A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:2 weeks ago,one of my co-workers that I’m cool with ,approched me and asked when I’m free.I said I was not sure and ask why she was asking.She proceeded to tell me that she needs help with something she is starting but she doesn’t want to discuss it inside work place then she handed me her phone to put my number in.I asked what it is but she says it won’t be ecxiting if she tells me now.Then she contacts me after a week later and ask when I’m free.We set a day and place to meet.She wanted to come to my house but i suggested we meet at cofee shop close to my house.I asked her what she is selling,she denied selling anything.I was usure weather I should meet her so I contacted another co-worker that I’m friendly with if this co-worker in question had tried selling anything to her.She informed me that she indeed tried selling her life insurance .She asked me not to tell the other co-worker that I found out from her.I promised I wouldn’t let her know So we were supposed to meet today ..I sent her text and let her know that I couldn’t make it.She says ok,let me know when you are free.The thing is I’m not intrested but I can’t tell her that I’ve found out from another co-worker what she is trying to sell.I have to honor my word and she won't tell me upfront what she wants.Would it be rude to just not get back to her?
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female
reader, Eagle'sfan1986  +, writes (19 November 2016):
I would show up and listen to what she has to say. But if you aren't inretest at all you can kindly tell her no thank you and just get up and leave. She can't make you have her insurance. Have your own insurance.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYea,it is best to be direct with her because she will ignore a polite brush off
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (15 November 2016):
 I agree with the others. People like this ignore hints. They rely on others being too polite to stand their ground so you're going to have to be direct. Polite, but firm.
I know you don't want to betray a confidence, but people should not give you information you can't use. If it's that big a secret, your other co-worker shouldn't have told you.
If this pushy woman insists on forcing your hand, just tell her you know she's trying to sell insurance and you're not buying. Don't get into any explanations and DO NOT APOLOGIZE.
Polite but firm.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (14 November 2016):
 I agree with Honeypie.
I would set up a couple of pre-timed “emergency” texts that arrive during your scheduled time with her.
You can ignore them if all is well but if it’s a sales pitch just say, “sorry, I need to respond to these texts. Email me the rest of the sales pitch as I won’t have time to go over it with you at this time.”
Then later you could respond with:
“I’ve had the chance to catch up with things and wanted to follow up with our coffee meeting last week. I’m very disappointed that you are using work contacts as a means of selling insurance. While I have no complaints with you as a colleague I do resent being pitched for insurance when I thought you needed assistance with something personal.
“I’d appreciate being taken out of any marketing or sales pitches from here going forward.”
Maybe this is a life lesson you need to learn now: how to assert yourself in a positive way.
Woman up, put on the big girl panties and don’t be cowed or bullied by a coworker.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Honey Pie for your suggestion. The thing, I already found out from the other the co worker that she wants to sell me insurance. I'm not interested but I can't divulge to her that I found out what she wants since I promised my other co-worker(who told me) that I will honor my promise to not let her know. Also I'm not really interested in anything personal with this college and I feel like I have been suckered into giving her my contact information. I was put on the spot
But yea,you are right the more I try and make up excuses the more this will be annoying for me.. it is best to nip it in the bud
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 November 2016):
 Personally? I'd meet her for coffee and the MOMENT she goes into an "insurance sales pitch" I'd stop and tell her that you are not interested AT ALL and that you are actually disappointed that she is trying to take advantage of your work relationship to PIMP an OBVIOUS side job selling insurance.
Either she will have SOME shame and stop or she will get mad and you can FREELY ignore her from now on. (plus block her number)
I think the more you try and make up excuses the more this will be annoying for you, which I why I suggest you take the bull by the horns.
And who knows, maybe it's NOT about her selling something. You never know.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo I didn't get back to her as I promised..hoping she will get the hint and leave it alone.However,I ran into her yesterday at work after more than week.I hardly run into her since I work part time and we don't work same floorsThe first thing she said was "oh you dump me huh".I asked her what she meant then she proceeded to tell me that she texted me again asking when I'm free but I didn't respond.I was unware that she subsequently texted me because I lost my phone last week at school so I promptly called my provider to deactivate it just incase someone tries using it.Apparentley the teacher found it and kept it for me.I will get it back this week.I explained this to her and asked her once again why she wants to meet and if it a sales pitch. She said she can't discuss over here at work because she will get into trouble. Then I asked her to tell me over the phone, she says no, If I'm going to meet you outside work, then we will discuss it in person not over the phone and at least I can show you. I told her that I need to know before we meet but she still insist to meet. She is being pushy now. Should I just ignore it from now ?Will she finally get the hint if I don't follow up with her again? I don't want to create an awkward environment at work
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2016): She's the one being rude here, not you. She is trying to get you to spend your free time with her, for her gain. She won't tell you why and in my opinion behaving in an underhand way in an attempt to get your money. If I were you I wouldn't get back to her at all. If she brought it up I'd just breezily say I've got lots going on at the moment and make something up or just leave it at that. If she carried on trying I'd say the same thing until she got the message. The reason I wouldn't be straight with her is because she isn't being straight with you. I would enjoy wasting her time the way she has been trying to waste yours.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (5 November 2016):
You're very welcome.
You're not rude for not getting back to her, but if she has any sense (and only a little since she's trying to peddle life insurance to friends/co-workers) she'll take it as a hint and leave it alone.
Don't feel obliged to spare her feelings though. You can be polite, but firm.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 November 2016):
I don't think it's that hard to tell a person no. If I were you I'd either meet with her and nip it in the bud when she starts her sales pitch or like Ciar says, tell her it sounds like a sales pitch and you are not buying. If you still want to meet up for coffee with her go for it.
Besides, would the company be OK with her selling insurance to co-workers? Not that I would make life difficult for her, but that is a bit shady if you ask me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys for your insights..And she is just a co worker that I'm cordial and civil just like any other co worker. We don't talk outside work or hangout...so we're not friends. Now all the sudden she wants to meet outside work needing help with something
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female
reader, Ciar +, writes (5 November 2016):
Just tell her this all sounds like some sales pitch and you're not up for secret meetings. She can tell you whatever it is over the phone. After that don't follow up. You can be upbeat but totally unapologetic. She's the one bothering you, not then other way round.
If/when she tells you what it is, politely decline. It is a BAD idea to do business with friends.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (5 November 2016):
 How friendly are you with her?
Personally I'd just say I'd caught wind of what she's doing and you're not interested. Who cares if she's offended? If I gave up my free time to a co worker to try and sell me life insurance I'd be very pissed off. You don't have to drop any names either.
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