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| *omewhat_anonymous's profile:No Nonsense, No Sugar-coating:
A straightforward FAQ
Q: Should I have an affair?
A: Absolutely not, I wish Jerry Springer was popular again so you'd know why and I'd see this question less than three times a day. No, don't say, "but..." the answer is still "NO" and you know it. NO! NEVER DO IT!
Q: Is my penis big enough? Why does it look different?
A: An average penis is 5-7 inches. Less than that can still do the job and if you are worried, use something besides what is between your legs. And if everyone has a different face, why would genitals be different in this aspect? They come in different shapes and sizes, so you're probably normal. Same with vaginas.
Q: We had unprotected sex, but he pulled out before he had an orgasm, how did I become pregnant?
A: Um, when did they stop teaching Sex Ed? Just because he didn't shoot, doesn't mean his dribbling precum didn't have sperm. It only takes one of his little tadpoles to swim across the finish line.
Q: Dude, my sister is so hot, should I ask her to have sex with me?
A: HELLS NAW! That's called incest and it is illegal. If you have a kid, he/she would probably be retarded or genetically defective in some way. You are only hot for her because she is the female closest to you.
Q: I'm 40 and want to date this 11 year old. Is this okay?
A: No, that is disgusting, you're a pedophile, get help.
Q: My significant other abuses me physically and/or emotionally and I want to stay, how do I go about this?
A: Leave. Leave him/her right now. You know those women on Oprah that you'd say are crazy for staying with the wifebeater? Well, that's you. Stand up for yourself, don't be a doormat, and walk.
Q: Everything is going great, why do I want to leave him/her?
A: Remember the first Matrix movie? The main agent said that the original Matrix design was a world with no pain or consequence. The human mind could not accept this and everyone woke up. It didn't work until pain and consequence were introduced. Think on that. There is much truth to reality. Other than that, you may have a fear of success, or be seeking a challenge. Americans do well under stress, we are used to it. We don't know how to handle things when they go well, much like a child doesn't know how to handle freedom.
Q; I'm a pregnant teen and don't know if I should keep this baby or tell anyone.
A: We'll I don't have a definitive answer, but let's hope this helps. First, I don't see how you will keep it from your parents at your age. Your best bet is to be honest and tell them right now. If you are worried that your entire life will stop and you'll drop out, let me hopefully provide you with inspiration. I have a female co-worker, she got pregnant when she was 16. She kept the baby and finished high school ON TIME and in mostly HONORS CLASSES! She finished college on time. She is now a teacher in her mid 20's with three kids and a husband that is the father of all three kids. She is finishing up her masters degree and she always has enough money to go on vacation, even though her husband works part-time and is going to school. Of course this is not the norm and it takes a supportive family/families and the guy has to be there too, but it is not impossible! NEVER have an abortion just because the guy threatens to leave. On top of that, a lot of young mothers are worried until the baby is born and would have regretted the decision to have an abortion. for more inspiration on this matter look at this: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/for-all-young-women.html
Other people on this site that are very helpful that you can trust:
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/frank_b_kermit
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/flower_girl
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/birdynumnums |
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I think he is a child porn addict.
Q. My boyfriend was out of town last night. I got drunk by myself (mistake) and had a thought that I would go to his apartment and look through some photos that he seemed to be hiding from me (mistake). So after much delay and trying to talk myself ...
A. 8 September 2007: Well, it sounds like he's willing to work this out later after some thought, but are you still willing to? If so, wait until you both can go into this calmly, when he can no longer call you names and when you figure out what you want.
Yeah,... (read in full...)
I want him back now, but i'm not sure if he wants that.
Q. I need help. I was dating this guy for three years. We broke up twice in the middle of the relationship, but fixed it. I have a problem that when things start getting hard and I start finding other guys attractive, I would break up. Well, I ...
A. 23 August 2007: Good luck... (read in full...)
We have known each other for years, do you think he now likes me?
Q. I was really worked up abou a personal family matter and was crying. He lives across the road from me and he was over with his mum and dad as his mum is my mums bst friend. Basically, as he was tring to make me feel better, he told me that he liked ...
A. 20 August 2007: Ditto on what loveprincess said. He might just be trying to be nice, he might like you. He might be preparing for a rebound relationship with you.
All you can do is ask, and try not to make it awkward. You are not to advance on this unless t... (read in full...)
Is it ok to be dating my cousin?
Q. My boyfriend is my cousin, what do you think about that? We are in love, and I know people critize us, because its impossible, but when I am with him, I feel so good, so perfect. I mean I could date other guys and he could date other girls. But ...
A. 20 August 2007: If you like ending up on the Jerry Springer show and possibly have greater odds for having a retarded child, then by all means, go ahead. Although, some researchers are trying to disporove that with a little success. Some states also have laws ... (read in full...)
Has anyone else been through this?
Q. Hi I am so confused my x once again has stoped talking to me for no reason her x is a woman beater and I have always stood next to her when he was there she still talks to him but won't me I live 5 mins away from her and hate it I have tried every ...
A. 20 August 2007: You've tried and she needs professional help now. You can't sit there and be abused and suffer because she's been abused.
I know you care about her and this hurts, but I think you've done about all you can and more than most could expect.... (read in full...)
I love him but i'm also scared of him.
Q. I like this guy who is so sweet and has big blue eyes and brown hair, but I'm scared cause he said he would kill me if I didn't show up o time for our next date. He then said he was joking, but I've seen him say that stuff to his friends like:Hey ...
A. 20 August 2007: Yeah, pulling a knife and saying , "Just kidding?" He likes to take jokes too far or he is crazy and unpredictable and dangerous.
In either case, leave now and keep your distance, then tell someone. Even if he was joking with the knife, w... (read in full...)
Why am i so bothered about his ex coming back, when we are just friends with benefits?
Q. I'll try to make this brief. I cheated on my first love 2 years ago, he left me (as he should!) and swiftly got together with one of his very pretty friends. Over the past two years he had forgiven me, he has contacted me on and off, I NEVER contact ...
A. 20 August 2007: 1) MySpace is not a judge of accurate history. So what if it has been three months or three days?
2) You can end the benefits the same way you end any relationship.
3) It bother you because you still love him. Flower Girl and lillybet are bot... (read in full...)
I want him back now, but i'm not sure if he wants that.
Q. I need help. I was dating this guy for three years. We broke up twice in the middle of the relationship, but fixed it. I have a problem that when things start getting hard and I start finding other guys attractive, I would break up. Well, I ...
A. 20 August 2007: Or he likes you, but doesn't want to be hurt again. all you can do is talk with him about it, plead your case and see what he says. But be prepared for a "no" since you broke it off twice already and he probably doesn't want it to happen again. ... (read in full...)
She says she is going to skip breakfast to lose weight.
Q. My friend wants to loose weight but shes saying she is going to skip breakfast. But breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Please can some people comment on how important breakfast is so i can tell her...
A. 20 August 2007: She should not skip any meals. She can change them, but not skip. Otherwise the body thinks it is starving and when she does eat, her body will do what it can to hold on to those calories.
In some Nazi camps during WWII, they fed the prisoner... (read in full...)
Is it ok for me to date her?
Q. Hi i'm 22 year old guy and i was wondering if it is ok to date a 16 year old girl. I'm really quite fond of her as i have been freinds with her family for many years, but i met her only a year ago.Though i did find her attractive, and she admitted ...
A. 20 August 2007: In England, I think you're both legal. So I guess figure out where you two stand on the maturity level to figure it out if you really want to pursue this. And what would her parents think? Would that cause any undue drama? Also remember that ... (read in full...)
Did i make the wrong move?
Q. Why is she ignoring me? I recently have fallen for a girl and she is very interested in me. We went up to a marching band retreat in the mountains and really got to know each other. It's pretty obvious we both like each other in a more than f...
A. 20 August 2007: Maybe she likes you a lot and can't handle it. Maybe she's confused. Maybe you're moving too fast. Maybe she now realizes you don't have a lot in common. Maybe she is inexperienced in relationships and worried about screwing up.
See where I ... (read in full...)
We are living on seperate floors because we both have issues.
Q. I have been living with my boyfriend since November but only gave up my apartment in May. We have been having more and more problems, we both are seeing therapists and psychiatrists and are on meds. I have severe anxiety and some depression. He ...
A. 20 August 2007: I think you two juts need space. Is there a way to stay living like that and limit your time together so you can work on these issues?... (read in full...)
I'm a bit insecure about the ex girlfriend.
Q. Hello, I have a problem with my current relationship. I am always insecure and have been with most of my boyfriends, thing is, I have been with my current one nearly a year now. I have always been paranoid about his beautiful ex. I went to a fest...
A. 20 August 2007: His ex sounds like she is trying to break you up. Maybe everyone on here is right that he's a liar and you need to get rid of him...MAYBE.
I say that because that is how it looks when you look at just the words. However, i don't know the guy ... (read in full...)
I think i got married too young.
Q. I am married really young. I am now 24, and have been married for a year. When I first met my wife, we really hit it off. I was actually looking for a roommate at the same time, and decided she would be a perfect fit. She ended up moving in within 2 ...
A. 20 August 2007: Just thought I'd chime in to reinforce Enzian's words. Yeah, you should have waited until you know her, and not rushed it. It isn't your age, it's the fact that you barely knew her and are just starting to now.
See if you can make it work. i... (read in full...)
Scared she'll tell people about my circumcised penis!
Q. I am a 15 year old male and circumcised, me and my friend want to have sex for fun but im scared she will tell everyone about my penis please help?...
A. 20 August 2007: A lot of people are circumsized and a lot aren't...and ya know what? No one cares!
But sex with a friend for fun? Forget about it, this isn't a James Brown song. You should have sex for the right reasons, like love or wanting a child. ... (read in full...)
He keeps blowing hot and cold... one day he'll text me all the time and ring me and then a couple of days later he won't at all and won't reply leaving me in doubt.
Q. I went out with a guy once over a year ago, due to school, working and family etc, it didn't work out because we could never see each other. A year on we are still talking and say how much we like each other all the time, we've arranged to meet a f...
A. 20 August 2007: He's a flake, look elsewhere. You cannot wait forever.... (read in full...)
Is this guy messing with me or do you think he likes me but has cold feet?
Q. Hey guys I need your help again, There's this guy that says he likes me a lot, my friend set me up with him and so far we aint met but we chat on MSN regularly. He says he loves me and cannot wait to meet me but we are supposed to have met up ...
A. 20 August 2007: He loves you, but you never met? Huh?
I think he's just a flake and you can do better.... (read in full...)
Do you think my crush likes me back?
Q. I'm a female liking a male (: I met him 3 months back in a 5 days camp. He was taking me and my mates as kids as he's older than us. When he dropped his things, I would pick them up for him and he would just take it from me. 2 days later, I got a ...
A. 20 August 2007: What? How old is this guy? You're making him sound like a camp counselor or a babysitter.
I think he's just trying to let you down nicely and he's not interested. And if he's a bit older than you, he knows it is also illegal.... (read in full...)
What's the next step for me in my relationship?
Q. I've been going out with this girl for just over three weeks and we have really grown to love each other... I like her a lot and I want to take our relationship further but I don't know how far I should go... I can tell you she really loves me and ...
A. 20 August 2007: What the last two guys said. It takes more than htrree weeks to truly love someone. You barely know her. Hollywood movies trick teenagers into thinking that couples fall in love within three dates. Sorry dude, those are just hormones.
Take ... (read in full...)
I wake up 6 hours later to a text from her saying it's over and it's the final time she says this... I'm destroyed
Q. Will try to keep this short as I can... Started during summer of 8th-9th grade summer break. Met a girl online in a chat room thinking nothing of it other than friends. We ended up getting deeply, and I mean DEEPLY involved emotionally. Of course ...
A. 20 August 2007: Dude, move on. You're just thinking of yourself here. I've seen you give good advice on here and this post honestly looks contrary to what you would tell someone else to do. You knew it was wrong to start getting closer when she is married, but ... (read in full...)
My little sister is saying my boyfriend has touched her boobs and pubic area...
Q. All my life my family have been ruining my life and making things hard for me. I was with my boyfriend for 6 years and I have one baby and my family hate my boyfriend and they are always spliting us up. Now after 6 years my little sister is saying ...
A. 20 August 2007: If you don't trust your sister, then stand by your ex. You aren't bound to your family at your age. It is easier said than done, but you may have to walk away from your family if they aren't truly concerned with your happiness and trying to ... (read in full...)
Guy number 1 or guy number 2... who do I choose?
Q. I've recently become single and am looking at my options for potential boyfriend's. The other night I went clubbing with some mates (despite believing that clubbing isn't the best way to start a serious relationship) and ran into a guy from my ol...
A. 20 August 2007: It sounds like number 2 likes you, but you never know about number 1. Just because he had a couple drinks and didn't hit on you means nothing. See if you can figure out whick one you like more and probably share more in common with. Go for him ... (read in full...)
I just feel so hurt that he felt he had to lie to me...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about a year now. A month before we started dating he had broken up with a girl he dated for 8 months. He had constantly told me what a horrible relationship they had and how she was mean to his daughter. At the ...
A. 20 August 2007: I cannot know for sure, but I don't think he cheated on you. You're probably letting the ex win the game if you think that, as she is trying to break you two up. She might not want him back, but might want to see him and her replacement -- you-- ... (read in full...)
I do love her, just not as much as the other girl (who lives far away) and am worried that it is a mistake not marrying my number one choice.
Q. I need your advice. I love two women, one I love more than the other and think we are more compatible and she is my soul mate, but she is not available to fully commit to me. The other one is putting pressure on me to marry her and said that she ...
A. 20 August 2007: Well, you obviously cannot marry the girl you proposed to if you have all these doubts. You have to make a decision on who it is you want to be with right now. You cannot have both or keep either or both of them waiting just so you can figure it ... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to jump into another relationship, even if you have been cheating with that person after being in a long term relationship? Are they any pros and cons.
Q. My ex of 17 years split up. I have been to counselling and been keeping myself busy, doing things that I have never done before. She did not give me any closure and it was only when I turned up at her work place a few weeks later that I discovered ...
A. 20 August 2007: Hmm...she is a mess, are you a mess too? If so, don't do it. You have a counselor, what does he/she say? We're just strangers with opinions, the counselor is trained and probably has seen it all.... (read in full...)
I am pregnant to him again an he's said he wants me to get rid of it, if I don't then he does not want anything to do with me.
Q. I've been with my Asian boyfriend for 3 years, in that 3 years he was made to get married by his dad. I've got 1 child to him and another to another man but he has brought her up as his own, now I am pregnant to him again an he's said he wants me to ...
A. 20 August 2007: Yeah, it isn't his choice alone. Abortion is bad for the body anyway. He shouldn't have married just because his dad said so, but Asian culture dictates that one respects parents' decisions. Does he truly love you? Does he love the kids?
But w... (read in full...)
Has he pulled me back towards him to try and hurt me because I pulled him through he courts so he'd leave me alone?
Q. I've been married for 7 years and just gone through the courts to get my husband to leave me alone, now he has left the city I feel like I've made a huge mistake, he's still puts the words there he wants me back but when I responded positively he's ...
A. 20 August 2007: Need more info. Why did you take him to court, what did he do? And if was that bad, why would you want him back?
He could be just toying with you for revenge or he could want you back in reality, but afraid you'll take him to court again.... (read in full...)
I am unable to let him go, why can't I move on and dump him? I want to but I can't go a day without texting or ringing him?
Q. I am a thirty year old single mother who has been dating a man for the past five years. He has cheated on me three times that I know of and I keep taking him back. I am unable to let him go, why can't I move on and dump him? I want to but I can't ...
A. 20 August 2007: You've gotten used to him. Your time with him is probably good, and then he decides to go out and have his fun without you. You want those good times back without the bad, but you know it won't happen. Stand strong, dump him for good. Yes, ... (read in full...)
I always helped her financially and this time when she asked me for money I couldn't help her since I had financial problems myself. So she decided to break up with me saying that she needed someone who could help her with her problems.
Q. PLEASE HELP AGE 21 WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR 2 1/4 YEARS AND NOW SHE BROKE UP WITH ME. We had been together, soo happy and this was a serious relationship we were planning on buying a house end of year but before all that happened we broke up. We ...
A. 20 August 2007: How often was she in financial trouble? Did she bring herself out of it, just to get back in debt and have you flying in to the rescue? Sounds like she was using you. If this is true, forget about the mooch. You deserve better.
Yes it hurts, i... (read in full...)
Should I hang around and hope he'll change his mind or start dating again?
Q. I was with my boyfriend for about 16 months (we're both 17) then we split up recently. We've always argued a lot and have split up on countless occasions, only to get back together the next day or sooner. A few weeks ago I got sick of it and fini...
A. 20 August 2007: I think your boyfriend is right here. I am sure he's feeling your pain too, but he knows it isn't right. It is possible that you could get back together and make the effort not to argue, but it is up to him now. Just as it is up to you not to be ... (read in full...)
I feel like she is being a cold hearted bitch and is tormenting these two people she claims she loves dearly.
Q. SORRY THIS IS A LONG MESSAGE. well, my best friend is in a huge amount of drama with her boyfriend and the boy she supposedly "loves". This drama has been going on for a couple of years now. Pretty much the boy she loves is a boy she dated a coup...
A. 20 August 2007: You have to do what is right, by trying to make her do what is right. You might end up breaking the friendship, but otherwise, you'll be just as bad as her by standing around and doing nothing. Ask her how she would feel if you tried seducing her ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for girls to go out by themselves to bars?
Q. Is it normal for girls to go out by themselves to bars? My fiance travels a lot (some for business and most for fun). Whenever he travels he goes to bars by himself.... in fact, that's how he met me when he had a girlfriend. We never cheated though. ...
A. 20 August 2007: Go out and have fun. You'll never meet any friends sitting around by yourself at home. You're out and rejecting the guys that ask you out, so you're doing the right thing there. But it sounds like all you tried is going to a bar and that you're ... (read in full...)
Am I the only one or does anyone else feel that dearcupid makes you paranoid?
Q. Am I the only one that finds that dearcupid makes me paranoid reading about all the different questions people ask(cheating with bosses, having sex with brothers and sisters etc) Am I the only one or does anyone else feel that dearcupid makes you ...
A. 20 August 2007: I admit that you do have a point on that, but at the same time, you have to realize that the people that ask questions are not the general population. The ones who come here and ask this stuff are only here because they are stuck and there is a ... (read in full...)
How often is "often enough".. ?
Q. How often should a normal guy masturbate a day?...
A. 19 August 2007: Yeah there is no set number. As long as it isn't an obsession that prevents you from living a normal life. If you find yourself ditching out on other activities to go masturbate, then perhaps you have gone too far.... (read in full...)
I worry that my best friend is ruining her life by being with an abusive boyfriend!
Q. My best friend has been in a relationship for 2 years. Without getting into detail of their extremely rocky past, her and her boyfriend have again had some major issues of trust. However, their most recent argument resulted in throwing objects and ...
A. 19 August 2007: Everybody is pretty much right here. She's like those women you see on talkshows and call them insane for staying with guys like this. She should see a counselor or a therapist. I like the ideas that were brought forth to talk to a cop or talk to ... (read in full...)
My husband has had an affair with a girl nearly half my age... how can I trust him again?
Q. My husband has had an affair with a girl nearly half my age. He says it's over and it was just because it boosted his self esteem to have wild sex with a uninhibited teen and he only wanted her for one thing. I never met her but she has been with my ...
A. 19 August 2007: You can't trust him. He says he did it for only one reason, but what kind of an idiotic excuse is that? That one thing, was a very BIG thing. And she admitted things to you? What does she think about all this? He's a pile of crap. Leave him... (read in full...)
I'm all Jekyll and Hyde!
Q. i feel like two very different people sometimes. one is quite twisted and the other is content and happy with life. at parts i take a random change that cud hapn instantly. where im happy one minute and the nxt im not. like one minute im very happy ...
A. 19 August 2007: Maybe you're bipolar. See a professional and get help. Sounds like maybe your dreams are trying to tell you something, and your interpretations could be right. Just whatever you do, please promise me you won't buy a "Dream Interpretation" ... (read in full...)
I slept with a guy who's engaged at a party... should I tell his girlfriend?
Q. There is a boy i really like, i was at a aparty last night and i ran into him, he took me upstairs and into his friends bedroom, we started kissing and making out, and i gave him head and he tity f***ed me, we then ended up having sex, and then ...
A. 19 August 2007: Tell her. You'd want to know and it wasn't your fault. You didn't know and he took you upstairs to the room. She might not understand at first, but it will be off of your conscious and it can prevent her from making a huge mistake. She may find ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is seeking gay encouters online!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. We're both the same age and have gone through good time and bad. I am absolutely in love with him and can picture our future together, such as marriage, children, growing old together. A couple ...
A. 19 August 2007: Sounds like he really loves you, yet has a secret life. While it isn't right to snoop around, it also isn't right for him to be secretly having sex with guys. The first response says he is gay, and while that could be correct, he could also be... (read in full...)
I think he is a child porn addict.
Q. My boyfriend was out of town last night. I got drunk by myself (mistake) and had a thought that I would go to his apartment and look through some photos that he seemed to be hiding from me (mistake). So after much delay and trying to talk myself ...
A. 19 August 2007: Dr. Psych makes sense and earlier I thought of some of what she said too, but wasn't sure what measures to take. You could have the cops check out the computer and end the relationship, but also, I am not sure on this, it might incriminate you ... (read in full...)
His excuse for not wanting to be with me anymore was because I was not affectionate enough!
Q. Hello. My boyfriend has broken up with me for a bit over a month. We were each other's firsts and I'm really baffled of how he ended things so fast when everything still seemed fine within the same of week after we broke up and before that from ...
A. 19 August 2007: Exactly what Dazzerg said. You didn't refuse his affection, but it doesn't sound like you initiated it either. While that might be true, it does feel like that cannot be the only/real reason. If everything seemed fine and it broke off suddenly, ... (read in full...)
Am I being paranoid about this number on my boyfriend's cellphone?
Q. i saw a girls in my b/f's phone and i asked him who it was..and he said it was a customer from a couple of weeks ago, the one that kept having trouble..and he said i can delete it. He said it was a 50 year old woman with an 18 year old son....So i ...
A. 19 August 2007: Yeah let it go. It sounds like you're the one with the problem. Why are you going through his phone and calling these people? Everyone has numbers on their phone someone else won't know about. So what? I don't know what my girlfreind's boss's ... (read in full...)
Does his jealousy mean he still loves me?
Q. A few weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me because he said he didn't know if he loved me or not. He said he still wanted to be best friends and he wanted me to keep something precious of his that he gave to me to wear when we were together, but I ...
A. 19 August 2007: He just sounds generally confused. It could even be that he loves you a lot and it freaks him out. But if that had been the case, he really should have talked to you about it instead of ending it.
If he's really not sure if he loves you, may... (read in full...)
I think he is a child porn addict.
Q. My boyfriend was out of town last night. I got drunk by myself (mistake) and had a thought that I would go to his apartment and look through some photos that he seemed to be hiding from me (mistake). So after much delay and trying to talk myself ...
A. 19 August 2007: I am tempted to agree with most of what is said, but I am also worried this is a knee-jerk reaction. Yes, it is potentially a HUGE problem, but I think we need more information here. Is there any more occurance of this in his journals? How does ... (read in full...)
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