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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Has anyone been in a relationship where you feel that your boyfriend is gay? What are the obvious signs? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (1 January 2007):
 Can't give you any? What makes you think this?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2007): I dated a guy a few years ago and i sometimes felt that he might have been gay. I ignored my gut feeling. He is now dating a man. Nuff' said.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2007): There is no sure-fire way to tell whether or not anyone is gay. If he doesn't come out and tell you, or if you don't walk in on him rubbin' his duckie to some hot guy-on-guy action, it's still just a burning question that will live in the back of your mind. But maybe you should really think about why you needed to ask this question...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2007): Okay, I knew this very handsome guy for months and we constantly flirted and he asked me out. Long story short, we dated for only a few weeks before we lost our virginities to each other (we were only 18), and we dated for almost a year. We had sex ALL OF THE TIME and he was always turned on by me and he was always wanting sex. Well, we broke up in August for several reasons, but we agreed to still be friends. We even slept together once shortly after the break-up. Anyway, we hung out some "as friends" through the rest of August. But, I barely heard from him throughout September and October. I figured it was because he began seeing another girl. But, in November, less than 3 months after we broke up, he came out of the closet. He personally told me that he was gay. He said that he had developed intimate feelings for a man he worked with and it "triggered" him into realizing he was gay. I freaked out. After he came out, i began to remember things that i chose to ignore even though i probably shouldn't have. He would occasionally have gay men hit on him, which i didn't think was a big deal, but apparently they had the GAYDAR that i didn't have at the time, he was going to school to be an engineer but he told me once that he kinda wanted to be an interior decorator, he loved to shop a little too much, and most of his friends were females. And on more than one occasion, i caught him watching soap operas. I guess the point I am trying to make is that just because your boyfriend has sex with you all of the time and constantly wants you to give it to him, does not guarantee his hedero status, and just because your boyfriend appears to not be interested in having sex with you doesn't mean that he is gay. If your boy is feminine, fashion foward, likes music and television that is considered "gay", has gay men constantly hitting on him, has primarily female friends, or any other behavior you consider to be "gay" he absolutely could be gay...or he could be straight as an arrow. It sucks, I know. There is no 100% way to tell if your suspected boyfriend is really gay, unless, of course, he enjoys sex with men or flat-out tells you he is gay, or any thing like that. But, chances are, if you are having doubts that your man is truly a hederosexual, there is definitely a problem there and your gaydar might be trying to tell you something so the best thing to do is listen to it. Don't completely disregard it, like I did, because in the future you might be in for a shocking surprise. I'm not saying to go break up with the guy, but maybe talk to him. Try opening him up and being as subtle as possible. Maybe casually say something about someone who is gay and see what his take on homosexuality is, let him know that you aren't judging him and ask him to be honest, but don't be intimidating when you do. Say something like, "So, have you ever thought about being with a man before just to see what it would be like?" or "Lots of guys admit to having an occasional sexual thought about another guy, have you ever had one?" Just see what he says but proceed with caution and know that just because he says "yes" to these questions once again does not make him gay. He could be as straight as they come and still have all the "gay" signs. He could also be GAY GAY GAY and be a complete man's man who loves sports, has no fashion sense, and doesn't give a crap about his hair. The bottom line is this- I believe I have been no help to you. Sorry.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2006): guys always make me question whether or not their gay.
they will poke eachother in the but, squeeze eachothers nipples, stupid stuff u will never see girls do to oneanother. but the signs are not clear unless they have come out of the closet.
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A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (15 December 2006):
 Well it would be so nice to put gay people in a package and place a lime green and pink bow on top so everyone Knows who is who. But sometimes they don't know(or are not ready to know) either...so how would we solve that.
Why do YOU think you need to ask this?
Has he stolen your makeup....that's metro...could go either way or both.
Has he kissed your brother? Probable sign.
Does he like to cook? So does my homophobic redneck husband.
But, a guy I adored in high school(one of the few that got away)....introduced me to his boyfriend in college....broke my heart that I had not guessed...I felt so stupid and like such a lousy friend!
Unless he's said he's grossed out by sex with a female....I don't think you can lay down exact signs.
Gay people are People first...and that makes each one an individual.
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