)
It really bothers me that he's having a family with someone other than me
Q. I have a problem. Back in January, I was told by a guy on facebook that my on again off again boyfriend and father of my three year son was seeing another woman while he was trying to work things out with me. At first I wasn't bothered by it since ...
A. 21 July 2011: If he's cheated on you then why are you still thinking about being with him? This guy has no more respect for you than he does the other woman because he has no respect for women at all. If you want to stay with this guy, then you're just going to ... (read in full...)
I broke up with him but don't even know who is in the wrong anymore!
Q. I ended things for good with a guy last week- after 5 months of seeing each other he told me he didn't think it was ever going to work. He couldn't give me a reason why so I told him I didn't want anything to do with him anymore. The only reason I...
A. 21 July 2011: You did the right thing. He knew what you wanted and just took advantage of your time and got your hopes up. Don't feel bad about it. He didn't even want to try to change his attitude when you told him how you felt. Be with someone who's willing to ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend broke up with me because I"m annoying and his ex told him to do it!
Q. Dear Cupid, My bf broke up with me because he find me 'aanoying'. He discussed with his ex and he thinks I'm not the one for him. So she advised him to break up..and so he did. I begged and asked for another chance to change and he doesnt w...
A. 21 July 2011: Don't be with this guy. He's not mature enough to be with you. He can't make his own decisions and doesn't know what he wants, so leave.... (read in full...)
I love him but life is passing me by. I don't know how much longer I can wait around hoping things will change.
Q. Hey Guys I have a dilemma. My bf and I have been going out for 5 years now and I've reached a point where I'm seriously starting to question where this relationship is going. Our problem is that we're not financially equipped to marry or even re...
A. 21 July 2011: This guy isn't going to do anything. He's said it so many times before for so long, but nothing has changed and it's going to stay that way. I think you need to move on. It would be different if he was trying but he's not and he can't even make his ... (read in full...)
Do you ever wonder if your relationship is over?
Q. Do you ever feel like your relationship is over, but not sure why or how it got to a point where it is... like if there is nothing left on the relationship.. My bf and I had been fighting for some time now; I would say for about 6 months now. We ...
A. 21 July 2011: This isn't going to last unless you start communicating about what made you fight in the first place. And that doesn't seem to be happening, so unless you two are willing, you need to end it. Talking isn't and shouldn't be overrated. It's one of the ... (read in full...)
Are my worries about being smelly normal?
Q. I am in a relationship with a guy three years my junior. We have been great friends for a long while before committing and have been dating for almost four months now. Things are going extremely well except for the sexual aspect. He is a Christian ...
A. 21 July 2011: Well if you're worried about it being smelly and you have no infections, then just wash before he fingers you. But if you feel pressured, then why do it? If he can wait until marriage to have sex, then he can wait until you're comfortable to do ... (read in full...)
Together 8 months and B/f still has no idea if he loves me?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together 8 months now and he still has no clue if he loves me and I would do anything to have him say he loves me back and I never nag him to love me cause I want it all to come naturally when its time but its really ...
A. 21 July 2011: There's no deadline or time frame for when you should say 'I love you'. He obviously cares for you a lot since he's still with you. Just be happy with that and don't make him feel like he has to say it. Some people take a long time to say it and ... (read in full...)
How do you know when you're over your ex?
Q. So my ex and I have been broken up for 3 months now, and we havent talked to each other in awhile cause i felt like i needed my space in order to move on....My question is how do you know when your over your ex?...
A. 21 July 2011: When you hardly think about him anymore, or if you do then you feel nothing at all.... (read in full...)
Why is it me that has to arrange everything and do all the chasing?
Q. Hi, Ive been seeing this women for 4 weeks now. We have been out on several dates (ice skating, dinner, theme park) and I have arranged another where we will go horse riding for an hour or so. The thing is I quite like her, but it seams as ...
A. 21 July 2011: Next time, don't do anything. Just sit back and let her call you. And if she doesn't, then she's probly waiting on you or just isn't interested. But she has to be interested since she hasn't turned down any dates. If you end up waiting too long, ... (read in full...)
I'm Tired of Being my Mother's Mother
Q. My mom is bipolar, and I've been trying to take care of her since before I can remember. My dad was a workaholic, so he was never home to do it. About 3 years ago, he started trying to rejoin the family. Now, he takes care of her, like he should, ...
A. 21 July 2011: I think you should talk to your parents and tell them exactly what you've said here. Your mother has no right to be unreasonable. You've done a lot for her and you deserve the time you can get to yourself. Tell her to stop being selfish and think ... (read in full...)
Can I get into college?
Q. Hey Everyone, I finished my freshman year in high school this past June. My GPA was a 3.15. I was just wondering, is this a bad GPA? Will colleges still look at me for acceptance? I don't want to got an Ivy league or anything, but I do want to go to...
A. 21 July 2011: You have a pretty good GPA so don't worry about that and make sure it stays that way or higher until you graduate. But if you want to raise it, try some extra-credit projects in all your classes, if your teachers have any. Study more but don't cram ... (read in full...)
I'm 18 and still a virgin
Q. Am 18 high school senior and still a virgin. My friends aren't virgins though, it really bothers me that am a virgin not because my friends aren't but because I wanna experience what sex is like. I dont know if its oyt of curiosity or blueballs. Coz ...
A. 21 July 2011: It doesn't matter if you're a virgin or not. You're only 18 so you have plenty of time. And most people do lie about that, but if they aren't, then don't worry. Your time will come.... (read in full...)
How do I make him get the hint he's starting to creep me out
Q. Hi guys! I'm in need of some advice. Sorry if this is a repeat, I accidentally posted before I finished typing it the first time! 2 months ago I met a guy through some friends. Ran into him again at a mutual friend's b-day party and we ended up ...
A. 21 July 2011: Just be honest and tell him you're not interested in him at all, that you never have been, never will be and would prefer for him not to contact you(if that's what you prefer). It may be harsh but someone this persistent needs to be told the truth. ... (read in full...)
We split-up but I'm confused as to what he wants...
Q. im so confussed, me and my ex boyfriend split about 2 months ago. we stop contacted for about a month but then got back in contact. we have been talking and texting but both said we cant get back together. but one night on a night out i seen...
A. 21 July 2011: Leave this guy alone. If you didn't work out, then why stay in contact with this guy. The fact that he still loves you doesn't matter because he's not doing anything to show it besides making false promises/ get your hopes up. So move on and find ... (read in full...)
Why are so many women so selfish? Even the great ones we love dearly!
Q. MY question is why do women expect us men to give them everything and anything they want that makes them happy, but they won't give us the simplest thing to make us happy; a blow job!? We go to all sorts of lengths, taking an interest in your...
A. 21 July 2011: You can't call your woman selfish for having certain preferences on what she wants to do in the bedroom. It's just a blowjob. It's not like if she doesn't do it, you're going to die tomorrow. Don't smash women in general just because your woman ... (read in full...)
Once a Cheater always a Cheater is this true ?
Q. I've been friends with my sons father since I was 4 yrs old. Best friends, we started dating when I was 14 and dated right up until 2 yrs ago (I was 19 at the time). Up until that point everything was perfect relationship wise. We both went through ...
A. 20 July 2011: If he was willing to cheat on you while you were pregnant and needed him the most, then things aren't going to change if you forgive him. Don't let him keep using you. Just because he says he did all those things doesn't mean that his mindset on ... (read in full...)
I cheated but feel no guilt...should I stay or should I go?
Q. My girlfriend and I are having intimacy problems. We've been together for 5 years. It seems to me like things fizzled very early in our relationship. She is perfect in so many ways, but this is killing me. She's 28 and I'm 30. which means its almost ...
A. 20 July 2011: If she doesn't enjoy being intimate with you, then you should leave. Intimacy is important both physically and emotionally and it's really rude to say those things while you're getting intimate. I think you don't feel guilty because you're just not ... (read in full...)
What's the best way to make her think, and choose me?
Q. I've been fooling around with my classmate for long months now. Each time we went out, we ended up in bed together (not having sex, just petting and cuddling). She's in a long term relationship with someone else. Back when I started to fancy her, I ...
A. 20 July 2011: Since we can't tell you to move on, I guess you should just give her some space. I don't really think that her not contacting you will make her leave her boyfriend. And I always say this, but if you do get together, how do you know she won't have an ... (read in full...)
Does she want to have an affair with me?
Q. Hi Cupids. I am a married man and I am friendly with a married woman whose daughter is in gymnastics with my two daughters. Recently she has been confiding in me about how her husband and her don't do things together and that she is unhappy...
A. 20 July 2011: If she's really that unhappy in her marriage, she would've divorced by now. Don't get dragged into anything and just keep it at a friendship level. You have a family, so don't give it up for an affair that probly won't last.... (read in full...)
His spoiled teenage son is making me into the scapegoat!
Q. I live in a split family. I have three kids and my husband has one at home.. I am so frusterated because I demand my kids have respect for their stepfather and I never say anything when he steps in to disciplines them.. I on the other hand ...
A. 20 July 2011: Talk to your husband. You don't deserve to be disrespected by his son. He should be defending you. Talk to your husband, and hopefully you two will agree that things need to change. And then both of you can sit down with him and have a serious talk. ... (read in full...)
If I can't handle being apart for 11 days, how can I be cut out to be an army wife?
Q. For a while now I have been dating an Army Man. We have been apart for 11 days now and it just feels like I can't function sometimes. We have talked about marriage but I'm a little scared, if I'm going through the motions after only 11 days, am I ...
A. 20 July 2011: Give yourself time. Don't plan to get married yet. If you can't handle 11 days, then you surely can't handle being apart months at a time. Just enjoy being with him, and while he's gone, find some new hobbies, hang out with family and friends, read ... (read in full...)
So should I worry about this magazine?
Q. Advice please. My wife dated this guy in 2003 - 2004. We started dating in 2004 and got married in 2005. Early in 2006, this guy called my in-laws to get our phone number. They were smart enough not to give it out, but to get his number and pass ...
A. 20 July 2011: This guy is no good and your wife should've threw out the magazine. Why she didn't would be a very nice thing to know. I think you should throw out the magazine and ask her why she decided to look at it. It's just a magazine, but at the same time ... (read in full...)
Do I really have to "treat her mean to keep her keen"?
Q. I'll try and boil it down to basics. There's a girl who I really like due to many reasons; she's extremely attractive but the main being that we connect on many levels. Whenever I talk to her, it seems like we've known each other for ages, not ju...
A. 20 July 2011: Being mean will get you nowhere except dumped. Don't change your attitude to get somewhere. If she's smart enough, she'll know that you're the type of person she should look for/be with. Keep being yourself.... (read in full...)
I hate her, and want revenge for what she did to me...what do I do with these feelings?
Q. Hi Aunts, Long story short, a woman I met lied to me, took money from me, and treated me like dirt. She refuses to acknowledge she did anything wrong. I gave her about $5000 because she said she was in dire need. She led me on. Turns out she was ...
A. 20 July 2011: That was a horrible thing she did, but I think you should take it as a lesson learned. If I were you, I would definitely want to get revenge. But nothing good is going to come out of it. Don't stoop to her level. Just make sure she never comes in ... (read in full...)
Do I need to tell him about the drunken hickey incident?
Q. I have a friend of mine who started dating someone who before I got engaged, I had a drunken make out with and even had the old "mistake of a hickey happen". I never talked about it with the girl and it was so awkward because I was so embarrased ...
A. 20 July 2011: It was just a kiss, not sex. So there's no need for him to know. It was in the past and it's not like you and the girl wanted to, had you been sober. So don't tell him. It's not a big deal.... (read in full...)
This guy is madly in love with me....but I have no idea who he is!
Q. Dear-cupid, From 2-3 days one guy is messaging me. I don't know who that guy is.When I asked him, he said that he came to my city for studies 6 months back ,he saw me and fell for me. I'm 16 years old. He is 17. He got my number from one of his ...
A. 20 July 2011: First, he can't be in love with you if he hasn't gotten to know you. Maybe he really likes your looks and took it as love, even though it's only infatuation. The decision to give this guy a chance is up to you. But don't get too serious too fast. ... (read in full...)
What's the best way to let someone down?
Q. I have a hard time dealing with guys whom I'm not interested in. On the one side, I do not want to hurt them on the other side I do not want to lead them on. I have done the latter (not on purpose!) and I have seen that this ends up hurting a person ...
A. 20 July 2011: Just tell them ' I'm sorry but I'm not interested. It would be best if we don't see each other'. Either way you say it, the person can't avoid being hurt. So that's just one way to do it. Hope I helped.... (read in full...)
Should I wear my contacts on my date tomorrow?
Q. Quick question, I have a date tomorrow with this guy and every time he has seen me i've had my contacts in, I'm wondering should i wear them again tomorrow or not? I'm just thinking if this turns into anything, wouldn't he rather see what i look ...
A. 20 July 2011: Contacts don't make a person fake. They're for eyesight so anyone who thinks you're fake because of them aren't worth your time. If you can see fine without them, then let him see your natural eyes. I'm sure he won't make a big deal of it.... (read in full...)
He has a G/f. But he flirts with me. Could he like me as more than a platonic friend?
Q. I have a very good guy friend. He's got all the typical qualities someone would look for in a guy--funny, sweet, smart, attractive. Whenever I'm around him, all i can think about is that if he kissed me right then I'd kiss him back and that's how ...
A. 20 July 2011: Try to move on. He has a girlfriend and just because he's not sure he made the right choice doesn't mean he didn't. And if he's going to flirt with you while with her, what makes you think things will be different if you two get together? Move on ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is immature...will he ever change?
Q. Me and my boyfriend of two years have a child. He's 23 and I'm 21 he has another child with a woman out of state. He doesn't work, he's on unemployment and is going to school. It seems as if I'm doing all the work with the baby and with trying to ...
A. 20 July 2011: Move on. Have you talked to him about this? If you haven't, then do so. But if you have, then move on because he's not taking your feelings into consideration. Communication is important in a relationship and he's not reciprocating it. He also ... (read in full...)
If a woman already likes you, does it really matter what you say to them?
Q. Hope its ok to ask quite a short and simple question: Ive been told by a friend that in regards to a woman, when talking to them it doesnt really matter what you say, if they already like you, thats half the battle won. Us men can say some ...
A. 20 July 2011: It does matter what you say to them. Even though they like you, they're not going to put up with whatever crappy thing you happen to say. One of the reasons they like you is because you don't say crappy things, so always be respectful.... (read in full...)
Cheated on my husband and am riddled with guilt but do you think this other man loves me?
Q. hi i am married to a wonderful man for the past 23 years and now have cheated on him for the very first time. it is hard as i am riddled with guilt.i have been seeing a friend of ours for almost a year before we called it off.our friend is also ...
A. 20 July 2011: If he was really in love with you, he would've left his wife for you by now. He's stringing you along and you know that, but you don't want to believe it. He's never going to leave his wife. Cheaters always use that to get what they want. So stop ... (read in full...)
Should I marry someone that I know has cheated more than once?
Q. I am 25 years old and engaged to be married. I have been with my fiance for about 4 and a half years and we have a 3 year old child together. About 9 to 10 months ago I found out he was cheating on me. I don't think the relationship was at a ...
A. 20 July 2011: I do believe that once a cheater, always a cheater. Don't marry this guy. Just because he's said he wouldn't do it again doesn't mean he won't. He told you he cheated on you and you're still willing to marry him and that probly tells him that he can ... (read in full...)
Have I made the right decision by not contacting my lover?
Q. I'm a married mother of 2 and recently ended an affair with the love of my life. I know most people think this when they're having an affair but he truly was the love of my life. He was my first. We met in high school and 18 yrs later, met again ...
A. 20 July 2011: Leave both of them. You are not in love with your husband and it's not fair for you to string him along just because of the kids. They'll know that this had nothing to do with them, so let him be happy with someone else. Leave the other guy too. He ... (read in full...)
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