I don't want him to give up his dream but I just found out I'm pregnant! How do I break the news?
Q. Hi everyone. Ok I'm 30 years old and my OH is 32. We both are currently living separately at our parents houses while we save up to buy a house ourselves. Unfortunately.. New mortgage regulationss have just come in and now we have to up twice wh...
A. 11 October 2014: I think you will both need to adjust your dreams to make this work.
Firstly, you really need to find somewhere to live. Saving to buy a house is a great goal, but unfortunately it's not likely to be achievable for you for the foreseeable future. ... (read in full...)
I don't understand why he wants to see me still if he doesn't want a proper relationship.
Q. Hi, I've been dating a guy on/off for over a year. The reason we ever go off is because he doesn't commit to calling me his girlfriend. Every time I try to move on he continually texts me asking to see me. I don't understand why he wants to see ...
A. 10 October 2014: Because in his eyes, he is getting all of the benefits of being in a relationship (sex, conversation, a convenient plus one when required etc), without any of the responsibility (having to remain faithful, family obligations, that sort of thing).
... (read in full...)
Am I being silly expecting more time or at least once a week when I know how crazy his job is?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together a few months he is 37 I am 32. But, We have been best friends for 17 years. We love each other very much. We talk all the time he calls, I call there is no issue there. I don't question that or even if he will ...
A. 9 October 2014: No I don't think you are being silly at all. A relationship needs time together in order to progress, and although you were friends for years, it's a totally different scenario now you are a couple. At this rate, you'll never really move forward.
... (read in full...)
Am I kidding myself being with a guy with depression?
Q. I met a guy on the internet. He is sweet, funny and we get on really well. He did tell me he suffered from depression and because I have supported a fair few people with depression I thought I would try. So I spent the night at his. I take life...
A. 1 October 2014: I would advise against seeing someone with that attitude to be honest, and I'm talking from first hand experience.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years now, and although he doesn't have a depression diagnosis, he does say similar ... (read in full...)
Is my friend insinuating that her husband likes me?
Q. I posted a general question here before regarding a sticky situation which has now become even stickier. I need advice! I feel like my close friend is indirectly setting me up with her husband, or at the very least seems fine with him potentially ...
A. 1 October 2014: It seems like she's checked out of the marriage already, and she is either encouraging you and her husband to start an affair to excuse the fact she wants to do the same, or she wants to make both of you the 'bad guys' so she can go ahead and ... (read in full...)
The 40 Year Old (Almost) Virgin
Q. Hey Aunties! I turned 41 years old this year and while I am not a virgin I am close! Back in college (1992-1993) I did have a gf that I had sex with for about 6 months but that has been the extent of my lifetime sexual activity. Women just aren'...
A. 30 September 2014: We get a lot of people on here with this problem, and most of the time they all have the same thing in common - they are waiting for a relationship to happen to them. This and this alone is the reason why you are in the situation you are in now.
... (read in full...)
Feeling resentment because of sex in otherwise great relationship.
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for a year and a half, and since we go to the same university, we spend most of our time together and are very close (she was my best friend before we went out). However, when it comes to sex, I am starti...
A. 30 September 2014: I can understand why you are a bit upset about the oral issue, at least in terms if frequency, but otherwise you sound a bit demanding.
Your girlfriend either isn't keen on giving oral sex, or more likely, she doesn't want you to cum in her mout... (read in full...)
What "red flags" am I missing here and how do I stop them without being an jerk?
Q. I have only had a few girlfriends in my life and the ones I have dump me all the time with no reason other than "I just want to be friends" or "it's not working out" or "I don't want a boyfriend". They say these things after we're already dating or ...
A. 25 September 2014: "I know that no means no. I just get really frustrated when she stops me at the last minute"
This makes it sound like you know that no means no, but you get pissy about it when she doesn't want to go all the way. Pointing out that sex is part of ... (read in full...)
How can I be less awkward about not drinking?
Q. At parties/bars can you not drink and be successful with girls there? I ask because I dont drink because Im an athlete and drinking weakens my performance. I am not the most socially confident though so when a girl asks me why im not drinking I cant ...
A. 22 September 2014: Personally speaking, I think your reason for not drinking is likely to be very attractive to girls. It's also a great ice breaker as I'm sure they will want to know all about your sport afterwards too. Be confident in the fact there will be lots of ... (read in full...)
Why does he get angry when I question him about a girl I know has a thing for him?
Q. Hi everyone! I would like some opinions on this! Me and my boyfriend have been together for five years, we did take a 7 week break over the Christmas period due to personal issues. In that 7 week period I was introduced to a friend of a friend,...
A. 16 September 2014: I think it's a simple case of her trying to keep the lines of communication open with him. She is 'apologising' over something that wasn't a big deal as it gives her an excuse to send him a message. It doesn't sound as though your boyfriend did ... (read in full...)
My best friend has suddenly become less helpful and I'm not sure how to handle it
Q. Best friend is suddenly hardly helpful. My best friend and I have been friends for 20 years. She has always been easygoing and happy to help. However, over the past few years she has actually been quick to say "No" about a lot of things that I wo...
A. 12 September 2014: I feel a lot like your friend at times, and frankly I don't blame her for refusing to do these things for you. Asking someone to go on a 40 mile round trip while you sit at home is a huge ask and she had every right to say no.
Instead of complain... (read in full...)
His step-dad has banned all sleepovers!
Q. So both me and my partner (let's call him Alex) are 23 and we've been together since we were 19. I live in shared housing at Uni but Alex is studying from home. After the first few months of getting together we were allowed to stay at each other's ...
A. 10 September 2014: I'm afraid that I agree with the other aunts in that it's Mark's house now too, and since him and your boyfriend's Mum have decided together that you can no longer stay, then there's nothing you can do.
It seems like Mark is uncomfortable with the... (read in full...)
Money and promotion, or job satisfaction?
Q. Quick question.. When it comes to work, would you rather choose a job you adore and could see yourself doing forever, but has little chance of promotion and low pay OR a job you tolerate, but the chances of promotion are high, and the pay i...
A. 5 September 2014: Having recently taken a promotion from a lower paying job I loved to a higher paying one I really don't like, I'd seriously advise choosing the one you love. I thought the extra money would make the less than desirable aspects more tolerable, but ... (read in full...)
Can you really teach yourself to sing?
Q. How an earth is this possible.... My sister is 20 and I've known since we were little she can't sing, she usually signs around the house and it's not bad but she's not great either. Well she's been at uni for the past 8 months and has been teachin...
A. 29 August 2014: Yes it can definitely be done. Singing is a skill like anything else and if you learn it and practice it you will become better at it. Incidentally, I'd love to know what the book is called - maybe my dreams of chart success aren't so outrageous ... (read in full...)
Am I not supposed to show my feelings? I am at a loss!
Q. I don't know what to do with my girlfriend anymore. I feel like I'm always failing, even when I don't know why or what I did wrong. I picked her up from work the other night with a bouquet of flowers, trying to be sweet. We went back to my place...
A. 23 August 2014: I think you need to expand on what she does that upsets you. In the situation you wrote about, I don't think you should expect her to automatically agree with you just because she is your girlfriend. Nor should you always side with her - you are ... (read in full...)
Why would he google my exes?
Q. I just recently found out that three months into my relationship my boyfriend went online and Googled two of my ex's. My boyfriend is not a controlling person and he is self confident - not needy our insecure. I'm not really sure what to thi...
A. 15 August 2014: He was probably just curious. I don't understand why you are asking - are you worried about it in some way?... (read in full...)
Is it important that you like the engagement ring that your boyfriend gave you?
Q. Hi aunty! My boyfriend proposed to me last year and now were getting married this year. But i dont like the ring he bought me I told him before i want a specific designs. But he bought different. Which i always tell him about it but not to be in...
A. 10 August 2014: I think it is important that you like it since you're the one who has to wear it every day for the rest of your life. If it were the other way around and you were buying something for your partner, wouldn't you want to give him something he really ... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of my girlfriend's past. She had sex with this guy at our office and I cant seem to get over this
Q. Okay, so I have been seeing a girl for a month or two now and it is absolutely fantastic, I love her with all of my heart and consider her to be 'the one' for me. There is just a slight thing which I know I am getting too hung up about but I would ...
A. 10 August 2014: To the male anon, if someone believes that casual sex is a turnoff then you're right, that is their opinion and they are entitled to it. If that is the case with the OP, then all he can do is end the relationship because the past cannot be changed. ... (read in full...)
Why is my sister's age such a big deal in her achievement and success?
Q. My sister is 23 and everyone is going on about how amazing her success is, please help me see why it's so impressive!!? She left home at 20, and moved to Paris to work in fashion, since she felt this is where her career was and would benefit he...
A. 9 August 2014: Because many other people have been working for over 10, 15 or even 20 years to be offered opportunities like that, particularly in the fashion industry which is fiercely competitive. It's hard to even get an assistant job in some of those companies ... (read in full...)
Why is my sister's age such a big deal in her achievement and success?
Q. My sister is 23 and everyone is going on about how amazing her success is, please help me see why it's so impressive!!? She left home at 20, and moved to Paris to work in fashion, since she felt this is where her career was and would benefit he...
A. 9 August 2014: Because many other people have been working for over 10, 15 or even 20 years to be offered opportunities like that, particularly in the fashion industry which is fiercely competitive. It's hard to even get an assistant job in some of those companies ... (read in full...)
Am I being a bitter twisted step mum?
Q. I'm not sure if I'm being completely pathetic or not about this situation so I think you in advance for any views on this matter I'm married to a man and we have 1 child together we both have 2 older children from previous marriages, my hb was the ...
A. 7 August 2014: I think a lot of people will disagree with this, but why don't you just start doing the same as he is? Speaking to him about it obviously doesn't work, since he's over in Spain spending money you can't afford. So why don't you do the same? I'm not ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's father caught us fooling around and now I'm invited to dinner? I have no idea how to act!
Q. My girlfriend is 16 and we have been dating for 10 months. From day one her dad has hated me, even her mother sys that mainly he just doesn't want to let go of the thought that his "little girl" isn't so little any more. I have always been ...
A. 7 August 2014: OP, I think the person who said it was gross was referring to the fact the father will be reminded of what he saw every time he enters his living room. A father having to see and think about his daughter in that way is most certainly gross! Imagine ... (read in full...)
How do I get the huge crush I have on an actor out of my head?
Q. OK, I know this is stupid, and This is very embarassing... I have been watching a new TV series, and I have a HUGE crush on one of the actors, who is British and fairly famous. Problem is, I've let myself dream about this guy so much that my rea...
A. 7 August 2014: I get crushes on actors now and again too, and they have always been worse when I'm either single or my current relationship is not going so well. Is everything really ok with your boyfriend? It's possible that you are not entirely happy, and your ... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend is shaming me and my sexual preferences! Am I in the wrong? Have I pushed him too far? Or am I really that disgusting?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for nearly 2 years - at least 18 months of which have been based on serious long term commitment to each other with the future in mind. We have an average sex life. I have accepted that I am a more...
A. 6 August 2014: The fact he only likes vanilla sex is ok. The fact he refuses to discuss anything sexual, and verbally abuses you for trying to do so, is not. If he can't even speak to you, his partner and the person he wants to spend his life with, about his ... (read in full...)
I am married but I feel abused badly by another woman I like
Q. I'm married and I was having problems with my wife and currently we live in different cities but somehow we have stable life and I visit her 2-3 times per month. I knew an ex-coworker since 2008 and in the same city I work (I work now in a differe...
A. 6 August 2014: I think she liked the attention you were giving her, but never had any intentions of being with you. She posted the song lyrics to make sure she still has you 'on the hook' and pining for her, which is a massive ego boost.
However, the real que... (read in full...)
I don't want his friends to think badly of me, but I also don't think I should just take what he throws at me!
Q. I'm not very assertive so would really like some advice on how I should have acted last night. My boyfriend and I went to a wedding reception last night. During the day, I was texting him about the arrangements, and he was only giving me one wo...
A. 3 August 2014: Cindy: I totally agree with you, of course everyone should be responsible for their own behaviour, and I agree that the OP shouldn't have started an argument at the first wedding. She should have waited until they were home and discussed it then. ... (read in full...)
I don't want his friends to think badly of me, but I also don't think I should just take what he throws at me!
Q. I'm not very assertive so would really like some advice on how I should have acted last night. My boyfriend and I went to a wedding reception last night. During the day, I was texting him about the arrangements, and he was only giving me one wo...
A. 3 August 2014: I think that provided you did it quietly and didn't make a fuss, leaving would have been a good option. Why should you have to sit there and put up with him giving you the cold shoulder all night? I do agree that you should keep your issues out of ... (read in full...)
Should I marry a female therapist/psychologist?
Q. I just thought i would ask this question. Basically I'm a sensitive man....not a weak man...but i had a very unhappy childhood/ dysfunctional family. And alot of bad things have happened in my life...(bad luck, life failures, betrayals by others ...
A. 2 August 2014: Cindy has totally hit the nail on the head here. You are looking for someone to pander to your issues. To be used as an emotional crutch when you feel like you need a self-esteem boost. Not even a mother should be that responsible for another ... (read in full...)
Mother-in-law's name for the baby's middle name?
Q. Background: SO and I have been together almost a decade. We are married and expecting a baby (our first) in 4 months. A few questions: Would you be okay with giving your baby MIL's name as their middle name IF... ...your MIL has in th...
A. 29 July 2014: I personally would be ok with it. As Cindy says, it's only the middle name and it's important to your SO who has as much of a say as you. I think this is a nice compromise.
Besides, I am also a big fan of taking the high road with people like you... (read in full...)
I keep having trouble reading women and I'm getting frustrated!
Q. All my life, I keep having trouble meeting girls/young women and I know I must be reading them wrong. Tell me please what magic tricks you're using because I've asked and I've read up on body language and I'm still lost (and yeah, getting pissed ...
A. 28 July 2014: Dude you sound way to desperate and way too demanding. Sorry to be blunt, but if a guy acted that way towards me I'd be really put off.
"I feel led on and like I could have been talking to someone who actually was interested!"
You are putti... (read in full...)
We found out our close friends gave us a recycled gift as our wedding gift! Would you mention that you know to them?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm really annoyed about something and I can appreciate there are more important things to worry about but I do feel I've been taken for a fool. My fiance and I got married 2 months ago and because we already live together...
A. 27 July 2014: I wouldn't say anything if I were you. While I agree with you that it's a bit tacky to give a recycled gift, especially to a good friend, if I'm honest I also don't like this new fashion of people asking for money either. My cousin did that too, and ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend loves penis-jokes, but I am feeling hurt by them!
Q. Hi there, I am in a horrible situation where my anxiety over penis size is ruining my life. I am a 30 year old guy and am not someone to believe in the usual pressures of society, in fact I think they are immoral and insensitive. Nonetheles...
A. 22 July 2014: I think it would really help if you gave some examples of what type of humour and jokes your girlfriend likes/makes. I'm not really familiar with this sort of humour so it's kind of hard to advise on how you should respond. I'm also not familiar ... (read in full...)
Is it good or bad to have a high angled Penis?
Q. Anyone know if a high erection angle, e.g. 11 o'clock, is particularly stimulating to women or is there not much benefit to having one? I have one and sex doesn't feel that great for me because of it, I think. But if it gets girls off particularly ...
A. 21 July 2014: I sometimes have a better time with one that's curved upwards slightly, but to be honest there's not much in it. Erections that stand straight up and touch the belly don't make any difference in my experience, as the angle changes to suit the angle ... (read in full...)
Why are some women so insecure when it comes to porn?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for the last five years. We met in high school and pretty much hit it off right away. We became instantly close from then and although we have our own share of problems, porn was never one of them. We have b...
A. 18 July 2014: Although I'm not bothered by my boyfriend watching porn, having been on this site for a while, I understand there are quite a few reasons why this bothers some women.
The main one, from what I can tell, is that a lot of women feel that men shou... (read in full...)
Trust issues from my past are affecting my current relationship. Do I have a reason to be paranoid now with what my boyfriend is doing?
Q. Hi Guys, So keeping it straight to the point. Ive been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now- everything is fantastic and I couldn't ask for anyone better. I live with him at his mums and we are saving up for a house to move out. I see him ever...
A. 10 July 2014: I think you need to do as he says and make a serious effort to start trusting him more. Even the most patient partner will get fed up of being questioned by a suspicious other half, and it sounds like that is what is starting to happen here.
Now b... (read in full...)
Does not wanting to to work outside the home make me a bad person?
Q. Does not wanting to to work outside the home make me a bad person? My husband barely makes enough to support us. We don't even have children. We have talked about adoption in the future when we are better off. We're in our mid twenties. I ofte...
A. 7 July 2014: "That's why I've been making myself work anyway, even though I don't want to anymore."
You've just described the situation 90% of the world find themselves in. I would give up my job in a second if I could, but I can't because I need to earn mon... (read in full...)
She has a boyfriend but should I tell her how I feel?
Q. Every day I can't stop thinking about this girl I like. But she has a boyfriend, she has told me they aren't to serious. Every time I'm alone with her I feel like I should tell her how I feel about her, but at the same time I don't. What should I ...
A. 30 June 2014: No I think you should keep it to yourself for now. You know she has a boyfriend, so don't disrespect her relationship by making a move (which telling her how you feel effectively is). If it's not serious, you might find it fizzles out shortly ... (read in full...)
It's like I don't exist when his child is visiting
Q. Hi everyone. I would like to ask for advice on dealing with my boyfriends behaviour. We have been together 3 years, not living together. He is fun and good company, cooks meals and helps clean up, he is attractive and we seem to have had good ...
A. 28 June 2014: I think you need to accept that when his child is visiting, he is not available to entertain you. His child absolutely should come first, and he is doing exactly what he should be doing by spending quality time with him/her. Incidentally, why do you ... (read in full...)
Is this the right course for me? Disabled wife, no sex for years. Now I have a platonic female friend
Q. I am a married man with a disabled wife, and I suffer from extreme caretaker's depression because of it. Recently I ran into a divorced lady of about my age, who used to be friend of my wife's (they turned out to be very non-compatible a...
A. 28 June 2014: I think WiseOwlE has summed it up perfectly so please listen to him.... (read in full...)
It's seven years since my wife allowed me to touch her breasts. What might help to help her resolve her issues over this?
Q. How can I get my wife to be comfortable with me touching her breasts? Ever since our daughter was born seven years ago touching her breasts has made her uncomfortable and its distressing me. It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong and I do...
A. 28 June 2014: Does it hurt her when you touch them? If so, she might need to see a doctor to find out if there is something wrong. Another option might be that she is self-conscious about them now if they have changed appearance since she gave birth. You could ... (read in full...)
My Gf never initiates sex. Makes me feel I'm the only one who wants it. How can I encourage her to initiate sex?
Q. For the ladies, Ive been with my babe for 4 going on 5 years and we had sex about 2 months ago and both lost our virginity to each other. Awesome! But the whole time we have been together I always (if not mostly) initiate our intimacy and as her ...
A. 28 June 2014: I have a few questions for you OP. First of all, am I right that you are saying you have only been having sex for 2 months? If so then it's still very new to both of you. If your girlfriend is in the same age bracket as you, she probably needs a bit ... (read in full...)
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