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... Send *averick a private message | | | *averick's profile:Hello,
I'm Maverick. I'm a single, (soon to be) 24 year old guy in Bedfordshire, England (UK) working in Facilities Managment, it's boring yes but it pays well so I can't argue.
My work has always seen me deal with people (often very difficult and upset people) but I enjoy resloving issues - and I guess I wouldn't be able to survive by not being in a problem solving role.
Coming from a very crap childhood and upbringing, High school and college just made things worse. I was very depressed with low self esteem at the end of it all - I didn't think I was good enough to go to university (or anything else for that matter). So I ended up getting a dogsbody job for huge medical company. It turned out to be the best thing that happend to me. It made me a better person. Slowly but surely I've worked my way up.
Over a period of time I started to rebuild myself the way I wanted and I became a lot happier for it. I developed (and still have) a passion for studying communication, body language, psychology, relationships, flirting, and conflict resolution.
My passions include football, exercise, table tennis, music (I think I've realy gotten into Emo - strange for a business man eh?), japanese/korean films, video games and socializing.
I hope I can pass on bits and pieces of info to make others feel better as I know how depressing things can be. One thing I always strive to do is always make a point to back up everything I say with some evidence. I am always happy to mention the books, groups, websites and charities I know that could help.
If you are not happy with anything I say then please send me a message about it. I welcome all constructive criticism.
Thank you for taking time to read this and please take care. M
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Can anyone tell me exactly what she means?
Q. i round about asked this girl out. and she said she would get back to me about it as soon as she could. can someone shine some light on what she means? all she said was "i'll get back to you about wensday". because thats when i offered to buy he...
A. 9 May 2007: The easiest way to develop trust and ease offf any pressure they may feel, is to spend "convienient" time together. This will help make her feel comfortable around you.
First if you are concerned about being blown-off don't! Abandon that date - y... (read in full...)
Is this product safe to use???
Q. I am a bit worried. I bought this fade cream by the brand AMBI. This product contains hydroquinone 2%. I was wondering if this product is safe to use for whitening my face even though it has hydroquinone 2%? I heard this is bad or maybe cancerous. ...
A. 7 May 2007: Hello there.I am not qualified as a chemist so please take my response with a pinch of salt.
Hydroquinone is used as a component of skin whitening creams and you are right in some countries it's use in this manner has been deemed illegal (France)... (read in full...)
Can anyone tell me exactly what she means?
Q. i round about asked this girl out. and she said she would get back to me about it as soon as she could. can someone shine some light on what she means? all she said was "i'll get back to you about wensday". because thats when i offered to buy he...
A. 7 May 2007: That is very tricky.
In my personal experience it is usually a delay to find a reason to blow-off. Usually.
There are other things to consider:
- You're approach in asking her
- She may not know what she is doing this week
- She doesn't... (read in full...)
I have feelings for her but she only seems to want my friendship.
Q. I will start with a little information about myself. I seem to have this "savior complex" due to which I seem to be automatically attracted to people who need my help. Also, I feel guilty..ALOT. About three years ago I met this amazing female ...
A. 7 May 2007: First up I would like to say you sound a top rate bloke.
Your post stikes me as you being very caring, dependable, reliable and trustworthy. You come across as a good person. You tend to help people because it makes you feel good. It bboosts ... (read in full...)
What are the chances im pregant??
Q. What are the chances that i am pregant? -he didnt cum / orgasm inside me -we had sex around the time i was due for my period -we used a condom -he was only inside for a very little while -i bled for a day afterwards but then stopped bleeding...
A. 7 May 2007: Hello there. It is difficult to say. But from you information it would seem unlikely that you are pregnant. Firstly, using a comdom will keep you safe from pregnancy 99.98% of the time. There is an insignificant risk of a holw being in the con... (read in full...)
I'm struggling badly as I think I screwed up and allowed my best friend get away...what can I do?
Q. Oh please tell me I didn’t lose my best friend! My Venus, a 12 year plus divorced 46 years old with two boys. Me, a 41 never married guy nor one to date a great deal either. She’s a very successful and intelligent gal who made her way in the b...
A. 7 May 2007: Hello, Firstly I would like to say thank you for sharing this information. There is a lot to respond to but I will try to reduce the response. Overall it appears that you have not made much valid emotional contribution to your reltaionship wit... (read in full...)
I don't want to screw up my date to the school prom - please, I need advice!
Q. Well my high school is ending and prom is coming up. I was really nervous about asking a girl, but I did eventually and got a yes! I today near end asked for her number incase anything goes wrong, and I got the answer: "sure can we deal with it ...
A. 5 May 2007: Hello mate,
I can see how you would interperet her response as a negative thing. However, you need to think about it in context. Was she with her friends at the time or other poeple? Was she busy? Did she have something on her mind?
In any ... (read in full...)
I lose interest in guys that show how they feel about me, I just end up being compliant!! Anyone any advice ?
Q. Lately I've come to realise that I tend to lose interest in guys who show too much interest in me too soon, whether that be sexual interest or in terms of wanting a relationship. Like I'll be flirting and having fun getting to know a guy and t...
A. 3 May 2007: You know I think I can sympathise with the guys - you actually remind me of a girl I know from work :o(
Well, she behaves in the exact same way you say you do (except she also adds she's "just not interested in a relationship now"). Sorry I don't ... (read in full...)
I want to know when would be the best time to kiss her or how to tell if she wants to be kissed.
Q. I have a really close friend, who i've developed feelings for. I really love her, and I don't want to lose her friendship, but I feel that I should at least try to see where we could go. I know that if we were together and if we ended up breaking ...
A. 2 May 2007: You sound like you are doing vey well my friend. From what you say you have developed a relationship well. You just seem to be in a bit of a panic about what next!?
Firstly - this sounds like a cop out, but I have to say it - YOU WILL KNOW WHE... (read in full...)
Is it true that sex is an act of reassurance for males from their partner or from opposite sex?
Q. Is it true that sex is an act of reassurance for males from their partner or from opposite sex? Is it the same for women? ...
A. 2 May 2007: Good question.
I think its important to keep in mind that the purpose of sex is to reproduce. It's a basic instinct with all living things. Bearing this in mind you could gather a few things...
WOMEN see sex as more of a an emotion thing. "... (read in full...)
I have recently had sex with my boyfriend, we used a condom, but it came off half way through
Q. hey, I have recently had sex with my boyfriend, we used a condom, but it came off half way through. i am now 2 weeks late on, and been gettin headaches and really bad pains in my tummy. i dont want to take a test because i am scared of what it will ...
A. 2 May 2007: Hello, Firstly I can sypmapathise with. With my last girlfriend the consom ripped.
You do need to take a number of different brand pregnancy tests when you are next due on you period. The reason fo different brands is for your own piece of mind ... (read in full...)
I'd like to get him a little token of love to keep for the times we are apart, any suggestions ?
Q. Hi just a bit of advice, I have met the most amazing man ever and it was love at first sight for the both of us and after such a short time we are both starting to fall in love with each other. Our relationship is somewhat long distance (bout 80 ...
A. 1 May 2007: Romantic gifts that always triggers memories of you? There are a few things you can do.
- Get him a funny/lovely keyring - He will think of you everytime he gets into home/car.
- A bookmark. (I made one with pictures of me and girlfriend a... (read in full...)
My Bf and my best friend are at logger heads over who spends time with me! Help!!!
Q. Hiya, Please Can Someone Help.. My Best Friend And My Boyfriend Always Argue With Each Other Over Who Spends More Time With Me I Try To Spend An Equal amount of time with them both, but they still find a way to argue over me. One Night They Had A...
A. 1 May 2007: This likely comes from their feelings of of fear in losing you to the other one.
It's usually the person you have known longer that feels threatened. By not having you around thewill be losing contact with someone who provides support and comforts... (read in full...)
He is not in love with her but at the same time he won't leave as he feels she will make it difficult for him to see his daughter
Q. this is goin to be a long one sorry i've known this guy for many years but its only over the past two we've really got on. we met up agen round one of our friends house and instantly we had things to talk about and practically ignored everyone else ...
A. 1 May 2007: It's alright I appreciate the followup. It makes more sense now.
From what you have said it doesn't appear there is much else to concern yourself with now. By him looking for a lawyer and what you say he is already taking positive action to leave... (read in full...)
Our insecurity issues is really affecting our relationship. Any advice?
Q. Hi ive been with my bf for about a yr and 8months i love him too bits but we have had our fair share of problems. Anyway hes got a lot of insecurity issues that it has sort of influenced me in a way. Well the problem is we just seem to hurt ...
A. 1 May 2007: Hello. Thank you for the other information.
It does seem that contrary to what he says - he has not gotten over his experience with his first cheating girlfriend. As unpleasant as it is to say - people past experiences will effect future experien... (read in full...)
Has anyone any advice on how I can improve my body?
Q. I am sixteen years old and am concerned with my body. I know that it is not right to be overly concerned with my body, but it would make me feel better about myself. Unfortunately i cant seem to get the body i want. Do not get me wrong, i and not ...
A. 1 May 2007: Hello mate. Maybe I can shed some light on fitness and exercise for you. (This is based from First Aid and Basic Qualification in Physical Education studies)
First, I do not recommend muscle definition exercise to under 18s - this is debateab... (read in full...)
I am afraid during sex that it will 'slip out' and hurt us - how do I cure my phobia?
Q. I am aftaid during sex that it will 'slip out' and hurt us - how do I cure my phobia? I have been sexually active for 10 years, but 1 year ago I had a painful experience with a penis 'snapping' and he had to go to hospital. It hurt me as ...
A. 1 May 2007: Hello,
Have you spoken to your boyfriend about this incident? It maybe difficult as it will be refering to sex with another man - but if you do feel comfortable and if he is as wonderful as you say he he should understand. This would be a good fir... (read in full...)
I still hold something in my heart for my old fling.
Q. I'm sitting here in this party....its pretty lame. Yoù know I've been thinking aboùt how I'm feeling. I gùess I've noticed that for some reason I still hold something in my heart for my old fling. And I gùess also that I don't know exactly how I'm ...
A. 1 May 2007: Hey fairhlafin. You know I've just been through the same situation.
There's this girl at work I like still do. We were really close for a while then a motnh ago we drifted apart after she said she wasn't looking for a relationship.
I reali... (read in full...)
How come I keep going for the girls that don't like me?
Q. How come I keep going for the girls that don't like me? I cant seem to get this girl I really like. She won't go out with me. I have been asked her out 6 times since I told her how I felt, so I don't think it's a matter that I am repulsive or ...
A. 1 May 2007: Hello mate. Don't worry you are in the situation I used to be in. You will get through this as long as you can figure out why.
Let's look at the various parts of your question.
First, you keep going after girls that don't like you. I used to b... (read in full...)
I seem to date guys for a week or so then get bored. Why does this keep happening?
Q. In the past month or so I have gotten in a routine of dating guys for only a week. This is my fourth boyfriend in the past two months. They weren't meant for me but I really like the guy I'm with now. The only problem is it's been a week and I ...
A. 1 May 2007: Your age says 16-17 so I agree to some extent with cd206. You are young and you will develop your relationship skills. There is also another point to consider in relationships, and that is there are various phases you go through. Initially most p... (read in full...)
He says he cares, but I don't feel it. What can I do to make him see him from my eyes or should I just move on?
Q. I am dating a guy who is very nonchalant in nature and it makes understanding how he really feels about me hard to understand. I feel like I'm trying to get him to open up and it's not working. He says he cares, but I don't feel it. What can I do to ...
A. 1 May 2007: Hello honey. Could you please provide examples? Generally guys aren't very forthcoming in openning up their feelings for a number of reasons, including poor communication skills (men are worse communicators than women), feeling less masculine t... (read in full...)
She's flirting with another male, despite knowing I'm interested, he will use her, what can I do ?
Q. ok i told a friend i liked her and she liked me but then last week she said she only wants me as a friend. i didnt know why she changed her mind but then i knew she started texting another guy from work which i was slightly jealous about and then ...
A. 1 May 2007: Hello there. I wanted to say that I have been in the same predicament but after many broken hearts I think I found the best way to deal with it. Firstly I would like say that telling a girl "I like you" or "I love you" will not cause them to fa... (read in full...)
I didnt say anything about her late arrival, maybe lack of confidence, how can I stop it happening again ?
Q. Hi I have been in my present job for 2 years, i work in the care industry, not in a hospital but in the community. Recently i had to wait for a colleague to turn up, which she did after 50mins and my three calls to the main office. She never a...
A. 29 April 2007: Hello, I appreciate this is a late response but hopefully it may still be of some use to someone. You shave a few options available to you. Tell her off properly, handle it yourself or do nothing.
Firstly it can be a difficult to tell someone ... (read in full...)
My debts are growing, my self confidence has gone, Im failing fast, PLEASE HELP!!!!
Q. Hi: I need emotional help with this matter. I know this is not the biggest deal in the world but I need someone to talk to. I've been unemployed for 10 months now. I had to quit my last job because of: disrespectful boss, bitter/depressing ...
A. 29 April 2007: It's ok. You will bounce back. I notice a few weeks have passed so could you please give an update on how things are going?
Your family will not likely thrash you for failing. You should be able to turn to then for support. Do talk to them and... (read in full...)
He is avoiding me because he doesn't want to hurt me.
Q. I have known this guy for over 2 years now and we get along great. About a year ago, we started fooling around, and 2 months ago, I gave him my virginity. We have had sex twice since then, and now he is avoiding me because he doesn't want to hurt ...
A. 29 April 2007: Hello.
There could be a number of reasons why he is avoiding you.
- He may not want to get attached to you and then find you've suddenly matured (you're 18) and have a new trendy youth lifestyle (old-bf young-gf insecurity that many guys i... (read in full...)
He is not in love with her but at the same time he won't leave as he feels she will make it difficult for him to see his daughter
Q. this is goin to be a long one sorry i've known this guy for many years but its only over the past two we've really got on. we met up agen round one of our friends house and instantly we had things to talk about and practically ignored everyone else ...
A. 29 April 2007: Please don't apologise for writing a long question. It's good of you to get as much of it out as you can.
First and foremost. At this point in time you are the "other girl". Regardless of how he feels about his current partner - he is still in... (read in full...)
I like her but she likes me as a friend..so why can't I just be myself around her?
Q. I like this girl at work but I dont think she likes me,she only likes me as a friend. I get a funny feeling and I cant act myself when Im around her and I just cant seem to talk to her. Im not sure what to do. What should I do? ...
A. 29 April 2007: From a psychological point of view this is normal, she has gotten your interest (you're attracted to her mate) BUT you are not sure what to do. That's why you are nervous. Chances are you are sub-conciously worried about doing something wrong in ... (read in full...)
I'm prideful, but I'm far from selfish, and I never want to see her hurt this bad again. How can I make it up to her?
Q. I made the mistake of thinking my girlfriend was doing a few things as a cruel mindgame on me, only to find out later that it was a few series of consecutive mistakes. Problem is, I had already yelled at her thinking I was in the right, which ...
A. 29 April 2007: Hello.
Firstly I want to say that you are acknowledging a problem you see yourself having. That is a brave thing to do and and shows you are prepared to make things better.
I think the best way to look at this is think about how considerate ... (read in full...)
I still hold something in my heart for my old fling.
Q. I'm sitting here in this party....its pretty lame. Yoù know I've been thinking aboùt how I'm feeling. I gùess I've noticed that for some reason I still hold something in my heart for my old fling. And I gùess also that I don't know exactly how I'm ...
A. 29 April 2007: Hello.
I think I have a question for you. What is it that you want from him? Do want to be friends, lovers, bf/gf? Do you want him to go away?
Think about what it is you would like to have and then work towards it if possible.
You... (read in full...)
Would you contact an ex boyfriend who you have not spoke to in 3 years to set the record straight?
Q. Would you contact an ex boyfriend who you have not spoke to in 3 years to set the record straight? The thing is that he thinks that i cheated on him when i didnt. I broke up with him because he was very controlling and abusive. Regardless of what he ...
A. 29 April 2007: If this has happened 3 years ago but you are still considering it now - you should seriously consider why is it still bothering you?
You might benefit from confronting him and may be able to achieve closure? Or you may want to sub-coun... (read in full...)
Our insecurity issues is really affecting our relationship. Any advice?
Q. Hi ive been with my bf for about a yr and 8months i love him too bits but we have had our fair share of problems. Anyway hes got a lot of insecurity issues that it has sort of influenced me in a way. Well the problem is we just seem to hurt ...
A. 29 April 2007: Hello.
You sound like you are stuck in an insecurity issue here. The thing you need to do is find out why you are insecure about these things and then ciope with them.
From you example; you say you thinks he looks at "other pretty girls". A... (read in full...)
Is the size of my penis okay to satisfy a girl?
Q. my penis size is about 4.5 inches and i masterbate a lot, i'm afraid of sex. Is this size ok to satisfy a girl?...
A. 29 April 2007: Hello.
The size of penis isn't actually important in sex - penis size is only given a ridiculous level of importantance in culture.
Merchant has got an excellent answer. You should be aiming for ther bundle of nerves 2-3inches inside her - the... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with him?
Q. hi im julia im 14 from uk. i have not been sexually active in a term i can relate to (if that makes sense) when i was 13 i was abused and raped and left naked in my own bedroom while my parents had nipped over the road to see a friend, i said i w...
A. 29 April 2007: Hello Julia (I fell for a girl called Julia once :o( !)
I think you have been through an awful lot for someone of your age and you are still standing which is awesome.
From my personal experience girls who have had bad past sexual experienc... (read in full...)
Does my bf need to wear a condom if I give him a blowjob?
Q. I dont know what i should do i told my boyfriend that im not a virgin but really i am and now i think that he thinks that i know what im doing but i want to give him a blowjob and that i know how to do but ive never done it before so umm yea does my ...
A. 29 April 2007: This is an interesting point and changes depending on who you are and how feel about it.
Condoms are used for 2 main purposes. To prevent pregnancy and to stop the transfer of sexually transmitted infections/dieseases.
With a blowjob, he will... (read in full...)
If he's no longer my bf, then is doing things with him sexually..a wrong thing to do?
Q. My ex bf and I broke up about a year ago because he was moving to a state up north and I live in the South. We really loved each other and now he goes to school in the south (still not in my state tho) and we have met once since to hang out. We ...
A. 29 April 2007: Hello honey. Please don't fret. Many people are in the same situation as you. The way realtionships and sex are viewed varies from person to person, culture to culture. In your case - you are perfectly within your rights to want sexual encounters ... (read in full...)
My gf misses me when we are apart, but she acts like I don't exist when we are together! What's up with this girl?
Q. I will start off by saying that I am very kind to my girlfriend. I treat her with respect, because that is how I believe women should be treated. When I am away from her, she tells me how much she misses me, and wants to be with me, loves me etc...
A. 29 April 2007: Hello mate,
From what you say it seems to suggest she has difficulty in communicating and being around you in person. But when you are apart she can feel more comfortable expressing herself - sounds like she can retain some emotional distance... (read in full...)
Would it be wise to send her an email asking her because I don't have much time after the weekend to ask her?
Q. There is a college dance coming up soon and i really fancy the person i want to go with. We have made a good friendship this year and we will speak whenever an oppartunity comes. I am slightly shy, I'm scared to ask her. Would it be wise to send ...
A. 29 April 2007: If possible og for the face to face encounter. You ill be able to communicate better with your whole body language arsenal and general you should find it will improve yuor chances of getting a YES to the dance. Whatever you do decide to do - B... (read in full...)
My girlfriend of 4 years has been acting really unusual lately!
Q. pls.help, i need to know whats really going on with my gf. we've been dating for about 4yrs and lately she been acting unusal, for example she just cut her hair very short and added a dye, and during sex, which has decreased dramatically, she tries ...
A. 29 April 2007: This seems like a very long stable relationship. I know you said dating - but dating is different than a relationship. There could be any number of things thats brought on this change. But given you've posted a question that your girlfriend of 4 ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I are both 13 and I'm scared in case I want to have sex.
Q. Hi, I Need Help. Im 13 And Have A Boyfriend The Same Age. I Dont Know Whether it is Just My Age Or Not But I AM Scared In case I Want To Have Sex. If That Makes Any Sense. Please Help Me Im Confused. ...
A. 28 April 2007: Its ok. I think there are a few ways to read your question so I will try to answer it as best I can. Sorry if some of this sounds like another school education book.
I'm guessing that you are either worried about wanting to have sex at 13 or worri... (read in full...)
My boyfriend texts me and I know he loves me but he never tells me how he feels on the phone, only in texts.
Q. hi every one i just want to know if any one out there can help me with my bf the thing is my bf dont talk that much and i dont know why that is really he will text me all the time and tell me how he feels about me but when it comes to talking to me ...
A. 28 April 2007: Hello Rose (that's a really cool name), Generally guys do have difficuly in communicating feelings. Particularly if its a feeling that will make them feel vulnerable or less masculine. These are main reasons I can think of why a guy wouldn't ... (read in full...)
I'm only 12 years old and I'm pregnant. I did it with 27 year old man. I don't know how to tell my mom.
Q. Hi Help I'm only 12 years old and I'm pregnant. I did it with 27 year old man. I don't know how to tell my mom. Help!...
A. 28 April 2007: I appreciate this is probably a scary experience for you it will pass though. It would probably be better in the long-run to have have your familiy's support. I guess it looks scary now, but telling your mother maybe most helpful. Plea... (read in full...)
Mom seems critical about the way I live my life. I know she loves me and wants to help..but I need tips on how to deal with her?
Q. I feel my mon is real nice to me but too critical sometime and insists on me putting up with people I dislike to be more sociable and to try dating guys I do not like just to see if they can be an interesting boyfriend or somethig, she always puts ...
A. 28 April 2007: You mother seems to be quite overbearing. It maybe worthwhile speaking with her about how you feel. Maybe establish why she is trying to get you get new clothes? Find out why she is introducing you to new people? Then explaining how each of thos... (read in full...)
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