A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey I believe my mother in law doesn't like me even though my husband says she does. We were supposed to move across the country to live closer to them but now I'm not so sure I want to. Some background info I'm white my husband is Mexican, we got married in a Christian church his family is very Catholic and were mad and kept calling our marriage fake and me a fake wife. My husband doesn't believe in the Catholic stuff but he would never tell them that so they think it was me forcing it even though he told them I wasn't forcing it and that he didn't care.They also only speak Spanish I don't, to be nice I send pictures of our kids and use Google translate to send messages but she never replies back. They last saw the oldest when she was 3 she's about to be 6 and now we have a 2 month old.My husband wants us to move back to his home town and have the kids be around his family more, they don't know Spanish either so can't even talk to most of the family our oldest doesn't want to learn and I've tried but it's just to fast for me to understand and my husband doesn't want to teach them himself. His family also refuses to try to learn English.They blame me for there son not calling much anymore even though we have a newborn now, the mom never calls she says she can't because I'm always around.He's also the first person in his family to date outside his race I'm not sure if that could be apart of it but he says they've never said anything about me being white they did say they wish there grandkids were born in Texas so they could be a "real Mexican". He says he asked before and they said they like me but with all this I don't think they really do.Would it be stupid to move across the country with it how it is now? I did want to move there but I don't want to deal with his family being like this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2020): It is better to live far away from them like I do.I have been so happy since we moved.Less stress and drama.Stay living far away trust me on this.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (19 March 2020):
 No, this is not a good idea. It's not just the language. You don't understand the culture or the religion. Until you can understand all of that you should not live that close.
Living in his home town would get you that education in a very unpleasant way.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 March 2020):
 Um, Mexicans aren't a race, OP.
That is a nationality, and widely ethnically diverse one.
https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/06/16/321819185/on-the-census-who-checks-hispanic-who-checks-white-and-why
Should you move to his home town in Mexico? When you can't speak the language even-though you have been married for at least 6 years to your husband, and you don't seemingly WANT to move either.
WHY not find a compromise? Live closer (as in place in (maybe) Texas where you can feel at home but also HIS family can come visit and you can go visit them?) It would also help if you are working to stay in a place where English is used primarily.
And why not learn Spanish? So you CAN communicate with them? And you and your husband should be teaching the little ones Spanish too. It is MUCH easier for little kids to pick up languages than it is for adults.
Personally? I wouldn't move to the same town as the in-laws I wasn't close with. Whom I didn't get on with. Closer maybe, but right next door? Nah. The kids though could benefit from getting to know his family.
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