A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I would like your opinion on something. Would anyone marry someone who has had an abortion, had an affair with a married man, cannot tell you exactly when the affair eded, lied to you about many different things, flirts aimlessly with other guys even in your presence, kisses guys who she barely even knows on the lips, shows little and sometimes no affection to you even though she says she loves you, gets hysterical and really defensive at the slightest idea of you not trusting her, is not open to questions about her sexual past, pretends not to understand certain questions about her past and in turn blames you for not trusting her.
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abortion, affair, flirt, her past, married man, sexual past Reply to this Question
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female
reader, 48years  +, writes (28 December 2008):
 I agree with pvtguy with one addition:
Picture yourself with her 10, 20 years from now. Marriage is forever.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): I wouldn't marry a man who passed judgement about my past, looked down on me because I fell in love with the wrong man, had to have an abortion or mistook my friendly gestures as signs that I'm a raving sex addict. I wouldn't marry a man who was insecure and Winny, who was weaker than me, I wouldn't marry a man who did seem to understand my vulnerabilities. I wouldn't marry a man who dared to ask me about my past, as if he is judge and jury and can pass sentence on me. I wouldn't marry a man who doesn't trust me, and keeps throwing my past in my face. I wouldn't marry a man who thinks he is pure and holy, and looks down on other people who make mistakes in life. Indeed I wouldn't marry a man like you, I don't this girl should either, you two just don't suit.
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A
female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (28 December 2008):
 Hi, I agree with a lot of what has already been said. I do have to say, that people must want to chanbe, you can spend a whole lot of time, trying to get a person to change, but if the way that person behaves is the way they are deep down, then that is what you will have. Sometimes love is not enough, have you ever known people who marry, divorce remarry and divorce again. It happens, people will drive you nuts, and the very big thing is, that you must trust those you want to make a life with. She sounds very much in need of affection, and she's looking for approval. You may not have all she needs and it may be too much to try to supply. Then what about you? How do you have your needs satisfied? You should think long and hard about this, if the furniture, has too many things that you will have to change, you should find a piece of furniture, that better fits your needs, even if it takes time. Why settle for something you have to disassemble to meet your standards. This is your life, peace of mind is everything, and trust is a major part of that peace. Take care, stay in touch. Think about what is best for your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): From what you have posted I think you know the answer already and are looking for moral suport to dump her.
If I were you NO i would not marry this person. It doesent sound like she is mentally stable, trustworthy or has any morals. Not what id be looking for in a long term partner (not to mention the mother of my children ) thats for sure.
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